“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” Learning to let go of something in your past can be one of the hardest things in life. Yes, letting go is very difficult. I once thought it meant a sign of weakness if I didn’t hold on. We often feel that if we let go of something or someone, we are giving up. Actually, the best thing for us is to be set free. To let go of that old jacket that you know you will never wear again, to let go of that old car that’s no longer drivable, to let go of that person that we once loved, and might still love, but deep down know they aren’t right for us. Yes, it’s easier said than done. As humans we’re accustomed to holding on, it makes us feel strong, it’s comfortable, and it’s what we know. However, if we’re stuck on the past, how can we open our hearts and minds to new things? In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find new things in your future. We hold the key to our future and it can be designed to our own liking. But often what we do is we let our past determine the design of our future. And as a result, it looks quite similar to our past. The desperate attempt to hold on to the things that were familiar to us limits our capability to experience happiness and joy in the next chapter of life. If we are going to open the door to our future, we have to throw away our key to the past. We have to let go of all the pain, all the agony, and all the grief that’s in our heads. I’ve learned in my coaching practice to be direct with less steps in order for you to retain or remember our session. Let’s begin!! Here are two simple steps to set yourself free: Step One: Forgive the People Who Hurt You It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody ~Maya Angelou When you’ve been hurt by someone, it’s not always easy to let it go. But holding on to a grudge will only make you feel worse. If you hang on to bitterness, disappointment, and ill will towards those who have harmed you, you are willingly handing your future to them. Zig Ziglar once said “just because somebody screwed up your past, it doesn’t mean you should give them permission to screw up your future.” Forgiveness is about braking free from the chains that bind you. Forgiveness is about moving on. Forgiveness is about refusing to replay the same event in your mind over and over again, like a broken robot. Forgiveness is about giving yourself a clean slate. Forgiveness is our choice and often our pathway [...]
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” We all have dreams, don’t we? Dreams of being the most successful person at work. Dreams of being a thriving entrepreneur. Dreams of writing that book that you always wanted to. But then something comes in between and those dreams are tucked away in the garage of our lives for that one day in the future. Why do you have to wait for that one day? Why do we have to tuck our dreams away? Why have you settled 5-13 years on a job you're not happy at? Deep down, you know this is not what you want out of your life, even though it may be convenient financially. You know exactly what you want to do, you know how you want to live your life, but something is holding you back. Is it the little voice inside your head that tells you you’re not good enough? Is it the negative judgment from concerned friends and family? Do you realize that these little voices can chip away at your self-confidence? Yes, they could fatally corrode your confidence. Well, today I want you to recapture your passion and confidence for your dreams. Do you know that your dream matters? Do you know that your dream will serve a purpose on earth? Do you know that your dream will help someone in life? Your dream should not be cast down or put on hold. If it is friends, families, and acquaintances that are advising you not to follow your dream and are unknowingly holding you back, then don’t share your thoughts with them. That simple. Yes, it is great to have feedback, but only if it is going to encourage and develop you, not demolish your confidence. If you really believe in your dream, ask the experts for directions and rational suggestions, not concerned friends and family members that don’t know all the facts. Your dream is non-negotiable!! That's right say it with me, "NON-NEGOTIABLE!" This means you refuse to negatively discuss your dream or even change it. Let me say it this way, "What you dreamt to do, no one or anything should be able to negatively discuss it or change it. It's Non-Negotiable!" -Lyoshi Esters Here are some Non-Negotiable tips for you: Eliminate Negative Self-Talk – This Is Non-Negotiable! Negative self-talk limits you, increases stress, and hurts your self-concept. Here’s a tip, as you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, you can stop your thought mid-stream by saying to yourself “Stop.” Saying this aloud will be more powerful, and having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts, and where. Replace it with positive affirmations like: I ENJOY THE VARIETY OF LIFE, I SEE AND VALUE MY UNIQUENESS, I AM EASY ON MYSELF, I GO FOR THAT WHICH MAKES [...]
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” According to Dr. Andrew Newberg, words can change your brain. In his book Words Can Change Your Brain, he states that “Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is taught with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money, and respect, while the wrong words or even the right words spoken in the wrong way can lead a country to war. We must carefully organize our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.” We all are aware of great leaders past or present who've used the power of words to revolutionize and revitalize our emotions and minds to what we believe we should be as humans. From Ronald Regan's 1987 speech that challenged Soviet leader Gorbachev to "tear down" the Berlin wall to Barack Obama's famous "A More Perfect Union" speech, or his popular campaign chant "Yes We Can," we are all well aware that beliefs are formed by words and they can be changed by words. However, what about us? I believe we each have words to ignite change, to move ourselves to action, and to improve the quality of our lives? Do you believe there is power in words? Do you believe that words can change your future or the moment you are presently in? For instance, we say these words to ourselves: Monday. 8:30 am: I am not good enough to work here. Tuesday. 5:15 pm: I'm not a good mother or father. I could be doing so much more right now. Wednesday. 6:30 am: This job isn’t paying all of my bills. I hate myself. Thursday. 9:00 pm: Things just won't get better for me. Do I have to wake up for work tomorrow? Friday. 2:00 pm: I am the worst human being. No one will ever love me. I make too many mistakes. Saturday. 4:00 pm: I'm so sick and full of pain. Maybe this will always be with me. Sunday. 10:00 am: I still don't feel like I'm in a good state of mind even after going to God in prayer. Do you see what's going on here? What happened? Why are we thinking and saying these things to ourselves? Words happened. Words we told ourselves. Words others told us and we believe. Someone once said, “the words you speak become the house you live in." If you are a negative person and always speaking death, doubt, doom, and gloom and defeat in your life, that is what you will have. Words can function like medicine; they either have a positive impact or damaging effect. Just like medicine can either cure or kill, words can bring life or death. -Lyoshi Esters Unbeknownst to us, every day our words can kill our hope, self-esteem, confidence, desire, joy, peace, and beauty. There's [...]
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” Are you happy? You deserve to be happy. Not just any kind of happy, but genuinely happy. Yet, how can you be happy during something like the COVID-19 pandemic? How can you even think about happiness and peace during these times? You might think it is difficult and impossible, and that a life of happiness and peace in 2020 requires specific happenings. This is not so. There is no perfect time or right time. Every day you deserve to feel like you’re excited to be alive. I'm not looking over the fact that most of us have heard the voice of "2020" whisper things like: “You won't achieve happiness.” "Life won't give you what you want." "From now on this is how it will always be." However, you can choose to not allow 2020 to defeat you. You can choose to still act on your dream. Why? Because NO YEAR and NO ONE can overrule your decision to live a blissful life. “No human on earth has power over you; you are the driver of your own life; don't give up your driver's seat.”-Lyoshi Esters You deserve to feel good about your life. You deserve to look forward to the future with a hopeful mindset instead of a fearful one. So, what’s my goal? It is to motivate you to FIGHT for your RIGHT to be HAPPY. Here are 3 simple ways to live a happier life in 2020. 1. Be a doer The doers are the ones that take it from the mind and into real life. They aren’t afraid to just do it and make their happiness a reality. When life is beating you down, get up, fight back, be a doer. Don’t just accept your outcomes. Don’t be submissive. Be active, a doer. Give your fears and stress the boot and power through like a Dodge Challenger vehicle. Your happiness is on the other side! 2. Practice mindfulness Do you ever notice how one negative thought can send us into a place of distress, fear, shame or sadness? Practicing mindfulness can help us to identify and disengage these thoughts, moving our attention back to the present moment with thoughts that support us. Mindfulness has been shown to help us be less affected by stress, more relaxed and more productive. For the next 15 days, choose one of these activities to focus on each day. Walking the dog for 15 minutes (Listen to your breathing, listen to your footsteps, and let your dog walk you safely around the park.) Taking a shower (Listen to the sound of the water as it relaxes your brain, take this moment and allow your thoughts and feelings to be washed away.) Soothing Music (Permit yourself to only listen to the music, without constantly checking your email or searching google or social media on your [...]
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” Some years ago, I was driving to an unfamiliar location. I put the address information into the Google navigation app on my phone and headed out in high confidence that I would get where I needed to go. But something unexpected happened. For some odd reason, the system I was depending on to give me direction failed. After a couple of U-turns and some very complicated directions from the computerized voice talking to me, I started feeling uncomfortable. I had the sense that something wasn’t right with the guidance I was receiving. I had that feeling inside that said, “You’re lost!” After a few moments of concern, I shut down the GPS app and restarted my phone. I thought to myself "maybe everything needed to be reset." For some reason, totally unknown to me, something was off in the GPS system, and resetting it was the cure. When I restarted the program, re-entered the address and began the navigation again, everything worked as it was supposed to. The reset got me back on track. It brought me out of being lost into a sure direction again. It's amazing! Where would we be without a reset feature? Have you ever thought while dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic crisis that maybe your life needs a reset right now? We need a reset button for life itself because we perpetually find ourselves all tied up in knots over some problem, or feeling entangled in situations that we have no control over. Many times in our life journey we get off track. Through the busyness of life, the influence of wrong thinking, wrong people, wrong priorities, or whatever, our internal sense of direction is confused. We end up wandering into territory we shouldn’t be in. We start listening to voices that misguide us. And before long, we have that sinking feeling that says, “You’re lost!” Some of us are lost because of the COVID-19 illness that has sadly taken so many lives. We don’t know how to be normal when an abnormal illness resides in our country. With so much uncertainty going on and injustice on the rise, we begin to take unpleasant thoughts seriously. Thoughts like, “That was a complete disaster,” “I’ll never amount to anything,” “People are idiots,” and “Things never work out,” often feel like the absolute truth- like depressing but important insights about the way things really are. It’s easy to forget that they’re just thoughts. To utter the words, “I think I need a reset,” can be scary. But what if… We do need a reset? I don’t know about you, but every now and again, I need a reset. Here are three simple ways to hit the reset button on life! Laughter “When you laugh, at that very moment your depression takes a back seat.” -Lyoshi Esters Sometimes, no matter how difficult life may [...]
Do you know that people who are stuck having the same problem are in a cycle? It’s like they are on a treadmill going nowhere. You face the same old stuff year after year. Same old job year after year, wishing you could get out, situations with your children, the financial treadmill, chronic failure, repeated illness or sickness, family dysfunction, and negativity. You feel like you’re going to suffocate because there is so much weighing you down. You don’t really know why, but this force is relentless. No matter what you do, you carry this knotted heaviness inside everywhere you go. You keep repeating the pattern and now nothing feels right anymore. You look at your life and marvel at how it doesn’t feel like ‘yours’ at all. You desperately want to escape; you badly want to move beyond the cycle. However, you keep going around in a circle. Have you ever felt sometimes that your life was going around in circles? It can be frustrating, dizzying, discouraging and hard to know what to do about it. So what are some steps to break this cycle? Ban Negative Self Talk Do you often identify with your struggles? “I’m depressed.” “I’m a failure at school/work/life.” In those words, you can hear, “This struggle is me,” or “I’ll never overcome it.” How many of you have said these words, either to your closest confidante or just to yourself, when no one else is around? You’ve been brainwashed to go from powerful to powerless, but you don’t have to remain stuck in that place. There is a way out of this cycle, and it starts from looking within. After reading this article, go find a mirror and say, “I will listen to that whisper of hope that says, ‘you can do it, try again.’” “You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” -Les Brown Cultivate gratitude You’ve probably heard it a million times, but keeping a gratitude journal about what you’re thankful for can have a big effect on your mindset. “Gratitude is the heart’s memory,” says the French proverb. You might wonder, when things go wrong what do you really have to be grateful about? Think of the worst times in your life, your losses, your sadness, and then remember that here you are, standing tall, that you made it through the worst times of your life. You got through the confusion, you got through the obstacles, you endured the storm, you survived the dark relationship. Remember what you’ve gone through, then look to see where you are headed. Love and Accept Yourself Unconditional love means you love yourself no matter what. It means you have unconditional worth. Love yourself without judgment. To love yourself is to be with yourself through the hard times. The love deep inside awaits you to come home. It is your palace of refuge, a place that knows no bounds, other than to receive you in [...]
What are your values? Down through the ages, many have said honesty, loyalty, justice, fairness, mercy, and bravery. I concur, however I believe that in this new decade we need not to forget the value of love. That raises some important questions. Is love a value? Does love belong in the same category as these other values? A value is a characteristic of merit to which we can live by. So, can we live by love? “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.” — Lao Tzu Based on the current events that are happening in the world, like me, you probably also feel like the future is uncertain and that the world is quickly turning into a very sad place. With rumors of war, hate, and unfairness happening, we feel powerless sometimes not knowing what to do to help stop these things from coming to pass in the scary world that we live in. However, I believe we as humans have forgotten that one thing that can heal the brokenness of this world, love. Love is the value that makes our relationships better. Love means I can be kind, caring, and understanding. Spreading love in your own way will get us one step closer to unity throughout mankind. It would make it a more positive and livable place for our children. It doesn’t have to be too great or too big, it can be as small as expressing gratitude to your friends and family, or helping out a stranger whenever they need a helping hand. Donate your clothes you no longer wear. Say “thank you” more. Make an extra lunch for a homeless person. In conclusion, in today’s society we are overloaded with messages that admonish us to put “me” first. As a consequence, we forget that the point of having the value of love is to spread it to others. When you spread the love, the love comes back to you many times over through loving relationships. If we can all come together and do our small part each day in spreading the value of love, we can leave this world knowing that we have created a positive place for our children to enjoy without any fear or sadness. So, can we live by love? I say, YES, WE CAN!
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”. What can you say about yourself? The way we speak to ourselves internally makes a large distinction in how we live. There is a plethora of things that you can say to yourself each day to be able to make better decisions and improve your mood. So, re-wire your brain and be more confident. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." – Mae West If you say positive things, it makes way for a positive boost in the mood and gets you in the groove! Remember you are what you say you are! Here are 15 Positive Things to Say to Yourself Daily The world has a need for me. I am smart. I love myself for who I am. I am beautiful inside and out. My life matters. My opinions matter. I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Being me is enough. I love my body. I am vauled. I am talented. I am so blessed. I am a winner. I fear nothing. I am loved. Remember you are what you say you are!
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”. Are you ready to love yourself? If you can't love yourself, you're going to have a hard time truly loving the world around you and enjoying the life you're living. Are you ready to take responsibility for your experience and begin to lead a happy, full life? Here are 4 important ways that can help you love yourself! 1. Eliminate Negative Self-Talk - Utilize the Power of Positive Talk Negative self-talk limits you, increases stress, and hurts your self-concept. Here’s a tip, as you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind. You can stop your thought mid-stream by saying to yourself, “Stop.” Saying this aloud will be more powerful, and having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts. Replace it with Positive Affirmations like: I ENJOY THE VARIETY OF LIFE. I SEE AND VALUE MY UNIQUENESS. I AM EASY ON MYSELF. I KNOW I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN. I GO FOR THAT WHICH MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. I FEEL ALIVE. I AM CREATING A GOOD LIFE FOR MYSELF. I LOVE WHERE I COME FROM. I LOVE WHERE I AM. I LOVE WHERE I AM GOING. I AM HAPPY TO BE ME. I AM TOTALLY FREE. If you are ready to change your life then you must first change the way you talk to yourself. 2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Focus on You If you struggle with issues of self-esteem and insecurity, the worst possible thing you can do to yourself is to compare yourself to someone else. There is a plethora of ways to compare yourself to others, and all of them lead to feeling bad about yourself: grades, sports, job title, income, career advancement, social media followers, etc. When you compare yourself to others, the worst thing you can do is bank on your limitations. People often concentrate on what they’re not good at and they spend their time wishing they could be better. “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton Compare yourself to your goals. Compare yourself to your values. Compare yourself to where you were. Just leave other people out of the comparisons and you’ll do fine. “Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” - John Spence 3. Distance Yourself from Those Who Bring You Down - Toxic People Toxic people aren’t actually interested in you and your life. Being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one. Don’t worry too much about folks who don’t worry about you. Know your worth! When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose. Toxic folks will insult you, humiliate you, give you backhanded compliments, and make you feel like you deserve this crappy relationship. Get rid of them before [...]
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”. Are you bored? Or more specifically, is your life boring? Do you feel stuck in your life? Is it hard for you to actually have fun? Don’t worry because I know how you feel. It seems we do the same things every day. So, for most of us, life is busy. However, we’re certain that there are times when we’re stuck at home, bored. We’ve all been there, when all our work is finished, or maybe everyone’s away and you’re home alone and bored. Today, let’s do something new and different. I would like to share with you 10 things to do when life gets bored. Go on a walk/run. Challenge yourself to leave your cell phone in your purse or pocket. Admire the view. Create a Vision Board. (Write down 5 things that you want to accomplish by next month.) Strengthen your brain (Read/Listen to books.) Become a member of a fitness gym. Provide service to others. (Help someone in your community.) Host a game night. (Invite your friends over for a fun night of board games.) Clean out your closet. (Make a trash pile, a donate pile, and a keep pile.) Challenge yourself. (Set some goals for yourself that you never really thought of achieving and set out to accomplish them.) Get out of the house and meet new people. (One of the absolute best ways to rid yourself of boredom is through stimulating conversation.) Cook for fun. (If you don't really consider yourself a baker, look online for some beginner recipes and you will surely find something easy and delicious.) “Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." – Dale Carnegie The world and life – both are small. Go and enjoy every bit of it. Don’t miss the good things in life, worrying about the undesired. Stop being bored, and start being creative. When life is boring, I hope you'll use these ideas to help you get out of any slump. #AlrightNow #BreakOut
“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.” Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? Imagine if next time you took out the garbage, rather than carry it outside to the bin, you develop a habit to empty the smelly, disgusting contents all over your yard. Funny right! But this is exactly what some of us do with our mind. We have a habit each year to dump unnecessary stuff or trash in our mind. We refuse to put the trashy thoughts in their rightful place, “out of our mind”. Our thoughts drive our emotions, which drive our behaviors, and ultimately determine our actions — what kind of life we live. The human mind is an amazing creation of God. Nothing on earth can match its capabilities or creativity. It controls feelings, thoughts, words, attitudes, and behavior. Do you know that we are what we believe we are? Someone once said, “It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you if you allow it.” Dr. Caroline Leaf says this in her book Switch On Your Brain, “As we think, we change the physical nature of our brain. As we consciously direct our thinking, we can wire out toxic patterns of thinking and replace them with healthy thoughts.” “2019 Rule Your Mind” In 2019 push out toxic thinking and replace it with positive thoughts. Let’s start the beginning of the year by taking authority over our thoughts. Get to the mirror and say, “I’m not afraid anymore, whatever it is I’ve been running from, whatever situation that’s been holding me back, pulling me back from my blessing. Today I’m getting ready to fight this thing to the end. I’m getting my mind back on track. Yes, my checkbook may not say I’m rich. The economy doesn’t say I’m wealthy. The medical report doesn’t say I’m healed. But God of universe, I believe you will supply all of my needs. I believe for some unexpected money to appear in my life. God, I believe that I’m healed. I believe an unexpected healing will occur in my life. God, I believe you’ll give me my heart’s desire. I believe my dream will happen sooner than later.” Look folks, you have to believe it before you’ll ever see it. Something has to change within your mind. Something has to change psychologically. Take authority over your mind, remind yourself not to focus on the negativity, and instead, try to focus on something positive. Control your thoughts before they control you. By controlling your thoughts, you are in control of your mind. Wow! By letting go, you can actually control your mind instead of having your mind control you. Lastly, there are 3 things you can do this year to keep your mind under your rulership. Keep Positive Company If you can't get troublesome feelings out of your mind, it may [...]
Learn How Saying No Can Be Liberating! “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”. Is your need to please everyone getting in the way of your happiness? Exhausted. Empty. Enslaved. Do those words describe you? We have probably said “YES” more than enough times and it has caused us stress. Why is it that one of the most common words in the English language is so difficult to say? I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, there are lots of reasons I have a hard time with that one simple word. I want to please people. I don’t want to be mean or unhelpful. I don’t want to burn a bridge or miss an opportunity or miss out on something fun. I don’t want people to be mad or upset with me or to speak poorly of me. So sometimes I’ll say “Yes” to avoid that feeling. Hmmm….. Does that sound like some of you? Why don’t we say “no?” We don’t have the guts to do it. We don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers. We’re afraid people will think that we’re not committed. We’re concerned that people will think we’re not team players. We’re concerned that people will think we are unwilling to sacrifice. And so, time and time again, we say yes when we shouldn’t. Often at the expense of something else. Does this sound like you? A yes comes out of your mouth before you have the chance to stop it and you are agreeing to something you don’t want to do. Believe it or not, saying yes to everything is also an addiction. Often times, our guilt, fear and anxiety rule our minds when we say no. Read this carefully Alrighters: Don’t feel the need to feel guilty about your decision. This will only promote anxiety and unwanted stress. Be confident when you say “NO.” Don’t always see saying “no” as letting down another person. See it as an opportunity to do something to make yourself happy and focus on your wants and needs. So, say goodbye to being a people pleaser and learn how to confidently say no to someone without feeling bad about it. Get rid of those who use you or take advantage of you. They never call you or think of you unless they need something from you – and they’re really good at persuading you to give in to them. There’s another word for that kind of persuasion: it’s called mass manipulation. Do you feel like you’ve been manipulated, taking advantage of? If so, it’s time to WIN back your life! “It’s only by saying “no” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY “NO” Never dwell on what people think about your decision. Walk away with peace of mind. Let it go! YOU DON’T NEED TO [...]