“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.


The world turns out to be more competitive than one can ever imagine. People will do anything to ensure that they emerge at the top. Some people will even go as far as sabotaging and threatening others in pursuit of self-improvement. These people are toxic, and they are never happy with one’s success despite their close relationship to the person. They may include family, friends, or mates; and they may express their dissatisfaction differently. The most important thing is how to identify them and manage them for the sake of your success and happiness.

First, we have to recognize toxic people in our lives. We should avoid most of the people who have undesirable traits or are unpleasant. For example, a manipulative boyfriend or girlfriend who compromises with your plans so that you can attend his or hers. These kinds of people would use different means to make up for their desperation.

Secondly, such people lack respect for boundaries. They would do anything that pleases them, even when it hurts you. True friendship is a two-way process. Friends that take from you and never give back when you are in need are toxic, and you should avoid them.

Thirdly, toxic people pretend to know everything. They present as a friend who thinks they are right about everything. They never acknowledge their mistakes and would even lie to get out of trouble. These people like to be viewed as victims of any problem and provide excuses and blame others for their failures.

Lastly, toxic people are lazy and lack a sense of responsibility. They are, therefore, unreliable. One should devise ways to handle such people.

I truly believe it is best to tell your toxic friends and family the truth. First, you should approach them kindly and tell them that you do not need them in your life anymore. I would prefer you not to debate with that person on the subject and suggest that you keep the conversation simple. I also suggest that you do it in a public place where their chance of raging and exposing anger are minimal.

Secondly, I propose that you cut contacts with them, which includes blocking them on social media and direct lines. This breaks any chances of them insulting or trying to reconnect with you.

Thirdly, I propose that you do not in any instance argue with the toxic person after breaking up with him/her. Toxic people are more likely to be violent, and in case of an argument, you might fall into being a victim of toxicity. I prefer that you restate your boundaries and explain nothing less. Otherwise, you could push them away and ignore them whenever they call for negotiation.

Lastly, you can write a letter to the person and express all your emotions and feelings about the relationship. The good thing about a note is that you can refer back to it to redefine your reasons.

The most basic approach to cutting out toxic family members and friends in your life is creating a distance. One should consider avoiding spending much time with them but should spend time with healthier ties instead. You can do it instantly or drastically until their actions stop affecting you. Distancing yourself from toxic family members poses a challenge of screwing the whole family’s perspectives towards a person who thought they were doing the right thing. Therefore, you should approach the toxic family relationships with utmost caution. This, however, does not mean that they have any rights to infringe on your happiness. No, you deserve happiness and success, and nothing should come in between you and the two.

Hope your cup is full of positivity!