About Roni Davis

Roni Davis is a coach, author, speaker & podcaster who helps women rebuild trust, compassion, and connection so they can heal their relationships with food, themselves and their bodies and live the healthy, peaceful, joy-filled lives they deserve. Find her at RoniDavis.com, on her podcast at It's All In Your Head and don't miss her information-packed free ebook: ronidavis.com/whydieatthat designed to help you begin uncovering your barriers to weight loss, healthy eating and why the heck you eat so self-destructively sometimes.

If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It…

“That girl was fat, and I hate her.”   One of my clients said this the other day—about herself. Well, her little girl self. And my heart broke. One of the very first things I do with clients is encourage them to practice self-compassion and kindness—just extending themselves the same basic human compassion and kindness that they would anyone else. Very much the opposite of what most people who struggle with weight and food are used to. After all, when it comes to our weight and food, we’re programmed with messages like “You just have to want it more, be motivated, build your willpower muscle, try harder, work harder, be better…” Perhaps to some, it may sound easy or silly, and it’s hard to understand what the hell kindness and compassion have to do with weight and food struggles when we’re so programmed to believe the opposite. Just extending yourself some basic human kindness and compassion really does end up being one of the most important things to do when you’ve struggled with weight and food for a long time. It’s also the hardest, and some struggle more than others with this simple concept. Personally, I struggled hard with it when I first started trying. I hated myself. I hated and was ashamed of every single thing about me, and didn’t think I deserved any kindness or compassion. But I knew that if I ever wanted to change the way I felt about myself, I had to figure out how to find some. So, I started picturing a little girl version of myself when I felt like I needed kindness and compassion. If I couldn’t give it to myself, I’d pull up a mental image of her and direct it that way. It worked, and it’s a trick I’ve also been using with clients since. But the other day, this woman (like many others) said, “Little girl me was fat… and… I… hate her. How am I supposed to give it to her when I hate her too?” It broke my heart, but it didn’t surprise me, and as I think about it, it makes me angry. It makes me angry because this beautiful lady wasn’t born hating herself for a little belly roll. She learned to from our stupidly broken society and has carried that belief around with her every single day since. From the time we’re old enough to make any kind of sense out of the world around us, we’re taught that fat is the enemy. Mothers have been taking their kids to Weight Watchers meetings with them to get publicly shamed for the number on a scale since they were seven or eight. We’ve been warned “Better not eat that, you don’t want to get fat, do you?” as though it was a fate worse than death, while simultaneously being taught that food fixes everything. “What’s wrong honey, you’re sad? Here, have a cookie.” “Sore throat? Here, have some ice cream.” [...]

2020-03-23T19:15:07-07:00 By |