In a world where social media, entertainment, technology, and other outside influences can guide our children’s thoughts and behavior, how do we raise confident kids? Parenting is no longer just about providing the basic needs of food and shelter, it’s is about protecting our children and teaching them the skills to navigate the world with strength.

Children are susceptible to unprecedented levels of stress due to fear instilled by the politics of the day. Fear induces physical and psychological strains on children that undermine their ability to act with compassion and strength. I have two teenagers about to leave the nest and want them to be mentally and physically strong in the midst of this very chaotic world so that they can lead successful lives both professionally and personally.

Here are some tips to help you raise confident kids:

 

Exercise Discretion

Kids don’t need to know everything. Whether you’re stressed about finances, the threat of nuclear war, or why they don’t have a date to the school dance, keep it to yourself. Also, be mindful of the conversations you have when they’re around. Even if you’re complaining to your best girlfriend about your mate, don’t have this conversation within the vicinity of your children. Conflict creates a negative energy that adults are better skilled to process. You made need to vent, don’t pollute your child’s air.

Too Blessed to Be Stressed

You don’t just want things to be okay, you want THEM to be okay, even if some things aren’t. You may not live in the best neighborhood, but there may be a network of friendly neighbors you may not get in a wealthy suburb. If the cable goes out, keep the TV on and enjoy the broadcast network programming you get for free. If they don’t get invited to a party, make sure there’s something fun for them to do instead. If they feel good about themselves and their circumstances at home, it will be harder for anything or anyone to make them feel different when they’re out.

Social Media & Entertainment

Although you may want to maintain your child’s privacy in terms of their social media accounts, be aware of who they follow, the music they listen to, the shows they watch, and the information that they are receiving. If you see something troubling don’t denounce, discuss. Family time doesn’t always have to be for a movie night or your favorite sitcom. Watch the news or a documentary together so you can discover and deal with some of the issues of the world together.

Live Your Best Life

You know when you’re on an airplane and the security message tells you to put on your oxygen mask first, then assist your child. As parents we have to be in a GOOD place ourselves in order to dish out advice to our children. We serve our children best by serving ourselves and being the BEST US! When we are tired, fatigued, stressed, undernourished, fearful, then these traits are passed along to our children because they often emulate parental behavior. Happy parents raise happy children.

Some Much Needed Downtime

Children need to be well-rested and not over-scheduled. We see adolescence as the easy years, it does come with responsibilities. School, homework, sports, clubs, chores, part-time jobs, can be a lot on a child. Make sure they have some down-time. Down time shouldn’t just be bedtime. It’s okay to “veg,” binge a television series, play video games, or surf the web or talk on the phone. We don’t want to be “on” all the time. Don’t demand that of your child.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The lines of communication must remain open. Although you are the parent and the authority figure, make sure there is time where your child feels free to express themselves without you acting as judge and jury. You may not agree with your child, but try your best to understand where they are coming from. It doesn’t matter if you and your child have opposing views, as long as they are well-informed and make a thoughtful analysis of the situation. If they feel accepted at home, they will carry that comfort level into school and their social lives. And if a change needs to be made, it is much more feasible if the lines of communication remain open.

Practice What You Preach

They key is in setting the example for them. Be a teacher who walks the walk. Practice what you preach. If you want to preach strength to your children, then act from a position of strength. Be that person you wish your children to be. They will believe what you say if they see it coming from a parent who handles problems from a position of calmness, positivity, optimism, and kindness rather than a parent who doesn’t take care of themselves and acts from a position of fear, panic, and anger.