Sooner or later, we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t always be there for our kids. At one point or the other, they need to stand up for themselves in the face of obstacles and adversities. Raising kids that can cope with stress and rise against challenges is no easy task as a parent. The good news is, with the right steps, every child can be resilient.

Growing up, I experienced what bullying felt like and what it does to a child. I saw the effects of a broken family, low academic performance, low self-esteem, and general stress on the fellow kids around me. I made up my mind right then and there that my kids would be different. Now, most of these challenges happen in areas we can’t precisely predict or control, like bullying and divorce, but we can control how our kids react right after.

Do they get back up, or do they stay down? Follow me as I guide you through 6 practical yet fun steps to teach your kids to be resilient.

Now let’s get right to it!

 

  1. Teach them to be independent

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve always heard people say experience is the best teacher. As a parent, I have come to agree absolutely with it. Being a parent doesn’t mean you always have to jump in every time your kids face an issue. Sometimes it means sitting back and watching them sort things out on their own. I have found that not only does this make them more confident, but it also helps me understand them better. I have found that every kid has a different way of solving their problems. Teach your child to find their way by letting them confront uncertainty and adversity in their way.

 

  1. Maintain a strong relationship with them

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does leaving your child to sort things out mean staying entirely out of it? No. Part of being a parent means being there when things go south. A little push in the right path might be all they need. Maintaining a close relationship with your kids will help you know just when they are going into a shell and how to help them crack it right open.

Handling their issues doesn’t mean they will always handle them correctly. They are sure to make mistakes. Be there to lift them up when they make the wrong choices, so it doesn’t affect their confidence. Teach them that the beauty of falling is getting right back up. That is resilience!

 

  1. Encourage healthy risks

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let us face it; the real world is full of risks. Taking risk head-on is a skill many adults are still learning to master. Leaving the comfort zone is something many kids don’t do quite often, and when it comes down to it, they have no idea what to do and get beat down. Healthy risks are more or less little pushes and nudges to do things outside their “safe zone,” as I like to call it. Just like learning to ride a bike comes with the risk of getting injured, learning to live comes with the risk of getting hurt. Teaching your child this at an early stage in the most practical and fun way will take them a step closer to being resilient.

 

  1. Play the question-answer game

 

 

 

 

 

 

An excellent way to kick things off is to ask questions about everyday situations, listen to their answers, and determine how they would react in such a situation. If your kid fails an important test, instead of saying “You should repeat the test,” why not say, “Why do you think you didn’t perform so well on your test?” They will most likely say it’s because they didn’t understand the topics or study well enough for the test.

This helps them think through and identify their problem on their own instead of sulking about it. You can then ask, “How do you think you can do better?” From there, you can proffer solutions on how they can fix the problems they identified.

 

  1. Let them make mistakes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mistakes are opportunities to see what works and what doesn’t. Therefore, to teach resilience, you should let your kid make mistakes. If their method doesn’t work, let them know it’s okay to try something else until they get it. Always learn to embrace their mistakes and let them know you make them too. They learn to identify their problems, find multiple solutions and keep trying until it all works out.

 

  1. Be a coach

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being a parent means multiple job descriptions in one, and most times, it means being their coach; their emotional, social, physical, financial, and academic coach. A coach trains, a coach tests, a coach examines, a coach advises, a coach penalizes, a coach places hurdles and obstacles in paths, and helps you get right back up! That’s who you need to be. A parent that would help your kids surpass their limits. Sometimes, part of being a parent means putting tests, games, obstacles, and challenges in your kids’ paths and watching them scale right through; it is an entire process. Make it fun, make it practical, make it real, and watch them grow to face it all.

 

To sum it all up, we can say to teach your kids to be resilient, you have to be there, and at the same time, not be there. In the end, we have to be resilient to make our kids resilient, and with these six tips, you sure can make it work!