I am a single mom of two, an author, a filmmaker, I blog for multiple magazines and I manage to get laid on a regular basis and find time to take naps, and many people ask me
“How the heck do you do all that?”
It’s a really great question… how do we live our lives to the fullest, with meaning and purpose, feeling pretty good about it all?
The honest answer is, I don’t, not the way one might think about always feeling good, having a shower everyvday and getting it “all”done. After being asked this question so often I decided to really look at why it is, that even when it sucks, I feel a deep sense of happiness about my life and it came down to 3 things.
Gratitude: I am truly grateful for my life, even when I went on food stamps, wasn’t sure if the electricity would be on, wondered if I would ever find love and the first time my pre-teen said “I hate you”. I would still take time every day, usually in the morning, before I fully awoke to the realities of life, to say thank you. Because I have realized that life is a tremendous gift, an adventure I get to go on every day and that is amazing. I am in awe every day at the little things, for instance today my cat Ollie took a flying leap at a butterfly and landed full belly flop into the bushes and it was epic, he seemingly flew 20 feet across the yard and if I hadn’t just taken a moment to look up from all the “things” I had to do, I would have missed out on a profoundly fulfilling guffaw. That is what life is about, when you’re stuck in the quagmire, to look up in awe.
Step 1- find awe every day, find it multiple times a day- make it a practice to find something as often as possible that makes you step back and say wow.
Let go of Control: OMG we LOVE LOVE LOVE to control things, especially as Mothers, Jeez Louise it’s the only way we’ll actually survive… Right?!! Well the truth is, it isn’t. Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to control something, the more that booger wiggles more than your two-year-old while you’re trying to get their PJ’s on! There is a big difference between organization and planning and control, know the difference.
Step 2– Research, Plan and organize what you need to do to accomplish your goal and then let go and allow, be flexible. Remember, the only thing you can actually control is your perspective and attitude.
Let Go of the Outcome: Of course, when you have a dream or desire you want it to happen, otherwise it wouldn’t be a dream or desire! After 46 years I’ve come to learn that the outcome often comes, but not in the way I imagined it. The more I am present to the experience I am having creating the outcome than focusing on the future outcome, the more my life is filled with joy, abundance, love and adventure! Life isn’t about outcomes, it’s about experiences and when I think about what kind of experience I’d like to have and create that, the more my desired outcomes come to pass!
Step 3– Enjoy the process, the present. Create your life with a sense of play and adventure and remember – everything is going to be ok!
Betsy Chasse is a mom to Max and Elora, Co-Founder of Meaningful Mom, an award winning filmmaker (What The Bleep Do We Know?!, Song of the New Earth) and best selling author of multiple books including Tipping Sacred Cows and It Came Out Of My Vagina, Now What?, you can find out more about her at www.betsychasse.net
I was asked to give a talk at a conference last year about this very subject. I hope you enjoy it!
Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/2m8MMnmYnGk
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