About Radical Dating

Radical Dating is a revolutionary approach to dating involving a specific mindset, dating strategies, self-discovery, life choices, understanding of relationships and the basic skills needed for successful dating and relationships.

Ep. 10 Where Are They Now?

Thanks for joining us! This is the final episode in our 10-part docu-series. Who made it through? Who found love? Who found themselves? What did you learn? Did you register for all the show bonuses? Please comment and share our videos, we want to hear from you! CLICK HERE TO ACCESS FREE RADICAL DATING BONUS RESOURCES For our viewers: Radical Dating client Wendy Yost shares about her experience being on the show: When I was selected as one of the five cast members for Radical Dating: Finding Lasting Love After 40 I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew that I was single, and I knew that I was ready to not be. And, while I was excited, I was also apprehensive, especially given that most reality shows that involve dating and relationships are focused on scarcity thinking, contrived competition and intentionally pitting people against each other, three things I actively avoid. Thankfully, Radical Dating was none of those things. Instead, it was a golden opportunity to take a look at what was keeping me and the other four clients single and what to do about it with the help of dedicated coaches, a weekly parade of guest experts and the wise and caring support of the show’s creators, Betsy Chasse and David Steele. After the final cast of clients was selected, we participated in a “Speed Matching” exercise (like speed dating) with each of the five coaches who were working on the show, all from the Relationship Coaching Institute (RCI). I learned something from every exchange I had, and yet when asked to provide my top two choices of coaches, I was quick to share my excitement over the possibility of working with Lori Ann Davis, given her understanding of masculine and feminine dynamics and her palpable sense of spirituality. As fate would have it, we were each other’s first choice and got to work with each other on camera and off for the duration of the show’s filming. Over the course of our time together we surfaced a number of Limiting Beliefs that were getting in the way of my having the lasting love I so desire. Initially, when the coaches and experts would talk about Limiting Beliefs I had several moments of “Been there, done that’, discounting what was being made available. I thought to myself as we filmed, this is good stuff, and it’s territory I covered a decade ago. What took a while for me to warm up to was that I was still being challenged by Limiting Beliefs, they just didn’t look like they did when I first started learning about them. So I had to eat some Humble Pie and realize that while I had done a lot of personal growth and spiritual work, there were nuances of basic principles that I could still gain greatly from. Through my work with Lori, we were able to use what I already knew as a solid foundation for our [...]

2020-10-05T17:17:36-07:00By |

Ep. 9 Money and Sex?! Taboo or not?

Money and Sex can be awkward to talk about with potential partners. In this episode Scott talks about sex with a guest expert in gay relationships and a financial advisor helps our clients address the role of money in Radical Dating. For our viewers from financial advisor Deborah Peterson- Money and Radical Dating Love and Money? Love or Money? Love for Money? How do you feel about money? That is a truly important question. Not because I’m trying to determine if you’re shallow, that’s often the conclusion most people jump to when Money is brought up. But for most men and women, when it comes to relationship requirements, needs and wants, money is actually very important. Most daters want their potential partners financial status to be… “Financially stable”. This is a reasonable request and yet for many, this makes us feel guilty, selfish, shallow, and well… icky. The truth is, you should be able to talk about money. It’s healthy, mature and grounded to be able to be clear about what your financial status is and what you desire in a partner. That is step 1 in being ready to be a Radical Dater. If you able to be honest about where you are financially, it’s likely you are able to deal with it in a way that creates opportunity for growth. Awareness is key in so much of what it takes to be ready for true, lasting love and money is a key part of that conversation. Ask yourself – What is my money personality? Spender Saver Shopper Debtor Investor Planner Avoider And what do you require in a partner? Now that you are clear about who you are and what you want, how do you create that? It’s all about your willingness and ability to communicate, listen, ask questions and be willing to step outside of your fear that these questions or concerns label you as anything other than someone who is conscious and intent full. You don’t have to grill someone, and you don’t need to ask for their credit store, (At least not right away). If you’re getting serious with someone, planning to move in together, or even get married, then guess what, having a clear understanding of their financial situation is key to creating a happy, successful relationship. On a first or second date ask questions, such as, do you like to travel, what do you love to do in your spare time, what’s your favorite hobby, you can learn a lot about a person, and not just what they love to do, but you can determine their money personality. If you’re bold enough, ask them! If, in fact. you’re not just out to find a rich man or woman, but your intention is clarity, then asking bold questions, honest questions, in hopes of helping you decide, “Is this the person for me”, is an important step in your own evolution. Our fear of talking about money [...]

2020-10-05T17:30:34-07:00By |

Ep. 8 Barriers and Breakthroughs

Any big goal will be a marathon requiring stamina and commitment. In this episode one client experiences a barrier and decides to drop out while hope reigns supreme for our remaining clients as they continue with the highs and lows, struggles and successes of their Radical Dating journey to find lasting love. For our viewers from Michelle’s coach Sheryl Spangler: Radical Dating’s Top Seven Barriers to Success What do you want? How badly do you want it? What are you willing to do to get it? These are 3 classic coaching questions. As coaches we help clients set goals and together we plan a strategy to reach them. Once the plan is set, we hold the clients accountable to do what they say they want to do, while supporting them and cheering their victories large and small. A very wise coach said, “We all know what we need to do; we just have trouble doing it.” Coaches support clients to move past the fear and discomfort and do what they know they need to do to achieve their goals. Radical Dating is about breaking through barriers to find lasting love. Those barriers are there for a reason, they protect you and keep you feeling safe in your comfort zone, but they also keep you stuck. So, radical change is needed if one is to break the patterns or beliefs that no longer serve you. Change is uncomfortable and feels risky. We will only move forward when we truly believe that the discomfort in making a change will get us to where we want to be. Therefore, if we want to reach our goal badly enough, the discomfort is worth it. One of my clients recently told me that she knew “certain things” would come up in our conversations and so she hesitated to work with a coach in the past. However, she now feels ready to explore and work through those “things” so she can get them out of her way and reach her relationship goal of finding lasting love. Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) lives in the dark and once it comes to light, often it can easily be dismissed. As coaches we help our clients shine light on their fears and move beyond them. So why are some people successful and others not? Top Seven Barriers to Success 1) Fear of the unknown. There are no guarantees. We will only take active steps towards the unknown if we genuinely believe that the risks or discomfort of standing still are greater than moving forward in a new direction. Successful people “feel the fear and do it anyway,” and embrace the unknown as part of the journey. 2) Lack of trust in ourselves.  Deep down some part of our self holds back because of old messages and programming that cause us to feel inadequate and unworthy of love, success, happiness and fulfillment. Successful people choose to trust themselves and believe they are worthy of success. 3) We [...]

2020-10-05T17:37:00-07:00By |

Ep. 7 Letting Love In

What happens when you take the leap and put yourself out there? The risks, challenges, fears, and barriers are getting very real for our 5 intrepid singles and they all respond differently to what they see when they look in the mirror. In this episode we bring in two guest experts to help our clients overcome their barriers to love (we all have them!), and the result is ground-breaking and inspirational thanks to emotional freedom experts Michelle Bersell and Debra Stangl For our viewers from Debra Stangl, Founder of Sedona Soul Adventures Tapping Out Your Blocks to Let Love In Hey, it might look weird, but it works! Tapping is a simple but powerful emotional freedom technique that has been around for many, many years and in this episode I teach it to the entire group and then use it with two volunteers on camera to help move them through their negative beliefs of “I’m not enough” and “there’s something wrong with me”. What is tapping? It is the very simple process of tapping with your fingers on different parts of your body. Different people will give you different explanations about why tapping works. I believe that it is related to the energetic meridians that flow through our bodies. This knowledge has been used for thousands of years in Chinese medicine. When you tap, stuck energy starts to move. The tapping process was developed by an American psychotherapist who had studied acupuncture. He encouraged his patients to tap different acupuncture points with astounding results in alleviating fears and phobias. Tapping has now been used for a variety of different issues, including weight loss, anxiety, depression, and even finding the relationship of your dreams. Many of the problems that most of us experience are the result of limiting beliefs that we continue to hold onto. When we believe we’re not good enough or there’s something wrong with us, it makes life pretty difficult, whether we’re talking about finding a wonderful relationship, getting a great job or achieving financial abundance. By identifying the limiting belief and then tapping through it on the different meridian points, stuck energy can be moved. There is a short form and a long form of Tapping and I used both with the group. First I taught the group the short form of tapping, where you tap on the karate chop point (see illustration below) three times each day (morning, noon and night), saying “I deeply and profoundly love, accept and respect myself just the way I am” three times. Because you’re tapping on a powerful meridian point, that message goes in on a subconscious level. I then asked the group what were some of the beliefs they had that they thought were holding them back from finding real and lasting love. Scott volunteered and I started asking him questions about his past relationships, which quickly led to him talking about his relationship with his mother and the hurts that were still there from that. [...]

2020-10-05T17:31:00-07:00By |

Ep. 6 Chemistry, Sex, and Red Flags

In this episode our singles are going on real dates with real potential partners. So what happens next? Chemistry, Sex, and Red Flags. This is the most exciting and hardest part of dating. Hot or Not? Yes or No? Should I or Shouldn’t I? Right or Wrong? Is this THE ONE? So many questions and no easy answers. If only there was a checklist to help singles answer these hard questions, like a Dating Red Flags Checklist… WAIT, there is such a checklist! Download your FREE Dating Red Flags Checklist here! For our viewers from Wendy’s coach Lori Davis: Chemistry and Radical Dating What is chemistry and how important is it in dating? Chemistry means different things to different people. There is not one description that fits all. It can be described as a spark, that feeling, an instant connection. Because it is such a vague concept, there are a lot of myths around it. Is it necessary to have chemistry on the first date? If you have chemistry, does that mean it is the right person for you? Can chemistry build over time? Chemistry really is just a mix of hormones and an emotional connection. It is not necessarily an indicator of an ideal partner and yes it can build over time. We often have a strong physical or emotional reaction to another person. It is that romantic love stage. It is that feeling of not being able to stop thinking of the other person. You can’t wait to see each other again, you want to look your best, and your heart skips a beat when they text or call. It feels wonderful, exciting, and fun. You have all those “feel good” hormones racing through your body. You see only the best in the other person. You want to spend as much time together as possible. Sometimes this happens on the first date and it can be interpreted as “love at first sight”. You might think the relationship is meant to be. Or, you might meet someone and not feel those things but you have a lot in common. They are nice looking, you enjoy the conversation, they seem like a nice person, and they are interested in seeing you again. What do you do? I talk to singles every day who think that if there is no instant attraction, spark, or connection, this means it is not the right match and they move on. For a moment let’s take a closer look at this concept. If you rely on instant attraction, what you are doing is falling for someone before you really know them and assuming that you cannot become attracted to someone that you grow to know. You are really saying you can fall for an assumption but not reality. When you experience that instant attraction, the next thing you do is get to know the person. If you are attached to this initial judgment of this being “the one”, what happens when you [...]

2020-10-05T17:31:46-07:00By |

Ep. 5 Online Dating

Episode 5 is about Radical Online Dating, leveraging the internet to find the love of your life. In this episode our clients are navigating the daunting world of online dating with the help of guest experts David and Dr. Samari Rios-Majka of samajikconnections.com For our viewers from Michelle’s coach Sheryl Spangler: TOP TEN TIPS for RADICAL ONLINE DATING When I ask my clients if they have ever tried online dating, I generally first hear a groan and then something like, “that doesn’t work” or “I don’t want to put my information out there”. I smile as I listen to their experiences and tell them there is a method to the online dating madness. I then ask them if they’d be open to trying again with the help/guidance of a professional and most times they agree. Online dating sites and apps are what I call “target rich environments”. Further, according to the latest statistics, approximately 20% of committed relationships and 17% of marriages began online. I believe online dating should be part of every singles’ dating strategy. Here are my Top Ten Tips for Radical Online Dating: 1) Write a short, upbeat profile describing who you are and who you’re looking for. The key words here are “upbeat and short”. No one wants to read a long profile so write just enough to attract interest and make the reader want to know more. To get you started, think of 5-7 words that describe you and work those into the headline and profile narrative. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about your own likes and dislikes and what you’re looking for in a partner. Update your profile regularly with any changes or additions   2) Post 4-6 recent (within a year) flattering photos. If you don’t have any recent photos, consider having some professional lifestyle photos taken. If that isn’t possible, then ask a friend to take some. Find an attractive park with a number of appealing backdrops. If you’re active, consider posing for an action shot, i.e. swinging a golf club. Include at least one full length photo and be sure to include captions of when the photos were taken. Include where the photos were taken if the location is interesting.   3) Define and set up search criteria and run search. Be as open as you can so that your search returns enough results. 200-300 prospects is a good number to aim for. You want enough prospects so that after sorting, you can find 3-5/day to write. Be curious and enjoy getting to know people. In other words, embrace the adventure that is online dating. Expand your physical preferences to see what is possible.   4) Persistent, consistent activity is a must if you want to be successful online. Try to spend 30 minutes a day online. Set aside a regular period of time to check your email, run your search and read and respond to profiles that you like. Be the chooser. Online dating [...]

2020-10-05T17:42:49-07:00By |

Ep. 4 The Masculine and The Feminine

Is your sexual energy Masculine or Feminine? (you might be surprised at the answer when you answer the 4-question Sexual Essence Quiz below) Episode 4 is about the role of chemistry and sexual attraction in dating and relationships. In this fascinating episode, Radical Dating guest expert Joanna Shakti guides our clients to identify and embrace their masculine or feminine sexual essence as they prepare to find the love of their life. “Masculine or feminine sexual essence” does NOT refer to your gender, it’s about your sexual energy. To our viewers from Joanna Shakti of Ecstatic Intimacy: The first seconds of a connection set the stage for all your future passion… and it has much less to do with your pheromones than you might imagine. An unseen, yet totally felt, energy speaks volumes between lovers or potential lovers. The Taoist’s call it yin and yang. Others call it masculine-feminine energy. Whatever you call it, whether you’re consciously aware of it or not, the presence and polarity (or lack thereof) defines how hot your future lovemaking will be. It tells a future story of how happy and in love you’ll stay as the days and years go by. And, yes, the stage is set for that in the initial seconds of interaction. Some dating coaches will say that the energy dynamic of the relationship forms based on who speaks the first word. In my experience it happens before you have a chance to speak the first word. It has everything to do with who winks, writes, approaches, and speaks. From there, it has everything to do with who asks who out, who touches who first, who calls, who kisses, and so on. Let me explain. Yin and yang, masculine and feminine, are energies that express themselves in every human body. It doesn’t matter the gender or the orientation of the body, these two energies exist in cooperation with each other. Then, simply, when you put two bodies together, these energies interact and sparks will fly, or they won’t. These energies act just like magnets. When you bring the positive side of one magnet together with the negative side of another magnet (the opposite sides), they come together and they stick. And, it actually takes a little force to pull them apart once they are connected. Yet, if you flip one of those magnets, so that the same sides are near each other, you can’t even get them to connect. They repel each other… quickly and powerfully. The same thing happens with masculine and feminine energy in our dating and relating! So, what is masculine and what is feminine? Masculine energy is focused, directed, erect, penetrating, assertive, results-oriented. Masculine energy comes off the body with a forward momentum. In contrast, feminine energy is soft, flowing, creative, receptive, surrendered and expressive. Feminine energy is expansive and embracing, while being concave in a receptive way. Here’s the biggest problem with masculine and feminine energy. Although most of us understand the terms, [...]

2020-10-05T17:32:21-07:00By |

Ep. 3 The Law of Attraction

Episode 3 is about leveraging the Law of Attraction to identify and find the love of your life. How? By clarifying your Vision for your life, identifying your Requirements, Needs, and Wants, and committing to them 100%. It’s simple, but not easy, which is why our show is called “Radical Dating.” In this inspirational episode you clearly see our clients getting excited when talking about what they want, and their fear and resistance when they go on a “field trip” to put themselves out there in the real world. The Law of Attraction simply means “like attracts like.” Another way to look at it is “be who you want to attract”. It is a straightforward concept to grasp, but it requires practice to consistently attract what you want in any area of your life. You can accelerate the process of attracting your love match by applying the Law of Attraction to your search. Once you are aware of this universal law and how it works, you can start to use it deliberately to attract what you want into your life, including the relationship of your dreams. The Law of Attraction is working in your life right now, whether you are aware of it or not. You are attracting the very people, situations, jobs and much more that are presently in your life. And, your current thoughts are attracting what and who will be in your life in the future. Thoughts can be traced back to beliefs. Your beliefs create your thoughts which lead to your words and actions. If you don’t like your results, look at your actions and track back. Chances are you will find that you hold a belief that is not serving you. Here’s an example. A female single has a belief that online dating doesn’t work. However, friends persuade her to try it. She really doesn’t want to but eventually agrees. Because she doesn’t believe it will work, she doesn’t spend much time or effort on her profile or select recent flattering pictures. She writes a few people without response and notes that the only men writing her are “losers” or “scammers”. After a short time, she stops and tells her friends, “See, I told you it wouldn’t work!” She got exactly the results she believed she would. The good news is we can change our thoughts any time we want. Another female single has friends who have met great guys online. She even knew a couple who met online and got married. When she heard their stories, she couldn’t wait to try online dating. She worked hard on her profile making it fun and positive, selected some recent, great pictures and began the process. Soon, her in box was filling up with messages and she received responses to some messages that she sent. Soon she was dating, meeting great guys and enjoying the process. To develop a positive attitude that will help you to change your negative thoughts, try spending some time writing out [...]

2020-10-05T17:32:40-07:00By |

Ep. 2 Getting Naked

Episode 2 is about “Getting Naked” by identifying what makes you special, what holds you back, and what and how much of yourself to share when you’re dating. Are you ready to get NAKED? Not THAT kind of NAKED! As in, being vulnerable, authentic and honest to find the perfect match for you. Dr. Patrick Williams – Author of Getting Naked joins our cast to teach them how and when to get real and vulnerable when dating. To our viewers from Dr. Pat: As a guest expert for Radical Dating I emphasized the importance of honest self-disclosure in dating based on my newest book: Getting Naked: On Emotional Transparency at the Right Time, Right Place, and with the Right Person My message was to share with those looking for lasting love after age 40, that courageous vulnerability was a must. Why waste time being someone that is not really you? As Oscar Wilde said, “You might as well be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Intimacy is ultimately about nakedness. We don’t want to be emotionally naked without careful discrimination any more than we would want to be physically naked in an unsafe environment or relationship. Self-protection is a very human instinct, one at which we are universally proficient. Yet when you can be intimate with a trusted other, there is no need for a disguise. One of the most important reasons I wrote this book is because I am fascinated by how we become more whole by finding ways to be naked emotionally with trusted people in safe places. Becoming whole implies becoming more of who you are meant to be, more unapologetically yourself. And becoming whole is inextricably twined with being fully seen by another. There has to be a witness. You can be physically naked by yourself, but being emotionally naked alone serves no purpose, no true revealing. It must be a relational experience with a trusted other. Breaking Out of Your Self-imposed Prison You have created your own prison from time to time in life. You may have things you are afraid to share that may be shaming, hurtful, or just plain uncomfortable. But you also have some beautiful and unique desires that you may have kept under lock and key, and that is a huge obstacle to finding a loving relationship. It is important and necessary is to have a safe place to be when needed, but that does not have to feel like prison. You will learn in this chapter how to express any unshared parts of your life and how to experience living on purpose when it leads to emotional freedom and a more fulfilling and complete human experience. I believe that my profession of personal coaching arose in the latter part of the twentieth century and is flourishing today for two main reasons: Humans have a lack of connection to others and purpose. Many of us have acquaintances and friends, but we don’t really feel connected to meaning and purpose. There is a shortage of listening. We [...]

2020-10-05T17:33:28-07:00By |

Ep 1. Meet the Cast

Are you single and over 40? Are you ready for lasting love? Join us for a 10 week series as we follow 5 singles as they embark on a journey to find love. About two years ago, I was approached to do a reality TV show about single moms dating. They came to my house and filmed me for the day, asking me about all my glamorous dates, boyfriends, trips to exotic places, ya know, all the stuff everyday single moms get to do… Clearly, I was boring. That show never made it beyond the pilot. I realized it was because it was utter nonsense. Let’s be real! In reality, most single moms over 40 are not living the glamorous, jet-setting, out every night at parties lifestyle that the show wanted to convey. I’m actually glad it didn’t make it. We have enough reminders in the media that we aren’t living up to the standards society has set for us. All that got me thinking about singles in America. Not just single parents, but singles over 40. Divorce rates are high, people are waiting to get married, and dating and relationships have changed a lot since my first date as a teen — and even more as I lived in marital bliss in my 30s. Until of course, that bliss ended and I found myself single and trying to navigate online dating sites, singles events, and really horrible pick-up lines at the grocery store. Those lines would have probably worked on my 20-year-old single self, but the 40-year-old was a lot more cynical, jaded, and busy to deal with a man’s lack of creativity. I went on some horrible dates with probably great men who were definitely not right for me. The idea that I should just “wait for the magic to happen” didn’t fit in with the fact that I wasn’t 20 anymore. Did I have time to “let it happen?” Should I be proactive in my search? How the heck would I do that? After a wonderful dinner party with fifteen of my female friends, all of us single and over 40, I wondered “What’s wrong with us?!” We’re all smart, successful, good-looking, funny... everything a good man could ask for, and yet here we are on a Friday night, hanging out with each other. Why is more than 30 percent of the US population single and over 40? That is a shocking number. There are more singles over 40 now than there have ever been. As I queried my merry band of femme fatales, I got similar answers. “The good ones are taken.” “I’m too old.” “I have to lower my standards.” Was this true? Had I passed my prime? Was I destined to be single for the rest of my life? That was depressing. I like men; I desire companionship and romance and love. That part of me wasn’t quite complete and wasn’t willing to surrender to Friday night wine with the girls, Saturday movie nights, and Sunday walks on [...]

2020-10-05T17:41:51-07:00By |