5 Hidden Blessings in Failure

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama   Recently I received some “bad” news; after years of studying and a nerve-wracking exams’ procedure, I didn’t make it to the list of the lucky few selected for the upper level public administration job posts. Having always tried to keep up with a job that made good use of my law degree, while at the same time pursuing my career as a writer, there were times when I questioned whether a law-related job was actually my true calling. At the time, trying for the public administration exams had seemed like a “best of both worlds” scenario. So, having finally made the difficult decision to take a leap of faith and change my career path, the outcome was certainly not what I had hoped for. Thus, I was faced with two options: either shrivel up in a corner by the heater, bawling my eyes out for one more shattered dream, or finally establish these new neural pathways I’ve been striving to build this past year of awakening and see the situation for what it really was. The expected, rather self-pitying reaction was looking at me with tearful puppy eyes, begging me to indulge in it. But this time I chose the new way. After the initial disappointment, I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the truth of things—that I had done my best for this job opening, and the outcome I was about to fret over was out of my control. I recognized then that I could not change what had happened and I had to accept it. Not surrender, but accept. As I’ve navigated my recent setback, I’ve pinpointed five ways failure can actually be beneficial. 1. You come to terms with what you can control and what you cannot. In short, you get to have a first-class, one-on-one encounter with your ego. Because it is your ego, not your true self, that demands to control every single outcome of every single plan and effort you make. According to Jungian psychology, the ego is made of our own beliefs and ideas about ourselves, whether true or false. That’s why the ego’s very existence depends upon keeping these beliefs intact; it cannot allow them to come crumbling down. For example, you might think of yourself as the best at your job; so when you end up fretting for days over a mistake you might have made at work, this is your ego trying to control something that is out of its power. In my recent exams’ case, I too could have barricaded myself behind my belief that I normally perform well at academics, and allowed my ego to keep nagging me about my not attaining my goal—but this time I chose perspective, not ego. Preparing for a job interview or exam? You can minimize your potential errors by studying thoroughly and keeping yourself in good [...]

2018-11-19T15:21:46+00:00 By |

My Life Is Boring

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Are you bored? Or more specifically, is your life boring? Do you feel stuck in your life? Is it hard for you to actually have fun? Don’t worry because I know how you feel. It seems we do the same things every day. So, for most of us, life is busy. However, we’re certain that there are times when we’re stuck at home, bored. We’ve all been there, when all our work is finished, or maybe everyone’s away and you’re home alone and bored. Today, let’s do something new and different. I would like to share with you 10 things to do when life gets bored.   Go on a walk/run. Challenge yourself to leave your cell phone in your purse or pocket. Admire the view. Create a Vision Board. (Write down 5 things that you want to accomplish by next month.) Strengthen your brain (Read/Listen to books.) Become a member of a fitness gym. Provide service to others. (Help someone in your community.) Host a game night. (Invite your friends over for a fun night of board games.) Clean out your closet. (Make a trash pile, a donate pile, and a keep pile.) Challenge yourself. (Set some goals for yourself that you never really thought of achieving and set out to accomplish them.) Get out of the house and meet new people. (One of the absolute best ways to rid yourself of boredom is through stimulating conversation.) Cook for fun. (If you don't really consider yourself a baker, look online for some beginner recipes and you will surely find something easy and delicious.)   “Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours."  – Dale Carnegie   The world and life – both are small. Go and enjoy every bit of it. Don’t miss the good things in life, worrying about the undesired. Stop being bored, and start being creative.   When life is boring, I hope you'll use these ideas to help you get out of any slump.   #AlrightNow #BreakOut

2019-02-15T13:28:16+00:00 By |

How a Hobby Can Boost Your Motivation and Change Your Life

“If you want to be happy, be.” ~Leo Tolstoy   We’ve all hit a low motivational point in our lives at one time or another. I am completely aware of that feeling of having nothing to fight for. In those reoccurring periods of despondency, I couldn’t find a reason to get myself out of bed. It’s funny that I got the life-changing question at a job interview. It was a stressful situation, and the hiring manager made it even more overwhelming when he looked at me straight in the eyes and asked: “What motivates you in life?” I can’t remember what I answered, but I do remember the devastation I felt from the true answer I found in me: “Nothing, nothing motivates me.” That was the turning point. Lots and lots of meditations later, I realized where all that frustration was coming from: I didn’t have a single thing that made me happy. Why was I so incomplete? I couldn’t get a job that made me feel useful, and all my friendships were superficial. I’ll spare you from the details of my reasoning process. I didn’t read, I didn’t write, I wasn’t trying to learn anything, I didn’t have a special someone in my life, and I didn’t have a hobby. A HOBBY! The sole thought of it made me burst in laughter. I’d never had a hobby. I basically had nothing to lose, so I decided I would give this idea a try. Picking a hobby was all I needed to do, and that’s how I ended up making endless reading lists. I found different reasons why I needed a hobby: It helps people express their creativity. I had an office job at the moment, and I was a total slave of routine. I needed that ‘escape’ activity that left me alone with my thoughts. I was already meditating every day, but I couldn’t call that a hobby… it was more like a responsibility for me. And, to be honest, it was making me even more miserable: I knew I needed a and I knew I didn’t have the courage to leave my job. A hobby like gardening, jewelry making, painting, knitting, or anything else related to creating would allow me to keep touch with the inner artist. That special activity clarifies the mind. It doesn’t matter what hobby I would pick. My options included reading, yoga, piano playing, running, or walking—all these activities have a meditative effect on the thoughts. The entire awareness is focused on the thing we are doing, and we can shut out every negative thought that was present before. In a way, when the hobby merges action and awareness, it becomes meditation in motion. Most hobbies have a social aspect. They give us the opportunity to interact with people who share our interests, so we develop connections that are not shallow at all. Let me tell you a secret: I have great communication with the people I met through [...]

2018-10-25T19:06:46+00:00 By |

What’s Your Risk-Taking IQ? Research Suggests How Much Risk We’re Willing to Take is Pre-Wired

Tips on How to Be a Bolder You!   Have you ever wondered what drives people to take certain risks, such as going bungee jumping or risking a financial gamble? While a person’s tendency to take risks will often vary, a new study has proven that over time a stable general factor affects general risk preference. Swiss and German researchers have recently finished a study that looked into this general factor of individual risk preference, “which remains stable over time” and is similar to the general Intelligence Quotient (IQ). The study, which was published in two journals (Science Advances and Nature Human Behaviour) was based on findings that involved 1,500 participants. (Related: Preventable Lifestyle Risks Kill More Than One Million Americans Yearly.) Individuals often make life-changing decisions based on various factors, but we don’t really know the nature of the risk preference that significantly affects risk-related decisions. Does a person’s risk preference have anything to do with the context or is it mostly the same even in different scenarios? It looks like the answer to both questions is “yes,” and findings from a large-scale study done by the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin and the University of Basel, which was accomplished with funding from the Swiss National Science Foundation, has the data to prove this. The Swiss and German researchers used three unique approaches to evaluate the risk preferences of 1,507 adults aged 20 to 36 years old: “self-reports on hypothetical risk scenarios,” “experimental behavioral tests involving financial incentives,” and “information on actual risky activities in everyday life.” Overall, the participants finished 39 tests in one day. The researchers then asked the 109 participants to retake the tests after six months to analyze the stability of the risk preference over time. Past studies on risk preference often relied on only one or only a handful of measurement instruments. Dr. Renato Frey from the University of Basel and the Max Planck Institute for Human Development shared, “Our findings indicate that risk-taking propensity has a psychometric structure similar to that of psychological personality characteristics. Like the general factor of intelligence, there is also a general factor of risk preference.” He added, “In other words, your willingness to take risks may vary across different areas of your life, but it will always be affected by the underlying general factor of risk preference.” To support this theory, the study’s results revealed that a person’s general factor of risk preference stays stable over time. The study also found that both the hypothetical scenarios and the reports on actual risk-taking behavior helped determine a similar analysis of a person’s unique risk preference. Meanwhile, a new picture resulted from the experimental behavior tests. Based on a comprehensive study of the differences, the researchers confirmed that for the different behavior test, participants used unique decision-making strategies. These strategies varied according to the type of behavioral task, like when risk was presented in the context of a game, or via a [...]

2018-10-09T18:52:11+00:00 By |

The Power of No

Learn How Saying No Can Be Liberating!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Is your need to please everyone getting in the way of your happiness? Exhausted. Empty. Enslaved. Do those words describe you? We have probably said “YES” more than enough times and it has caused us stress. Why is it that one of the most common words in the English language is so difficult to say? I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, there are lots of reasons I have a hard time with that one simple word. I want to please people. I don’t want to be mean or unhelpful. I don’t want to burn a bridge or miss an opportunity or miss out on something fun. I don’t want people to be mad or upset with me or to speak poorly of me. So sometimes I’ll say “Yes” to avoid that feeling.  Hmmm….. Does that sound like some of you? Why don’t we say “no?” We don’t have the guts to do it. We don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers. We’re afraid people will think that we’re not committed. We’re concerned that people will think we’re not team players. We’re concerned that people will think we are unwilling to sacrifice. And so, time and time again, we say yes when we shouldn’t. Often at the expense of something else. Does this sound like you? A yes comes out of your mouth before you have the chance to stop it and you are agreeing to something you don’t want to do. Believe it or not, saying yes to everything is also an addiction. Often times, our guilt, fear and anxiety rule our minds when we say no. Read this carefully Alrighters: Don’t feel the need to feel guilty about your decision. This will only promote anxiety and unwanted stress. Be confident when you say “NO.” Don’t always see saying “no” as letting down another person. See it as an opportunity to do something to make yourself happy and focus on your wants and needs. So, say goodbye to being a people pleaser and learn how to confidently say no to someone without feeling bad about it. Get rid of those who use you or take advantage of you. They never call you or think of you unless they need something from you – and they’re really good at persuading you to give in to them.   There’s another word for that kind of persuasion: it’s called mass manipulation. Do you feel like you’ve been manipulated, taking advantage of? If so, it’s time to WIN back your life!   “It’s only by saying “no” that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs      DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY “NO” Never dwell on what people think about your decision. Walk away with peace of mind. Let it go!   YOU DON’T NEED TO [...]

2018-10-11T16:14:37+00:00 By |

Achieving Your Goals – Could You Be Sleeping Your Dreams Away?

Being Well Rested Helps You Get What You Want In Life!   Whether you’re fighting for weight loss, success at work, or you’re just working towards starting something new; achieving your goals is all about effort, right? But did you know that you could be literally sleeping away your success? Studies have found that there’s a huge (massive, really) link between sleep and things like weight or emotional stress. If you’re uneducated about what sleep should be like and how to achieve that, you could be ruining your goals and not even realize it; particularly, when you’re losing weight. It’s not just sleeping too little that could ruin your goals either – you could be sleeping too much! Studies found that with education alone, 100% of participants were able to improve their habits What does this mean? Simple, you can train yourself to sleep better. Better sleep, means better results when it comes to your goals.  When surveyed, 37 working women who were exhibiting poor sleeping habits were able to improve them with just 3-5 weeks of light educational training on effective sleep and good sleep hygiene. The three big effects poor sleep habits have and how they impact your goals There are three basic ways that have been proven again and again to disrupt your goals in terms of sleep problems. 1. Poor sleep hygiene has been linked to depression Studies have shown that if you have under 6 hours of sleep or over 8 hours of sleep, you’re at a much greater risk of depression. As someone who’s gone through bouts of depression, I’m here to say that this can and will definitely impact your motivation, will to keep moving, and overall energy level. 2.  Not getting enough sleep can dramatically affect our relationships When you’re trying to achieve something, a support system is fundamentally important. Medical News Today has reported that couples especially have been completely pinned each other against on another after even just one night of poor sleep when studied. 3.  Sleeplessness and oversleeping linked to diabetes and weight gain The international journal of obesity (IJO) has reported that there is a definite link between weight gain and sleeplessness. The truth is, gaining unwanted weight can be detrimental for your health; but what’s worse is the impact it has on your self-esteem, energy, and even your interpersonal relationships.  IJO reports, “The odds of obesity (BMI 30 kg/m2) was 3.7-fold greater (95% CI: 2.7–5.0) in men and 2.3-fold greater in women (95% CI: 1.6–3.1) who slept less than 5 h.”   What can you do to keep your goals from rotting away due to poor sleep? Your first step to making sure that you’re not impacted negatively by your sleeping habits is to educate yourself. It’s not enough just to think about sleep what can do. If you want to achieve your goals, you need to take actionable steps to improving your sleeping habits. Want to learn more about the steps you can [...]

2018-09-19T16:16:31+00:00 By |

Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes, Dare Instead

Find Out Why Making Mistakes is Normal   Successful people are not afraid to make mistakes. They know that they learn from them. After every mistakes they make, they are aware that success is just around the corner. Idea is the first step towards riches. However, the idea may never see the light of day if you don’t dare. Success is impossible without the don’t courage to act boldly. Even if you fail, be persistent. Complete the tasks and achieve your dreams. Staying in you comfort zone is easy, it takes no action, but it also doesn’t bring any results. By staying passive you allow other influences control your life. Instead of you controlling your situation, you allow other things and other people control you. Why is it so hard Although daring seems intimidating, if you can control your mind to avoid all the fears that stop you from being great, you can achieve things you have always dreamed of. You’ll live an amazing life. If you are struggling with self-esteem, you need to become aware that you are the person who controls your own thought. By having more positive attitude, you make more positive results. Act. Release your fear. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be afraid of being judged. People will judge you whatever you do. It is easier than it seems By replacing your negative thoughts by positive ones in every situation you find yourself, you make your subconscious mind have positive attitude about all the situations you find yourself. Thus, you create your positive mindset. Subsequently, your positive mindset can only bring positive results. And, you’ll live the life you’ve always wanted. The key to every success story is to never give up. If you analyze all successful people in this world, you’ll find out that they made more mistakes than everyone else. However, persistence made them great. They did not give up. This is crucial for your success story. What to do Go meet new people, take the trip abroad you’ve always dreamed of, start learning a new language, start exercising. You’ll see that it was the first step that was the most difficult to make. After you make the first one, the next one seems to be easier than before. When you start doing it, you’ll find yourself with more self-confidence. And, you’ll be ready for more difficult tasks such as find a better job, start your own business, immigrate to a new country, start studying at the University etc. Don’t worry when you make a mistake during your journey. Everyone makes them. People who don’t make mistakes, don’t do much. Learn from your mistakes and don’t let them discourage you or make you feel bad about yourself. It is impossible to succeed without making at least one mistake. Furthermore, you need to learn how to encourage yourself. You don’t need encouragement from other people. You’ll never find it, anyway. Therefore, don’t feel the need to be motivated [...]

2018-09-19T14:34:34+00:00 By |

Kick Fear to The Curb

Use These Sure-Fire Tips to Conquer Your Fears!   “Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you”.   Are you a FEAR KICKER? “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” — Nelson Mandela   The number one barrier to living confidently is FEAR. You, quite frankly, deal with it every day in small and large doses. Fear has a way of keeping you in prison and preventing you from living the big life you imagine. Fear is the little monster that sits on our shoulders, holding us back from growth, success, fulfillment and happiness. It's fear that prevents you from being an entrepreneur. It's fear that stops you from ending a relationship you know is wrong for you. It’s fear that invades your thinking while taking an exam. It's fear that hold you from living your best life. Sometimes we are aware of our fear, but much of the time, we are so “used to it” that it becomes our normal. Obviously, this is a HUGE problem! WAKE up reader. “Fear is STEALING your life!” Fear is taking stealing everything that you suppose to have, like love, joy, peace, and happiness. I always say, your fear should not have a cozy room in your life. “Whatever you do — don't let your fear live with you. KICK FEAR TO THE CURB." I've spent many years of my life believing, one day, I'll be the person I was meant to be. I waited and hoped, and I circled my comfort zone like a sad puppy. I now realize the key is to get beyond that and take risks without letting the fear of failure take over. By taking calculated risks, not being afraid to try new things, and continually challenging ourselves, it becomes easy to cultivate openness to new experiences. If you want to live fearlessly, you absolutely must let go of some beliefs and actions. Here are some of them: What other people think of you. You will never please everyone, and it is hardly worth sacrificing yourself to entertain some other person's beliefs about who you should be or what you should do. Fear of failing. You will fail. Again and again and again. Legendary speaker Les Brown said, “You will fail your way to success.” It is an inevitable part of success. Accept that, and failure won't be so intimidating. The discomfort of fear. Fear is annoying or uncomfortable. No one likes to be sitting in fear. We'll do just about anything to bypass it. But you must know from experience, it is temporary. And it doesn't kill you. Fear disappears when confronted! As I conclude this article, do what scares you. Start small: take baby steps. If your dream is to speak in front of a room, but the [...]

2018-08-22T18:06:38+00:00 By |

Are You Successful?

Are you successful? Somehow this phrase has gotten twisted in people’s minds and what is often heard is: “Are you financially well off?” I measure success in happiness, health, quality of life, family, friends and relationships and experiences. I enjoy my time here on earth (for the most part) (everyone has their days), and spend my time doing things I enjoy with people I care about. I listen to my intuition and inner guidance and if something doesn’t feel right? – I stop doing it. I live my life based in the idea that if I am enjoying life (and not hurting anyone) it is the right direction for me. I lead my life based in feeling rather than thought and being bogged down by the over thinking mind. Success to me is allowing myself to be vulnerable and open enough to really connect with other people, to let them see me as I am and to really listen and do the same with them. Success is being there as a friend when people need me.. and in turn they are there for me. Success is waking up and feeling good about myself and grateful for every thing that I have. Success is being able to be present in the now and appreciate what is rather than always wishing for what could be. Success is allowing all feelings fully no matter how uncomfortable because I know that stifling them leads to disaster. Success is doing what I feel is right vs. just what is easy.  Success is being fully me no matter what anyone thinks.   Interestingly because I don’t live in the mindset of lack but rather abundance, money always does seem to show up when I need it. When I was little my mom would reach in the glove box of the car at garage sales, find a few dollars, and declare “We’re rich!” so? I thought we were rich! Life, money, all of it – is about perception. Living from a mindset of lack and holding tightly to money creates stagnant energy. Giving freely with out fear to help others opens you up energetically to attract more abundance into your life. We are always divinely supported – we just have to allow it. What I put out there, money or other wise has always come back to me. So when someone asks “Sarah, are you successful?” My answer is a resounding yes. Every day in every way I am getting better and better and better. https://www.naturalnewsblogs.com Please visit www.sarahbarendse.com for the latest articles!

2018-08-21T18:21:35+00:00 By |