Learn How Saying No Can Be Liberating!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Is your need to please everyone getting in the way of your happiness? Exhausted. Empty. Enslaved. Do those words describe you? We have probably said “YES” more than enough times and it has caused us stress. Why is it that one of the most common words in the English language is so difficult to say? I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, there are lots of reasons I have a hard time with that one simple word. I want to please people. I don’t want to be mean or unhelpful. I don’t want to burn a bridge or miss an opportunity or miss out on something fun. I don’t want people to be mad or upset with me or to speak poorly of me. So sometimes I’ll say “Yes” to avoid that feeling.  Hmmm….. Does that sound like some of you? Why don’t we say “no?” We don’t have the guts to do it. We don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers. We’re afraid people will think that we’re not committed. We’re concerned that people will think we’re not team players. We’re concerned that people will think we are unwilling to sacrifice. And so, time and time again, we say yes when we shouldn’t. Often at the expense of something else. Does this sound like you? A yes comes out of your mouth before you have the chance to stop it and you are agreeing to something you don’t want to do. Believe it or not, saying yes to everything is also an addiction. Often times, our guilt, fear and anxiety rule our minds when we say no. Read this carefully Alrighters: Don’t feel the need to feel guilty about your decision. This will only promote anxiety and unwanted stress. Be confident when you say “NO.” Don’t always see saying “no” as letting down another person. See it as an opportunity to do something to make yourself happy and focus on your wants and needs. So, say goodbye to being a people pleaser and learn how to confidently say no to someone without feeling bad about it. Get rid of those who use you or take advantage of you. They never call you or think of you unless they need something from you – and they’re really good at persuading you to give in to them.   There’s another word for that kind of persuasion: it’s called mass manipulation. Do you feel like you’ve been manipulated, taking advantage of? If so, it’s time to WIN back your life!   “It’s only by saying “no” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs      DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY “NO” Never dwell on what people think about your decision. Walk away with peace of mind. Let it go!   YOU DON’T NEED TO [...]

Use These Sure-Fire Tips to Conquer Your Fears!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Are you a FEAR KICKER? “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” — Nelson Mandela   The number one barrier to living confidently is FEAR. You, quite frankly, deal with it every day in small and large doses. Fear has a way of keeping you in prison and preventing you from living the big life you imagine. Fear is the little monster that sits on our shoulders, holding us back from growth, success, fulfillment and happiness. It's fear that prevents you from being an entrepreneur. It's fear that stops you from ending a relationship you know is wrong for you. It’s fear that invades your thinking while taking an exam. It's fear that hold you from living your best life. Sometimes we are aware of our fear, but much of the time, we are so “used to it” that it becomes our normal. Obviously, this is a HUGE problem! WAKE up reader. “Fear is STEALING your life!” Fear is taking stealing everything that you suppose to have, like love, joy, peace, and happiness. I always say, your fear should not have a cozy room in your life. “Whatever you do — don't let your fear live with you. KICK FEAR TO THE CURB." I've spent many years of my life believing, one day, I'll be the person I was meant to be. I waited and hoped, and I circled my comfort zone like a sad puppy. I now realize the key is to get beyond that and take risks without letting the fear of failure take over. By taking calculated risks, not being afraid to try new things, and continually challenging ourselves, it becomes easy to cultivate openness to new experiences. If you want to live fearlessly, you absolutely must let go of some beliefs and actions. Here are some of them: What other people think of you. You will never please everyone, and it is hardly worth sacrificing yourself to entertain some other person's beliefs about who you should be or what you should do. Fear of failing. You will fail. Again and again and again. Legendary speaker Les Brown said, “You will fail your way to success.” It is an inevitable part of success. Accept that, and failure won't be so intimidating. The discomfort of fear. Fear is annoying or uncomfortable. No one likes to be sitting in fear. We'll do just about anything to bypass it. But you must know from experience, it is temporary. And it doesn't kill you. Fear disappears when confronted! As I conclude this article, do what scares you. Start small: take baby steps. If your dream is to speak in front of a room, but the [...]

Make Your Dreams Come True by Mapping Out Your Desires!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”. Just because others can’t see or understand your dreams doesn’t mean they are not valid or real. They are your dreams! Dreams only you can envision for your own life. Recently I traveled to Los Angeles, California on a business trip. While there, I was privileged to meet with Hollywood Celebrity and AlrightNow.com Creator, Tracey Edmonds. We sat and discussed so many essential things, but what we collectively enjoyed the most was the discussion on how to use a blueprint to maintain our focus towards our dreams. Some of you that are reading this article may say, “What’s a blueprint?” A blueprint is a design plan, draw up, or model. I know you have dreams for your life, yet it can sometimes feel impossible to make them real. Mainly because you haven’t yet found a blueprint to actually accomplish your greatest dreams. Most of us work so hard during the week with our 9-5 jobs that we don’t have time to literally draw out our blueprint for our own dreams. Once we get home from working an 8 to 9 hour day, we are too exhausted to do anything but eat and sleep. Well if you’re reading this, I want you to at least give 1 hour a day on the blueprint to your dream. I believe you were created on purpose, you are here to succeed and fulfill your dreams. So, you’ve made a decision, you’ve decided enough is enough, that there’s more to life than your 9 to 5 job and you’re going to make a change. So, what’s stopping you? Well, here are some strategies I would like to share with you that will help build your blueprint to success! Remember, “A goal without a plan is just a wish!”  Visualize Your New Life However crazy it sounds, when you start seeing your new reality, you will start SEEING your new reality. Allow this to be embedded into your everyday life. For example, instead of going home after work and immediately cutting on Netflix, replace that routine by going to a quiet place in your home and for 10 minutes, visualize yourself living your best life. Visualization is defined as to recall or form mental images or pictures; to make visual or visible; to form a mental image of; or to make perceptible to the mind or imagination. “To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” - Richard Bach So if you keep visualizing your gorgeous house on the hills, overlooking a vineyard, where you're with your children and with the love of your life...don't be shocked when that becomes your reality! It's like you're sending an order form to the God of the Universe saying, "Here are my desires, and I know you will grant them!" It’s not good enough [...]

Learn how to build your self esteem and get the life you want!   When you aren't confident in yourself, you don't take risks, don't appreciate life and usually end up stuck/bogged down in places you don't want to be. Low self-confidence often lies beneath the surface, crippling you in ways you aren't aware of. It’s easy to get stuck at work (or in life) when you’re playing small, and not pushing yourself or taking risks because you lack the confidence. Confidence is a mental make-up or a way of thinking. It’s a technique that can be learned, and one of the ways to assemble your self-confidence is by practicing it every day. "Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." -Barrie Davenport Try these five tips to start building your self-confidence today. Don't just read them and put them on hold. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today.   EVUALATE YOUR INNER CIRCLE DO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU INSPIRE YOU? How many times have you aspired to be an author or to be an entrepreneur only to have your friend laugh and go, “Yeah, we’ll see how that goes.” If the people in your circle can’t picture you living your best life, then it’s time to replace them with people that can. People that can help build your confidence to go beyond your limitations. Find or locate people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who commonly trigger your negative thinking.   DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS “Do not underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It’s our differences that make us Unique and Beautiful.” -Author Unknown Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to feel bad about yourself. Comparing your appearance or your personality is unfortunately a way to tank your self-confidence. You see what others are doing on social media, with pictures etc., and feel like they have it better than you do. Social Media comparisons can be unhealthy and can lead to unhappiness. For example it can lead you into greater stress, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and cause you to make poor decisions. One way to improve your self-confidence is to simply spend less time on social media comparing yourself to others.   ACT POSITIVE, THINK POSITIVE POSITIVE ACTIONS WILL LEAD TO POSITIVE THINKING As the saying goes, you are how you act. Talk with people in a positive way and act the way you want to be. Do things that are known to bring happiness and wellbeing, like getting out in nature, expressing gratitude, meditating, and being social. If you spend time doing the things you enjoy, you’re more likely to think positively. Celebrating life is a great way to build confidence and start feeling better about yourself.   PUSH YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE "When you go out of your [...]

How to leave your negative past behind and enjoy the present!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   There are some people in our lives who enter like hurricanes or tornados, destroying everything in their path. If you’re not careful, they can take over your life and leave you feeling physically and mentally drained. There are some doors that take a long time to close, and when that finally does occur, we should not, under any circumstances, by any means, open them again. The fact is we never experience a life without pain and we are afraid that we are not capable of it. Or worse, we are afraid that we don’t deserve it. Trust me, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, AND FREE! Reopening the door to your past sucks the happiness out of your life, makes you stressed, and hurts your ability to focus and to push yourself forward. Give yourself a chance to live your best life to the fullest and let the past go! If no one has told you, let me be the first to say: It’s okay to… Ignore phone calls and messages Tell them that you want to be left alone Block them on social media if need be   “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ―Ann Landers   Don’t be ashamed, don’t feel stupid. I, likewise, have experienced difficulties with leaving things in the past. So, if you’re currently dealing with this process, you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK. This feeling is normal. I’ve realized that if all you do is attempt to commemorate or focus on something that has already happened, you’re missing out. You may say, “Sir, what am I missing out?” Ok, here’s the answer: The mental or psychological space you create by letting go of things that are already behind you gives you the ability to fill the space with something fresh and fun. “Why stay in the old, when you can walk in the NEW?” -Lyoshi Esters “The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” ― Steve Maraboli Slavery is a thing of the past, but by clutching or holding on to something, you are making yourself a slave and those meaningless things you refuse to let go of become your master. Don’t go back and reopen the door. Walk away and leave your past.   Let’s Talk About Relationships Sometimes relationships can be saved and passions rekindled. And sometimes we know that when something is over, it needs to remain over. We’ve all been told: “You’re too good for him/her!”  “You can do better!” And yet we STILL DON’T LISTEN. You know you’re being treated carelessly, and that you deserve more. Yet, you sit staring [...]

Learn how to keep haters away!   "Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you."   What do you do when they scandalize your name? What do you do when they assassinate your character? What do you do when they dishonor you? What do you do when they crush your feelings? What do you do when you find out who you thought was your friend was really your enemy? What do you do when the one you supported is the one trying to hurt you?  What do you do when the one who talks to you is the one who talks about you? What do you do when the one who looks like they are pushing you up, is really pulling you down? How do you rise above the haters? There is a very trendy phrase in today’s society that I would like to use, “haters gonna hate.” It means that people who don't like you will always find a reason to disapprove you, no matter what the reason may be. This exact phrase is very true because there will always be someone around who just doesn’t like who you were created to be. “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate” song lyrics pop into my mind when I think about those who may have an evil eye against you. So, how do you combat those who despise you?   Rely on "True Friends" When haters are all around you, it’s very essential to surround yourself with great people – true friends that push you to be your best in life. Make sure that you know who your true friends are and ensure that they believe who you were created to be. Allow your “True Friends” to fill your cup of positivity. This will counter negative things your haters may say about you. When you surround yourself with friends like this, your life will completely change. You become more positive, driven, and focused on your priorities not your “HATERS”. Before you know it, you’ll be surrounding yourself with friends that lift you up and distancing yourself from the people that drag you down. “Don't you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.” - Jo Blackwell-Preston   "Delete Button" Cyber haters are very effective. Don’t give into it. Don’t acknowledge their existence or their efforts to harass. Not only will they likely stop since you are not giving them the attention they crave, but it sends the message that they are such a waste of your time and energy, that you don’t even bother/care. Now, you can cling to the hate and allow it to mold who you are as an individual, or you can let it all slide off your shoulders. “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” - Bindi Irwin If you [...]

Nothing is impossible! Learn how to achieve your dreams and goals.   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”   What is something that you always really wanted to do and thought that you could never do, whether because you thought it was too hard or you were too scared? Visualize it. Why do you think it is impossible to do?   Everyone has dreams and goals. However, very few people really accomplish them. This is because more than half of us let our limits hold us back. Examples such as doubt, fear, or a negative past keeps the majority of us stuck every year. As a consequence, this makes everything feel much harder to accomplish. Many people around the world are unable to hold on when it gets to this point. As a result, they give up. It is important to learn how to push your limits and overcome them. This empowers you to achieve your goals. Here is how to push beyond your limits and achieve your biggest dreams and goals.   Change your mindset   NFL Hall of Famer Ray Lewis – “No matter the circumstances that you may be going through, just push through it. “ Adversity is a fact of life. It can’t be controlled. What we can control is how we behave. When we face imminent hardship, the first response is to go cold turkey, in other words “to give up.” If you become used to accepting this, you will become a quitter in everything you do. I used to be a quitter. I would quit whenever I was faced with insurmountable obstacles.  However I thought to myself, would I be able to do the impossible with my quitter mentality? No, I would not. To achieve your dreams, you have to overcome the desire to give up. I recommend you look up to someone whose resilience you admire such as your role model, a movie star, your parents, or your mentor. When you have time to yourself, watch motivational and inspirational movies. Watch, observe, and allow it to push you to overcome the desire to give up. Imagine how you will feel after you have finished the task. Pain is temporary, victory is forever. You need to learn how to go beyond your comfort zone on a regular basis, how to push through pain and not let it overtake you. By pushing beyond your limits, you can become everything that you ever wanted to be. You can achieve your dreams and leave a lasting legacy. Everything in life that is worth something requires an uphill battle to achieve it. “To whom much is given, much will be required.” Yes, many things seem impossible to people, when in fact they are not. Sure, you might have to increase a lot of effort to do it, but it can be done. It matters NOT the color of your skin. It matters [...]

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Doors are vital in our daily lives. Doors and doorways are places of transition or turning points. We move through them to get to the inside or the outside. We move through them to get into another room, state of being, or mode of existence. Doors can hide or reveal; exclude or include; discourage or encourage – it all depends upon whether the door is closed or open. A closed door excludes. A closed door is customarily not open for outsiders. It prevents the unapproved from certain places and spaces. Sometimes a shut door is for protection, at other times a shut door is for privacy. I know some of us have experienced closed doors. You expected something big to come to fruition only to discover that it didn't. When will things work out for me?" you asked yourself during a low moment this year. Disheartened, undesired, discouraged, let’s just be real for a moment, “it is tough to see beyond the closed door.” I want you to keep this quote near your heart this summer, "Where one door shuts another opens."  Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you. A closed door will infrequently close quietly and as a consequence pain, disappointment and shame will cause us to lose hope. But what I am learning now in the circle of life is that a closed door need not be a bad thing. Can I encourage you to make a conscious decision to trust that God of the universe is with you and be confident that what he closes, he can open in new and exciting ways! If the God of the universe says “no” to something, it is because he is saying “yes” to something better!! So whatever you’re going through, don’t go back to the closed door and try to force your way through. Move forward and allow God to direct you to a better relationship, better home, better job, better friends, better community, better doctors, better business partners. Keep your confidence. A closed door doesn't mean that it's over for you or that you’ll never see a door again. Contrariwise, it means that God is getting you ready for something bigger, better, and far greater than before. Prepare yourself for an open door.  An open door includes an opportunity, a turning point that can lead you to a place you’ve never been or even encountered. It is an invitation to pursue your own dreams and ideas. Some of us refuse to accept that certain doors have been closed. Have we been staring at the closed door, wondering why it closed, trying to force it open, or holding onto it because we don't know what else to do? Maybe we've been hanging onto relationships too long or doing the same old thing too long, thinking that the door will open. Fixating [...]

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Do you remember the person who taught you how to ride a bicycle? Do you remember either your foot slipping off the pedal and you stopping, or you found yourself wobbling and hit something, or you simply fell? Some of us took off the first time we were given a little push, but most of us did not achieve a successful ride on our very first try. But something told us to get up and try it again. We did and some of us rode off. Some of us had to get up many times before we finally got the hang of riding that bicycle. Now, if you looked at us today, you could not determine how many times we had fallen. All you know is that we can ride a bicycle. The key in learning to ride a bicycle is not to dwell on how many times you failed, but rather remember the time you got up and succeeded. It’s not uncommon to have life circumstances knock you down. For instance: You put your hopes into getting the perfect job you applied for and someone else gets it.  Life throws unexpected things at us all the time. There is something that is here now or something that is coming in the future that is going to knock us down, and there’s nothing we can do to make sure our lives are free of knock downs. The one thing we should not do is to confuse a knock down with a KNOCK OUT. Just because a great boxer is knocked down does not mean he has lost the boxing match. It’s not the knock down that determines the winner. It’s how long you’re down that’s going to matter. Yes, life will throw some hard punches at you, it will humble you, and it will knock you down. But in the words of motivational speaker Les Brown, “When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.” There is absolutely nothing that will keep you down for long if you have confidence! So, if you feel like life has knocked you down, stand up and yell: “I’m still here!!! I will achieve my dream, no matter what they say. It is my life and I will do what I dream of doing.” You must not listen to the naysayers because there will be many. Listen to your heart and there you will find the strength to get up. Yes, stay positive you’ve laid the foundation of the project. Don’t you dare GIVE UP. Don’t give in. You can get up from this financial crisis. Don’t close the business down. Don’t sell off the contract. You started it and you must finish it. I know it might not be easy to [...]