Every grandparent has a “walk three miles in the snow” story about how hard things were in their day. Our parents tell stories of life without microwaves, remote controls, and cell phones that have become modern-day conveniences of people of nearly every income level. I even find myself reminding my kids that back in the day “there was no internet, we had to go to the library.”

 

One of the goals in life is to make things better for future generations. But what about the generation who has grown up with so many modern conveniences and technological advances, the only real struggle many of them know is that one time the cell towers went down and they had no wi-fi for several hours?

 

You want your kids to have the things you didn’t, but you also want them to be polite and grateful and not have the feeling that they are “entitled” to the life that has been afforded them.

 

Here’s how to not have bratty kids:

 

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

 

That child that is throwing the tantrum in the store may be too accustomed to things going their way. Kids need to know that not getting what you want is part of life. They don’t always have to be perfectly happy. Resist the urge to satisfy their every desire even if you have the means to do so. Accepting things you cannot change isn’t easy, it takes practice. Give them plenty of it. It will prepare them for the real world and make them more patient adults.

 

The Rules

 

Human beings are creatures of habit. Kids need bedtimes, curfews, meal requirements, snack restrictions, chores and other guidelines and responsibilities to establish discipline. Draw a correlation between what they want to do and the rules that they need to follow. They may not agree with you, but at least they know there is a method to the madness of adolescence.

 

Peer Pressure

 

Peer pressure can be as tough for parents as it is for their children. Do not follow other parents’ lead in making decisions for your child. Resist the urge to give kids what others have, simply because they have it. Set your own boundaries and timelines for your household. Don’t fall victim to keeping up with the Joneses, even if you can afford it. Sometimes you are the one who needs to just say no.

 

Raise the Stakes

 

You know what your child wants, give them a time table and a set of goals to accomplish in before the obtain it. Don’t just give it away. Set age limits for them to get a later bedtime or curfew. If you can afford to get them a car at sixteen, make sure they have to get good grades first. If their quinceanera is about to be MTV worthy, make sure they spend time volunteering and helping out their grandparents on the weekends in return.

 

You Better Work

 

From the moment your child can walk, they can also pick up their toys and put them away. Even if you are fortunate enough to have a maid or nanny, children should be responsible for making their own beds and picking up after themselves. Taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher, helping make their own breakfast or lunch before school are tasks that can be designated for teenagers.

 

Please and Thank You

 

Your child should be in the habit of saying it early and often. Watch your child’s interactions with others. Be it the mailman, the checkout clerk at grocery story, or the parents during carpool pick-up. Make sure they are polite and in the habit of showing their appreciation.

 

Most importantly, you set the example. Regardless of your professional or financial status, if they see you handle yourself with grace, dignity and a sense of appreciation, it is more likely that they will do the same.