About Lyoshi Esters

Lyoshi Esters’ is a native of Virginia his heart pumps with passion as he promotes positive change. He motivates and educates people on how to overcome the challenges of this world. His life story has inspired many people to believe that their life is never over unless they believe it’s over. He is the Pastor of Fire for Christ Ministries, in Farmville, Virginia.  He has also studied and became a professional life coach at Erickson Coaching International where he successfully completed certified coursework in the area of "The Art & Science of Coaching". Lyoshi Esters attends Southern New Hampshire University majoring in social psychology. He is a soon to be author with the release of his first book "Let There Be Light" How to think positive when darkness is all around you. Lyoshi’s mission is to motivate others to not limit themselves, so that they can step into their greatness to find their light and purpose in the world.

How to Handle Family Conflicts

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”    There isn’t a family on earth that hasn’t had to battle with conflict at some point or another. Having a positive family doesn’t mean you don’t have to manage conflict. There are many reasons family conflict occurs. We are all different and have distinctive experiences in how we communicate, what we value and how we live our lives. So, yes, it is normal for a family to have conflict, but the secret is in how you deal with them.   Here are the three family conflict resolution secrets:   Take your heart out of the conflict when communicating Taking your heart out of the conflict simply means keeping your emotions at bay. Sometimes your emotions may lead you to say something that you'll regret. Keep a calm voice; shouting, yelling and stomping will raise that person's stress level and automatically puts them on the defense. I know it's difficult to shut out your emotions. However, do your best to manage them and be more logical about the conflict.   "Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." --Frank Outlaw   Listen without being on the defense When listening to another individual, are you really listening with your ears? Or are you twiddling your thumbs waiting for your chance to respond? You must use active listening, which means you listen to understand and not to defend yourself. As a consequence, you can help rebuild relationships, solve problems, and instead of making assumptions, you can improve the accuracy of knowing the root of the problem, resolve conflicts, and ensure understanding. Let that family member or friend complete their thoughts and listen to them without disruption.   “Listen with the will to learn.” ― Unarine Ramaru   Brainstorm solutions together After, you've done both steps above, you should be in a good space to collectively solve the conflict together. Make sure that you are not only giving the suggestion; if so, you will think the conflict is solved but actually it isn’t until the other person suggests and you both agree to the best solution going forward.   Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. -Edward Everett Hale   #AlrightNow #2022 LiveYourBestLife

2022-08-26T18:09:29-07:00By |

Five Self-Care Tips for Your Mental Health During the Summer

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   The flexibility, warmness, and peaceful comfort that the summer month of August brings can be exciting for vacation with family and friends. However, if you are a summer lover, you'd probably feel some panic about it coming to an end. The Autumn season is approaching you, a new schedule, new job, new school or grade level for your children, and it's a bit overwhelming. Below are self-care tips that you can use to support your mental health during the transition from Summer to Autumn (Fall).   Go Outside Lifting your mood or spirit and lowering stress are ways going outside is good for your mental health. Nature presents scenes that capture your heart and mind away from the worries of life. “I go to Nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put together.” –John Burroughs   Take Time to Laugh Positive psychology researchers report that laughter brings a human into a more flourishing life, lowering stress, anxiety, and depression. When you laugh, you take your situation less seriously and feel empowered to problem-solve. “If Laughter cannot solve your problems, it will definitely DISSOLVE your problems; so that you can think clearly what to do about them.”  – Dr. Madan Kataria   Dance Music and physical movement (dance) can help improve your mood. Dancing reduces levels of cortisol and increases endorphins. “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.” - Martha Graham   Do something with friends and family Find those that will bring happiness and not add stress to your life. The emotional support provided by a positive social group enhances your psychological well-being. “Stay close to people who feel like sunlight.” — Unknown   Do something with only your children When you spend time with your children, it reduces you and your child’s depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Being present with your children builds a strong emotional support that will eventually help you and your children through life’s challenges. “The best thing to spend on your children is time.” - Arnold Glasow.   #Happy Summer  #AlrightNow #2022 LiveYourBestLife

2022-08-03T14:33:34-07:00By |

Don’t Give Up

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”   People have different capabilities of handling tough problems and the failures that may come along. Some would give up even before they get started. Others persist and achieve their dreams no matter how difficult the path proves to be. A philosopher once said that one’s ability to deal with obstacles as well as their failures determine how successful they be. Here are seven reason why you shouldn’t give up on your dream.   First, everyone struggles at some point in life. You are neither the only one nor are you the first one to be in tough situations. In the same way roses grow amidst thorns, and it calls for struggle to pluck them, no perfect outcome comes without struggle. A wise man said that nothing comes on a silver plate. The life story of Oprah Winfrey provides a clear demonstration of how this successful woman emerged from rags of poverty, to be among the richest icon producers in the world. Other icons such as Dwayne Johnson and Lewis Howes have the same story of consistent struggles and later success.   Secondly, there is more than one option in every situation. Success calls for proper evaluation of one’s past successes and failures to identify the best path to take towards the pursuit of their dreams.   Thirdly, past failures should not determine one’s own future. In fact, setbacks improve creativity and thus, one should embrace them, learn from them and use them as a stepping stone to success. After noticing that his production was not selling well in the market, Dwayne Johnson learned from his failures and laid down his agents and again emerged at the top of the market.   Fourth, no struggles last forever and one should stay positive that the situation will get better sometimes. Staying focused on the prize and being persistent no matter the price attracts some fine reward. If one has true interest in gaining something or attaining a goal, they should never give up and finally they will achieve their objectives. Remember, a faint heart never wins a fair lady.   Fifth, you were born and, therefore, there is no way you won’t face challenges on earth. Every human being exists to find a course in life; which presents a rough path at some point. The fact that you are alive gives you no chance to do nothing less than struggle. According to scientists, you were the luckiest among the four hundred trillion gametes to be conceived. Thus, you are a fighter and you can do anything you dream of with sufficient effort and determination. Whatever happens in one’s own life is directly proportional to the choices they have made as well as their ability to pursue their dreams and goals in life. The only excuse that you can give for failure or despair is death. Age, gender, race and [...]

2021-10-21T13:19:55-07:00By |

Set Yourself Free

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”   Learning to let go of something in your past can be one of the hardest things in life. Yes, letting go is very difficult. I once thought it meant a sign of weakness if I didn’t hold on. We often feel that if we let go of something or someone, we are giving up. Actually, the best thing for us is to be set free. To let go of that old jacket that you know you will never wear again, to let go of that old car that’s no longer drivable, to let go of that person that we once loved, and might still love, but deep down know they aren’t right for us. Yes, it’s easier said than done. As humans we’re accustomed to holding on, it makes us feel strong, it’s comfortable, and it’s what we know. However, if we’re stuck on the past, how can we open our hearts and minds to new things? In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find new things in your future. We hold the key to our future and it can be designed to our own liking. But often what we do is we let our past determine the design of our future. And as a result, it looks quite similar to our past. The desperate attempt to hold on to the things that were familiar to us limits our capability to experience happiness and joy in the next chapter of life. If we are going to open the door to our future, we have to throw away our key to the past. We have to let go of all the pain, all the agony, and all the grief that’s in our heads. I’ve learned in my coaching practice to be direct with less steps in order for you to retain or remember our session. Let’s begin!!   Here are two simple steps to set yourself free:   Step One: Forgive the People Who Hurt You It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody ~Maya Angelou When you’ve been hurt by someone, it’s not always easy to let it go. But holding on to a grudge will only make you feel worse. If you hang on to bitterness, disappointment, and ill will towards those who have harmed you, you are willingly handing your future to them. Zig Ziglar once said “just because somebody screwed up your past, it doesn’t mean you should give them permission to screw up your future.” Forgiveness is about braking free from the chains that bind you. Forgiveness is about moving on. Forgiveness is about refusing to replay the same event in your mind over and over again, like a broken robot. Forgiveness is about giving yourself a clean slate. Forgiveness is our choice and often our pathway [...]

2021-09-24T18:09:53-07:00By |

“THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE”

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”   We all have dreams, don’t we? Dreams of being the most successful person at work. Dreams of being a thriving entrepreneur. Dreams of writing that book that you always wanted to. But then something comes in between and those dreams are tucked away in the garage of our lives for that one day in the future.   Why do you have to wait for that one day? Why do we have to tuck our dreams away? Why have you settled 5-13 years on a job you're not happy at? Deep down, you know this is not what you want out of your life, even though it may be convenient financially. You know exactly what you want to do, you know how you want to live your life, but something is holding you back.   Is it the little voice inside your head that tells you you’re not good enough? Is it the negative judgment from concerned friends and family? Do you realize that these little voices can chip away at your self-confidence? Yes, they could fatally corrode your confidence. Well, today I want you to recapture your passion and confidence for your dreams. Do you know that your dream matters? Do you know that your dream will serve a purpose on earth?  Do you know that your dream will help someone in life?   Your dream should not be cast down or put on hold. If it is friends, families, and acquaintances that are advising you not to follow your dream and are unknowingly holding you back, then don’t share your thoughts with them. That simple. Yes, it is great to have feedback, but only if it is going to encourage and develop you, not demolish your confidence. If you really believe in your dream, ask the experts for directions and rational suggestions, not concerned friends and family members that don’t know all the facts.    Your dream is non-negotiable!! That's right say it with me, "NON-NEGOTIABLE!"  This means you refuse to negatively discuss your dream or even change it. Let me say it this way, "What you dreamt to do, no one or anything should be able to negatively discuss it or change it. It's Non-Negotiable!" -Lyoshi Esters   Here are some Non-Negotiable tips for you:   Eliminate Negative Self-Talk – This Is Non-Negotiable! Negative self-talk limits you, increases stress, and hurts your self-concept. Here’s a tip, as you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, you can stop your thought mid-stream by saying to yourself “Stop.” Saying this aloud will be more powerful, and having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts, and where. Replace it with positive affirmations like: I ENJOY THE VARIETY OF LIFE, I SEE AND VALUE MY UNIQUENESS, I AM EASY ON MYSELF, I GO FOR THAT WHICH MAKES [...]

2021-04-02T17:46:33-07:00By |

You Have the Power

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” According to Dr. Andrew Newberg, words can change your brain. In his book Words Can Change Your Brain, he states that “Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is taught with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money, and respect, while the wrong words or even the right words spoken in the wrong way can lead a country to war. We must carefully organize our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.” We all are aware of great leaders past or present who've used the power of words to revolutionize and revitalize our emotions and minds to what we believe we should be as humans. From Ronald Regan's 1987 speech that challenged Soviet leader Gorbachev to "tear down" the Berlin wall to Barack Obama's famous "A More Perfect Union" speech, or his popular campaign chant "Yes We Can," we are all well aware that beliefs are formed by words and they can be changed by words. However, what about us? I believe we each have words to ignite change, to move ourselves to action, and to improve the quality of our lives? Do you believe there is power in words? Do you believe that words can change your future or the moment you are presently in?   For instance,  we say these words to ourselves: Monday. 8:30 am: I am not good enough to work here. Tuesday. 5:15 pm: I'm not a good mother or father. I could be doing so much more right now. Wednesday. 6:30 am: This job isn’t paying all of my bills. I hate myself. Thursday. 9:00 pm: Things just won't get better for me. Do I have to wake up for work tomorrow? Friday. 2:00 pm: I am the worst human being. No one will ever love me. I make too many mistakes. Saturday. 4:00 pm: I'm so sick and full of pain. Maybe this will always be with me. Sunday. 10:00 am: I still don't feel like I'm in a good state of mind even after going to God in prayer.   Do you see what's going on here? What happened? Why are we thinking and saying these things to ourselves? Words happened. Words we told ourselves. Words others told us and we believe. Someone once said, “the words you speak become the house you live in." If you are a negative person and always speaking death, doubt, doom, and gloom and defeat in your life, that is what you will have. Words can function like medicine; they either have a positive impact or damaging effect.   Just like medicine can either cure or kill, words can bring life or death. -Lyoshi Esters   Unbeknownst to us, every day our words can kill our hope, self-esteem, confidence, desire, joy, peace, and beauty. There's [...]

2020-10-08T14:56:07-07:00By |

3 Simple Ways to Be Happier in 2020

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”    Are you happy? You deserve to be happy. Not just any kind of happy, but genuinely happy. Yet, how can you be happy during something like the COVID-19 pandemic? How can you even think about happiness and peace during these times? You might think it is difficult and impossible, and that a life of happiness and peace in 2020 requires specific happenings. This is not so. There is no perfect time or right time. Every day you deserve to feel like you’re excited to be alive. I'm not looking over the fact that most of us have heard the voice of "2020" whisper things like:   “You won't achieve happiness.” "Life won't give you what you want." "From now on this is how it will always be." However, you can choose to not allow 2020 to defeat you. You can choose to still act on your dream. Why? Because NO YEAR and NO ONE can overrule your decision to live a blissful life. “No human on earth has power over you; you are the driver of your own life; don't give up your driver's seat.”-Lyoshi Esters   You deserve to feel good about your life. You deserve to look forward to the future with a hopeful mindset instead of a fearful one. So, what’s my goal? It is to motivate you to FIGHT for your RIGHT to be HAPPY.   Here are 3 simple ways to live a happier life in 2020.   1. Be a doer The doers are the ones that take it from the mind and into real life. They aren’t afraid to just do it and make their happiness a reality. When life is beating you down, get up, fight back, be a doer. Don’t just accept your outcomes. Don’t be submissive. Be active, a doer. Give your fears and stress the boot and power through like a Dodge Challenger vehicle. Your happiness is on the other side!   2. Practice mindfulness Do you ever notice how one negative thought can send us into a place of distress, fear, shame or sadness? Practicing mindfulness can help us to identify and disengage these thoughts, moving our attention back to the present moment with thoughts that support us. Mindfulness has been shown to help us be less affected by stress, more relaxed and more productive. For the next 15 days, choose one of these activities to focus on each day. Walking the dog for 15 minutes (Listen to your breathing, listen to your footsteps, and let your dog walk you safely around the park.) Taking a shower (Listen to the sound of the water as it relaxes your brain, take this moment and allow your thoughts and feelings to be washed away.) Soothing Music (Permit yourself to only listen to the music, without constantly checking your email or searching google or social media on your [...]

2020-10-08T15:05:34-07:00By |

Hit The Reset

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” Some years ago, I was driving to an unfamiliar location. I put the address information into the Google navigation app on my phone and headed out in high confidence that I would get where I needed to go. But something unexpected happened. For some odd reason, the system I was depending on to give me direction failed. After a couple of U-turns and some very complicated directions from the computerized voice talking to me, I started feeling uncomfortable. I had the sense that something wasn’t right with the guidance I was receiving. I had that feeling inside that said, “You’re lost!” After a few moments of concern, I shut down the GPS app and restarted my phone. I thought to myself "maybe everything needed to be reset." For some reason, totally unknown to me, something was off in the GPS system, and resetting it was the cure. When I restarted the program, re-entered the address and began the navigation again, everything worked as it was supposed to. The reset got me back on track. It brought me out of being lost into a sure direction again. It's amazing! Where would we be without a reset feature? Have you ever thought while dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic crisis that maybe your life needs a reset right now? We need a reset button for life itself because we perpetually find ourselves all tied up in knots over some problem, or feeling entangled in situations that we have no control over. Many times in our life journey we get off track. Through the busyness of life, the influence of wrong thinking, wrong people, wrong priorities, or whatever, our internal sense of direction is confused. We end up wandering into territory we shouldn’t be in. We start listening to voices that misguide us. And before long, we have that sinking feeling that says, “You’re lost!” Some of us are lost because of the COVID-19 illness that has sadly taken so many lives. We don’t know how to be normal when an abnormal illness resides in our country. With so much uncertainty going on and injustice on the rise, we begin to take unpleasant thoughts seriously. Thoughts like, “That was a complete disaster,” “I’ll never amount to anything,” “People are idiots,” and “Things never work out,” often feel like the absolute truth- like depressing but important insights about the way things really are. It’s easy to forget that they’re just thoughts. To utter the words, “I think I need a reset,” can be scary. But what if… We do need a reset? I don’t know about you, but every now and again, I need a reset.   Here are three simple ways to hit the reset button on life!   Laughter “When you laugh, at that very moment your depression takes a back seat.” -Lyoshi Esters Sometimes, no matter how difficult life may [...]

2020-09-23T16:44:40-07:00By |

Break the Cycle

Do you know that people who are stuck having the same problem are in a cycle? It’s like they are on a treadmill going nowhere. You face the same old stuff year after year. Same old job year after year, wishing you could get out, situations with your children, the financial treadmill, chronic failure, repeated illness or sickness, family dysfunction, and negativity. You feel like you’re going to suffocate because there is so much weighing you down. You don’t really know why, but this force is relentless. No matter what you do, you carry this knotted heaviness inside everywhere you go. You keep repeating the pattern and now nothing feels right anymore. You look at your life and marvel at how it doesn’t feel like ‘yours’ at all. You desperately want to escape; you badly want to move beyond the cycle. However, you keep going around in a circle. Have you ever felt sometimes that your life was going around in circles? It can be frustrating, dizzying, discouraging and hard to know what to do about it. So what are some steps to break this cycle?   Ban Negative Self Talk Do you often identify with your struggles? “I’m depressed.” “I’m a failure at school/work/life.” In those words, you can hear, “This struggle is me,” or “I’ll never overcome it.” How many of you have said these words, either to your closest confidante or just to yourself, when no one else is around? You’ve been brainwashed to go from powerful to powerless, but you don’t have to remain stuck in that place. There is a way out of this cycle, and it starts from looking within. After reading this article, go find a mirror and say, “I will listen to that whisper of hope that says, ‘you can do it, try again.’” “You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” -Les Brown   Cultivate gratitude You’ve probably heard it a million times, but keeping a gratitude journal about what you’re thankful for can have a big effect on your mindset. “Gratitude is the heart’s memory,” says the French proverb. You might wonder, when things go wrong what do you really have to be grateful about? Think of the worst times in your life, your losses, your sadness, and then remember that here you are, standing tall, that you made it through the worst times of your life. You got through the confusion, you got through the obstacles, you endured the storm, you survived the dark relationship. Remember what you’ve gone through, then look to see where you are headed.   Love and Accept Yourself Unconditional love means you love yourself no matter what. It means you have unconditional worth. Love yourself without judgment. To love yourself is to be with yourself through the hard times. The love deep inside awaits you to come home. It is your palace of refuge, a place that knows no bounds, other than to receive you in [...]

2020-02-10T12:30:33-08:00By |

The Value of Love

What are your values? Down through the ages, many have said honesty, loyalty, justice, fairness, mercy, and bravery. I concur, however I believe that in this new decade we need not to forget the value of love. That raises some important questions. Is love a value? Does love belong in the same category as these other values? A value is a characteristic of merit to which we can live by. So, can we live by love?   “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” — Lao Tzu   Based on the current events that are happening in the world, like me, you probably also feel like the future is uncertain and that the world is quickly turning into a very sad place. With rumors of war, hate, and unfairness happening, we feel powerless sometimes not knowing what to do to help stop these things from coming to pass in the scary world that we live in. However, I believe we as humans have forgotten that one thing that can heal the brokenness of this world, love. Love is the value that makes our relationships better. Love means I can be kind, caring, and understanding. Spreading love in your own way will get us one step closer to unity throughout mankind. It would make it a more positive and livable place for our children. It doesn’t have to be too great or too big, it can be as small as expressing gratitude to your friends and family, or helping out a stranger whenever they need a helping hand. Donate your clothes you no longer wear. Say “thank you” more. Make an extra lunch for a homeless person. In conclusion, in today’s society we are overloaded with messages that admonish us to put “me” first. As a consequence, we forget that the point of having the value of love is to spread it to others. When you spread the love, the love comes back to you many times over through loving relationships. If we can all come together and do our small part each day in spreading the value of love, we can leave this world knowing that we have created a positive place for our children to enjoy without any fear or sadness. So, can we live by love? I say, YES, WE CAN!

2020-10-05T14:10:41-07:00By |

Top 15 Things to Say to Myself

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   What can you say about yourself? The way we speak to ourselves internally makes a large distinction in how we live. There is a plethora of things that you can say to yourself each day to be able to make better decisions and improve your mood. So, re-wire your brain and be more confident.   "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." – Mae West   If you say positive things, it makes way for a positive boost in the mood and gets you in the groove! Remember you are what you say you are!   Here are 15 Positive Things to Say to Yourself Daily The world has a need for me. I am smart. I love myself for who I am. I am beautiful inside and out. My life matters. My opinions matter. I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Being me is enough. I love my body. I am vauled. I am talented. I am so blessed. I am a winner. I fear nothing. I am loved.   Remember you are what you say you are!

2019-03-14T14:51:11-07:00By |

Top 4 Ways to Love Yourself

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Are you ready to love yourself? If you can't love yourself, you're going to have a hard time truly loving the world around you and enjoying the life you're living. Are you ready to take responsibility for your experience and begin to lead a happy, full life? Here are 4 important ways that can help you love yourself!   1. Eliminate Negative Self-Talk - Utilize the Power of Positive Talk Negative self-talk limits you, increases stress, and hurts your self-concept. Here’s a tip, as you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind. You can stop your thought mid-stream by saying to yourself, “Stop.” Saying this aloud will be more powerful, and having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts. Replace it with Positive Affirmations like: I ENJOY THE VARIETY OF LIFE. I SEE AND VALUE MY UNIQUENESS. I AM EASY ON MYSELF. I KNOW I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN. I GO FOR THAT WHICH MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. I FEEL ALIVE. I AM CREATING A GOOD LIFE FOR MYSELF. I LOVE WHERE I COME FROM. I LOVE WHERE I AM. I LOVE WHERE I AM GOING. I AM HAPPY TO BE ME. I AM TOTALLY FREE. If you are ready to change your life then you must first change the way you talk to yourself.   2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Focus on You If you struggle with issues of self-esteem and insecurity, the worst possible thing you can do to yourself is to compare yourself to someone else. There is a plethora of ways to compare yourself to others, and all of them lead to feeling bad about yourself:  grades, sports, job title, income, career advancement, social media followers, etc. When you compare yourself to others, the worst thing you can do is bank on your limitations. People often concentrate on what they’re not good at and they spend their time wishing they could be better.  “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton Compare yourself to your goals. Compare yourself to your values. Compare yourself to where you were. Just leave other people out of the comparisons and you’ll do fine. “Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” - John Spence   3. Distance Yourself from Those Who Bring You Down - Toxic People Toxic people aren’t actually interested in you and your life. Being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one. Don’t worry too much about folks who don’t worry about you. Know your worth! When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose. Toxic folks will insult you, humiliate you, give you backhanded compliments, and make you feel like you deserve this crappy relationship. Get rid of them before [...]

2019-02-15T17:00:08-08:00By |

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