Breakups can be brutal, whether it was a mutual decision, you did the “dumping,” or you were blindsided by your former significant other’s change of heart. After being with someone special, finding yourself single is new territory to tackle. It may have been a relatively short relationship or one that lasted for years, but your new status will take some time to get used to.
Moving on is essential, and everyone goes at their own pace. Getting over the initial slump and slowly finding a “new normal” outside the comfort of a relationship will be a mountain to climb, so taking it bit by bit will get you back into your groove.
These tools can aid you in embracing your newly single self, allowing you to take what you’ve learned from the past and apply it as you step into this new phase. Mostly, it’s all about how you manage your emotions and behaviors, making sure they’re in your own best interest as you get over the loss and live your life to the fullest into the future.
Talk with Someone You Trust
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside won’t make them disappear. Eventually, they’ll boil over and you’ll feel broken. You don’t have to do this alone. Share your thoughts with a close friend or family member, one who has your back, but won’t sugarcoat the truth. You need a sounding board, but guidance and advice are just as important.
Be raw and vulnerable, and don’t worry about seeming weak or confused. A true companion will be a shoulder to cry on and an uplifting force. If you don’t have someone you’re close with and you need to let it out, a therapist can get you through this rough patch.
No Social Media “Stalking”
Unless you part as friends, it’s a good idea to “unfollow” and “unfriend” your ex. The last thing you need to do is see photos of their whereabouts, who they’re spending time with, and so forth. You’re sure to interpret things incorrectly, further adding to your already unstable state. Do yourself a favor and you’ll soon forget about them. Ask your friends to do the same, so they don’t have any information they may accidentally (or purposefully) spill.
Time off from social media in general is probably a positive thing anyhow post-breakup. It gives you more time to reflect and look within, rather than scrolling mindlessly to mask your pain.
Embrace The “Me Time”
Now that you’re solo, use the time alone to your advantage. You don’t have to worry about anyone else’s needs for the time being, so make “me time” your main priority. Get a massage. Exercise more. Go out for brunch…yes, by yourself. Soak in a relaxing bubble bath and listen to music as you sip a glass of bubbly. Whatever makes you feel soothed and stress-free should be your go-to activity, ASAP.
Hang Out with Friends
When you’re in a relationship, so much time is devoted to the other person. This often leaves less time for friendships, and sometimes, less fun. Your single self needs to let loose and do something special. Connect with friends and hit the town. If you love music and dancing, check out the club scene. Perhaps you’re more low-key, so meet at a wine bar or local café. If you have the time and money, book a short getaway with your besties. Not only will you have a blast, but it’ll get your mind off the breakup.
Your breakup doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t have to determine how you move on. Time will pass and you’ll have the memories, but there’s more to life…and potentially, a new love! Good luck!