About Danielle LaRock

Danielle LaRock’s mission is creating a space for changemakers to be themselves and take aligned action in their business, movement, or cause. As a seasoned facilitator and coach, she believes making a difference starts with who you are. She is also the founder of Tiny Haven, a tiny house community. Meet Danielle at www.daniellelarock.com and join her free changemaker community, Project Changemaker.

What It Really Means to Be There and “Hold Space” for Someone Else

“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.” ~Maryam Hasnaa   I was sobbing quite hysterically, huddled into myself sitting on the kitchen floor. It literally felt like my life was falling apart. And so was I. I had been striving so hard to start a meaningful business that would change the world and help others, as well as heal myself from intense ongoing physical symptoms. But it seemed the harder I tried, the less things worked. My head bobbed slightly off my knees as I took ragged breaths. What the hell was wrong with me? The thought that was driving my meltdown was unintelligible in my brain, due to the crashing waves of my emotional reaction. But somehow, eventually, I found myself able to fully lift my head and stare straight on at my distorted reflection in the stainless steel door of the dishwasher. The whole while, he sat with me. My endlessly loving partner, Jonathan, held space. I remember when I first turned to a friend and said, “What does holding space really mean?” I asked with the inquisitiveness of a child, like a small human who does not yet know what a word means. Because with something like this, can any of us really find the words to accurately explain it? She used a story in an attempt to define it, “When I was really freaking out about something, I went over to my friend’s house and just let it all out. My friend was able to just listen to me and just you know… hold the space.” “Holding space” is a concept that is hard to define without using the exact same words to define it. But as she explained it to me, I realized I’ve been lucky to have many experiences of people holding space for me, and I for them. When it comes down to it, what are we really doing when we are “holding space?” The interesting thing about this term is that we aren’t actually “holding” anything. When your daughter comes home from school and wants to tell you all about her day, and you listen intently… you are holding space. When your boyfriend vents about how hard work was that day, and you give him your full attention… you are holding space. When you are flipping out over one thing or another or all the things, and someone looks at you with complete acceptance… that is holding space. When you are both recognizing what is currently is going on, and open to stepping into a new reality… that is holding space. Holding space is about being in the space.  It’s about being fully present with the experience. Holding space is viewing someone without judgment and seeing him or her through loving kindness. Holding space is recognizing that although we all may stumble, we are all also so powerful. Holding [...]

2019-10-01T17:25:07+00:00 By |
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