It can be said dating is a way to figure out all the things you don’t want in a partner. And if you want to find the right person, that’s exactly what you need to do. However, it’s equally important to know yourself because that’s the only way you will truly know if they’re ‘right’ for you. Read on for some sure-fire tips to finding, and choosing, the right person for you.
Is it lust or love?
First and foremost, you need to work out whether you have a genuine connection with the person you’re seeing. If it’s based in a raw, sexual attraction that doesn’t see you guys stretch much further than the bedroom, you may be in lust. Attraction is important in a relationship, but is not what sustains one. Attraction and infatuation fade, but a real connection doesn’t.
Identify your needs
Sure, we all have a mental list of traits or attributes we want to find in a partner. Looks, money, lifestyle, and travel are all great things to have, but they aren’t wholly necessary. Living a lavish lifestyle won’t determine whether you’re treated right or are compatible with your partner. So, focus on the important things; what are their values and core beliefs? How do they think and act as a partner? How do they make you feel in the bigger picture? Working out those things are the best indication of whether this is someone you can build a future with.
Don’t give in to fear or convenience
You should value your single-ness. We know that sounds weird. We’re telling you how to find the right person right? But go with it. When you’re happy in yourself and your life, when you meet someone, they’ll be a welcome bonus to your already full life. Choosing to be with someone out of fear or convenience because you don’t want to be alone is not the way to find the right person. It just means you’ll be with whoever happens to show you some attention. If you’re truly committed to finding the right person, you won’t settle.
Find someone you can be you around
Lastly, the right person for you is the one who you can be yourself around. And we mean truly be yourself around. Your unapologetic, unfiltered self, flaws and all. Being with someone who truly accepts you is one of the most freeing feelings in the world, and will allow you to build a solid, trusting relationship with them. And as much as you should be able to be yourself, your partner should feel equally as accepted. Being your authentic selves will allow you to make genuine connections and support each other in the best way possible.
These are just a few tips for finding the right person for you, and there are many other factors that determine your choice of partner. But as long as you trust your intuition, be positive, and be yourself, you can find someone who is right for you.
About the Author
Henna Amin is an experienced writer for Miingle , Bubbl and other publications. When she’s not writing for Miingle, you can find her listening (and singing) to music, working on her mindfulness and self-care practice, or blogging about everything from race and intersectional feminism to beauty and empowerment.