About Will Aylward

Will helps people around the world to feel more confident, calm, and fulfilled, without them having to fake it. He is the author of Becoming Unstuck: Your Step by Step Guide to Taking Charge of Your Life. Learn more at willaylward.com

How Changing My Words Changed My Life for the Better

“Our words create our world.” ~Rich Litvin I remember when I was about seven years old, shouting spitefully at my mum, ‘’I wish you were dead, I hate you!” Her jaw dropped in disbelief, and I knew my words had hurt her, which made my young heart heavy. I remember being fourteen years old asking my first crush, “H-h-hey, do you fancy going to the cinema with me this weekend? To my surprise, she said yes, which taught me there’s never any harm in asking for what you want. Later this year, I’ll be standing proudly next to my beautiful almost-wife saying the words, “I do.” With those two simple little words, I’ll convey my love and commitment to her. Words are powerful. They have the potential to hurt and destroy and to enhance and create. Since embracing this truth a few years ago, I’ve become more mindful of the words I use. That is, the words I speak and the words I think. Here are four ways I’ve changed my words and as a result changed my life.   1. Swapping “I’ll try” for “I can, and I will.” Back when I felt stuck in life, I was always trying. Trying to lose weight. Trying to get out of debt. Trying to get my life back together. It struck me that, in all the areas of my life I was trying to change, I wasn’t having much success. I then looked at an area of my life I felt fulfilled in: my social life. Partying all weekend every weekend was the perfect escapism I needed. Drinking and partying masked my anxiety, making me forget about my money woes temporarily, and gave me the self-confidence I lacked when sober. Interestingly, when friends asked me if I would be out at the weekend, I never replied, “I’ll try and make it.” No! It was always, “I’ll be there! See you in the club, the first round is on me!” Upon recognizing this pattern, I made a new rule for myself: to swap “I’ll try” with “I can or “I will.” To no surprise, I started seeing improvements in my life. By saying “I can, and I will,” I somehow felt stronger and in control of my destiny. My confidence grew too. I used to say to my gym buddy, “I’ll try to get to the gym on Thursday,” only to cancel last minute (having never really intended to go), and then beat myself up for it. Thinking in terms of “I can/I will” gently forced me to be more decisive. I would then say “I will see you there” or “I will let you know by Tuesday.” If Tuesday came around and another commitment was more of a priority, I could communicate this clearly and without feeling bad for cancelling last minute. Switching from “try” to “can/will” caused me to ask, “What do I want to be committed to?” The word “try” does still have a [...]

2019-08-23T16:03:28+00:00 By |
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