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When Should You Consider Couples Therapy?

Relationships take work, and any couple that claims theirs is easy breezy 100% of the time must be either sugarcoating the truth or the luckiest people on the planet. Most couples have ups and downs, good times and bad, highs, lows, and everything in between. From the thrills to the troubles, those who intend to stick with it will do all in their power to persist. Throwing in the towel isn’t an option, and fighting for love is what they believe in. It takes strength and support to make it through the trying times and staying on track can be tricky. Sometimes, this requires professional guidance to get to a place of positivity, especially when the couple feels stuck in a rut or at their wit’s end. Should you consider couples therapy? If you’re already thinking about it, the answer is probably yes. First and foremost, erase any shame or stigma you may feel about this option. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about and nothing to hide. Taking steps to improve your relationship is a meaningful approach towards a brighter future and a closer connection.   You’re Constantly Bickering If you can’t go a day without back-and-forth bickering, nitpicking, and feeling annoyed, there’s surely an underlying issue at play. Rather than delving deep into the root of the problem, you find fault in nearly everything else. It’s exasperating. This dreadful dynamic leads to tension and aggravation. You’ll focus on trivial things that otherwise wouldn’t have bothered you. Your relationship will suffer as you throw verbal jabs and criticize. Couples therapy can help you open up to share what’s really bothering you. Once that’s out in the open and you can heal that pain, the bickering will become a thing of the past. You’ll be able to address one another directly with the tools your therapist teaches you.   Lack of Trust Trust is the cornerstone of a good relationship. When it’s broken, everything can fall apart. When one or both partners lose trust, it affects nearly everything, and this can lead to arguments, lack of affection, and even a breakup. One may lose trust due to infidelity, lies, secrets, or something else that compromises the confidence and faith in the relationship. Constant questioning and ongoing doubt is stressful and scary. Couples therapy can address this concern and help the couple reestablish a level of certainty and stability, so they can regain the trust that was lost along the way.   You’ve Hit A Dry Spell The “honeymoon phase” is over and now you feel more like friends. There’s little (if any) romance and your relationship is pretty much platonic. While it’s nice to have a best friend by your side, you want more out of your relationship for the long run. A therapist can help you reignite the spark you once shared, prompting you to fall in love all over again. Don’t expect the same level lust you experienced when the relationship was new, but [...]

2020-11-09T13:51:32-08:00By |

I Used to Be Hungry All the Time

I mean, hungry allll the time. Basically, if I was awake, I was ready to eat. I’d mindlessly pick at whatever was available. I’d wander the kitchen feeling “snacky” all the time. I’d be completely consumed with thoughts of what I was going to eat next from the minute I woke up til the minute I went to bed. And behind all the desires to eat were always the arguments—what I wanted to eat versus what I thought I was “supposed” to eat. No matter how much I had just eaten, I could literally always still eat. I lived in a constant state of fear of putting on more weight and felt guilty and horrible about myself for all of it. “No thanks, I’m not hungry” wasn’t a sentence that existed in my vocabulary. If there was food around, I was eating it. If there wasn’t food around, I was going to get it. (An interesting point to make here, and something for you to think about in your own history with food and dieting, is that I was never like that until I started dieting. The harder I tried to restrict certain foods, the worse it seemed to get, but I digress…) Dieting and food rules were a big part of the cause, but they weren’t the only cause. For many years, I thought I was a pig. I thought I was just someone who loved food. I thought I was a pig with no self-control. For quite a while I even thought I was addicted to food (and more specifically, sugar). That was the problem, I thought. The solution then, of course, was to just try keep trying to “be good.” I had to want it more, shame myself more, and try harder to stop eating things I shouldn’t eat. I thought the way I felt about my body (hatred, of course) was my fault because I was too much of a pig to stop eating and I kept making myself fatter and fatter (I thought). I knew there were things in my past that could have been considered “issues” I’d never dealt with, but as far as I was concerned, they were in the past. I was over them. Besides, I was strong and nothing bothered me (I thought). That’s what I honestly believed. But wow, was I wrong. Here’s what I’ve learned in the years since I’ve “awakened” (as they say) to the truth. First, our thoughts are not our truth, but if we repeat the same ones to ourselves for long enough, we believe them to be true. What stories are you running on autoplay in your head everyday about yourself, about food, about your body, about food? Second, our thoughts are only the surface level chattering of a very complex computer, and that computer is constantly running (mostly) unconscious programs in the background, all day, every day. Beneath those thoughts, what subconscious beliefs are lingering and driving them? Those programs not [...]

2020-11-09T13:52:42-08:00By |

When Is the Right Time to Say, “I Love You” For the First Time?

The words are nearly falling from your lips, but saying “l love you” for the very first time is tricky. You may be unsure if the feeling is mutual, if it’s too soon to share such an important message, or whether or not it is truly love that you’re experiencing. Only you know what’s in your heart, but expressing it can lead to anything from embarrassment to exhilaration. You feel the butterflies batting away in your belly, your mind is always preoccupied, and when you are with your significant other, you’re in a state of bliss. It’s a beautiful thing, but is it love? Could be. The right time to say “I love you” is different for everyone, but certain principles apply universally. Before you blurt it out, be sure you’re ready, and prepared for whatever reaction will follow. You’re taking a chance, but it’s worth it, especially if the person you’re in love with loves you just the same.   Infatuation or The Real Deal? Is your attraction more than skin deep? And even if you adore your significant other’s personality, are you simply smitten or struck by Cupid? Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if you’re head over heels or if your heart is really in it. If you think you’re at the love stage, consider all facets of the relationship, your significant other’s attributes and attitude, and where you see the relationship going. If it’s just a fling, forget about saying, “I love you.” It’s premature, and probably a surefire way to end the relationship abruptly. However, if you have deep feelings that hit at all your emotions and engage your soul with happiness, love may be where you’re at.   A Private Moment The very first time you say, “I love you” will be meaningful and memorable. Make the moment special by being alone and intimate. The last thing you want to do is shout it out at a crowded bar or in front of others, which can be awkward, to say the least. Find a place that’s private, look into their eyes, and reveal your truth. Your heart will pour out honesty, as they take it in and process your profession. You may get an “I love you too!” in return, which would be the ultimate response, but don’t go in expecting to hear those words. Some people need some time to take it in and figure out how they feel. Don’t be discouraged or regretful, as your sentiment will mark a serious step in your relationship.   On the Other Hand… Sometimes, overthinking can drive you nuts. If you think you’re in love, shout it out from the rooftops. Life is short, and if you think you’ve found “the one,” they ought to know it. While this approach may be risky, if you’re the impulsive type, you’re willing to lay it all out on the table. That said, hopefully you don’t fall in love too easily. One Tinder [...]

2020-10-27T16:59:16-07:00By |

Trauma Can Make Us Sick: How I Found a Key to Healing

“Our bodies contain our histories—every chapter, line, and verse of every event and relationship in our lives.” ~Caroline Myss   I could hear my teacher talking, but I wasn’t listening. Staring at the math homework in front of me, I couldn’t get the sound of my heartbeat out of my head. Two times two equals, thump thump, equals thump thump, four. The more I focused on my heartbeat, the louder it became. I could even feel beating in my chest. Noticing the clock, I had ten more minutes before my mom would meet me in the school office. We had a meeting scheduled with the school nurse. I dreaded it. Was I in trouble? If so, then why was I meeting the nurse and not the principal? Besides, I was an A+ student. I never got in trouble. At the sound of the bell, I made my way reluctantly to the office. As planned, Mom was there. The school nurse, a small woman with a huge smile, met the both of us. “Come in,” she said, as she motioned in the direction of her door. I looked over at my mom and she looked at me, shrugging her shoulders. We were both clueless about the purpose of this meeting. “Uh huh,” clearing her throat, Nurse Smith broke the ice… “Let’s get to it. Casey, you are too thin. It concerns me.” Looking at my mom, she said, “Mom, do you know why Casey is losing so much weight?” My mom quickly described our diet and how she prepared meals for me, “balanced and complete.” “Is Casey seeing a doctor?” Nurse Smith followed up. My mom, in an agitated voice said, “When necessary we go to our family physician.” Looking at me intently, Nurse Smith patted me on the shoulder, “Okay, Casey, you eat more of your mom’s good cooking and get some weight on you. I don’t want to see you back in my office until you fill out a bit.” This was one of many incidents where people, including professionals, noticed something physical about me, made assumptions, but never asked me about my experience. No one asked me about my perceptions of my weight. Did I notice changes in the way my pants fit? Did I notice changes in my desire to eat? Instead, a band-aid approach—eat my mom’s great food—was recommended, and I was sent on my way. It was assumed that if I ate more, my weight would increase. Was eating more also the solution for my fast heartbeat? Apparently not. Months later, during a physical education drill, my teacher confirmed my rapid heartbeat. My teacher was not only concerned, but I was banned from taking physical education classes until my heartbeat was “normal.” Saddened that I couldn’t take a class that I really enjoyed, no one, including my physicians, offered me any solutions. After wearing heart monitors and complying with many tests, I was diagnosed with tachycardia. This is a medical [...]

2020-03-24T12:02:47-07:00By |

4 Secret Tools to Help You Cultivate Calm

In a world of chaos and confusion, cultivating calm comes from our own efforts. With the hustle and bustle of these fast-moving modern times, finding peace and quiet seems near impossible. We have hurdles and hardships, but that doesn’t mean a place of calm isn’t possible. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated, it’s important to calm down before things get out of hand. From my own experiences, I know that if I don’t take that important “me time” to decompress, I’ll wind up frantic and frazzled. No matter how much is on my plate, I carve out time for calm in order to center myself and create a harmonious balance that gets me through even the most challenging moments. My secrets? They’re pretty simple. It’s not rocket science or anything time consuming, expensive, or elaborate. These go-to calm-me-down techniques always help me chill out and concentrate. I can relax, recharge, and get that sense of renewal that keeps me from losing my cool.   Mellow Music I have a special playlist I put on when I need to take things down a notch. Smooth R&B, old-school love songs, delicate instrumentals, and pared down acoustic versions of my favorite songs are easy to listen to and put me in a mellow mindset. I love upbeat music too, but I play those songs when I need some pep, like during my intense workouts. When it’s time for low-key listening, I’d rather feel the music than get on my feet and dance. When I’m in bed or resting on the couch and I’m not in a music mood, I play sounds of nature or listen to a book on tape. I can zone out and forget about the world for a while.   Meditation Mode Meditating is so healing. I try to practice as much as possible, even if I can only spend a few minutes here and there to do so. I focus on my breathing and posture, as well as loosening my tight muscles and built-up tension. There’s no formal way to meditate – you can sit quietly in a dim room, follow the instructions of an expert on video, or find an in-person “guru” to guide you. The most important thing is to get in touch with your inner peace as you learn how to cope effectively with outside noise and nonsense. After each meditation session, I always feel like a new person. I’m more patient and positive.   Incense Aromas I’m a big fan of burning incense, not only for the aromatic elements, but for the calming properties. I have a huge collection with nearly every scent I can think of. My favorite sandalwood, with its woodsy waft that permeates the air with warmth. It makes my home feel cozy and I never get tired of the smell. I often burn incense while meditating, making the experience even more soothing for my soul. If you’re not into burning incense, try home fragrance oils. They [...]

2020-10-08T17:47:34-07:00By |

Tips to Get Kids to Listen and Follow Instructions

Do you wonder how to make your children follow your instructions and make kids' education successful? This article offers tips for getting children of all ages to listen to their parents' words and follow their directions. Parents are often nervously trying to get their children to hear them and do something. Why isn't my child listening to me? Why is it so difficult for him to do what I ask? How can I get him to listen to my instructions? If you are asking yourself these questions, then this article is for you. Yes, we all want a better education for our kids. If you ask these questions, advice on how to get your child to listen to you and follow your directions can help. Here are some simple tips for you, so let’s dive in!   Capture your child's attention Do you want your child to listen to what you have to say? First, grab his attention. Here's how to help your child pay attention to what you are saying. Remove any distractions (TV, music, computer). Use some physical education games for kids for concentration.  Try to be on the same level and stay close. If necessary, sit down and look him in the eyes as you speak.  Use your example to show how to pay attention to what other people are saying. When he wants to talk to you, take your mind off everything and listen carefully only to him.   Be clear and specific Talk to your kid directly to the point. Ask him to do something, avoiding abstract long phrases. Try to keep it concise and straightforward as it helps your child understand you better. Why is education important for kids in doing parents’ tasks? In most situations, the child does not follow your instructions because he may forget what you are telling him. The reason may be your verbosity. You can help your child hear you using these simple ways: Try to use no more than 3-4 words. For example, instead of, "You need to wash your hands every time before you eat," say, "Wash your hands." Or, if you want your child to clean the room, say bluntly, “Clean the room.” You need to give the children only one instruction at a time. It is the best way to make sure they follow all your commands. If you want to give your child more than one task, wait for him to complete the previous one before explaining the next one. If you do need to give your child more than one instruction at once, clearly define the sequence. Give your kids all the information they need to do the task, help them learn everything about it in detail, and know the method and correct sequence of actions. Speak affirmatively, don't ask questions "Darling, can you close the door?" It is a question to which you can get different answers - yes or no. For the child to follow instructions, [...]

2020-10-07T16:11:41-07:00By |

The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself Every Day

“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield   When I was seven years old, I almost died. My family and I were at Central Station in Sydney, Australia to celebrate the last steam train to ever depart the station. It was about eight at night, and I remember it so clearly. The train was stationary at the platform, about to depart. I heard the whistle from the engine as the wheels started to chug and move ever so slowly. My older brother and I were excited, and we decided that it would be a great idea to race the train. We told mum and dad, and they mentioned that they would meet us at the car outside afterward. The train started picking up some speed, so my brother and I started to jog beside it. Before we knew it, we were running. Shortly after that, we were sprinting. I remember ever so clearly watching the train as I was running along the platform. The carriages were a dark brown wooden color, and some of the windows were open. I remember one of the doors at the end of a carriage clanging open and shut with each jolt of the train. Then, I was out. The next thing I knew, I was huddled up in a crouched position with the wheels of the train literally centimeters from my face. I noticed that I was leaning hard against something firm. Then I realized it was the platform. I had somehow fallen in the gap between the platform and the train. I thought to myself, “How did I end up here?” The wheels continued to roll past me, and I could feel the breeze like it was trying to suck me in. I crouched there, staring at the end of the train, waiting for it to finally pass me by. After what seemed to be an eternity, the train finally moved past me and I was left there, crouching in the open with everything around me starting to go quiet. I quickly stood up and turned to the platform to see an older lady sitting on a bench, hands cupped around her mouth and eyes wide open. She was completely in shock. Before I knew it, my brother was with me and he pulled me up from the tracks onto the platform. He put his arm around me as started to move hastily back to my parents. However, he quickly removed his arm from around me and I noticed it had blood all over it. I realized I was bleeding heavily from the head. My parents were back at the car, and as we raced toward them they looked a little confused, not sure why I was crying and why my brother looked shocked. My brother started speaking really fast: “We were racing the train, and I was ahead of Brendan. I was getting toward [...]

2020-03-24T11:58:02-07:00By |

3 Great Ways To Combat Loneliness When You’re Single

Being single is nothing to sneeze at. You have your freedom and plenty of time to focus on yourself. That said, there’s something special about being part of a pair. You go out on dinner dates, watch movies together, stay up all night talking, and naturally, there’s the romantic side of things. You have someone to turn to and lean on, and you don’t worry about being alone. It’s a comforting feeling that’s easy to get used to. As for the singles, the “me time” is immeasurable, but there can be a sense of loneliness that casts a shadow over the whole independence thing. This feeling of isolation becomes even greater when friends are coupled up and canoodling while you’re the third wheel that would rather stay home than deal with an awkward dynamic. A feeling of emptiness may overwhelm you as you become an outcast among your group. They may still love you all the same, but they’ve got their own priorities, part of which is keeping the magic alive in their own relationship. Before you brand yourself a future “cat lady,” realize although you may feel lonely, you’re not alone…unless you want to be. You can combat loneliness by living your life to the fullest, even if you’re not in a relationship at the moment. These three ways to combat loneliness will get you in touch with your soul and spirit. Cherish yourself and the many charms that make you unique. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and say “Yes!” to being single. You’ve got so much going for you, so don’t give up or give in.   A Family Affair Family members share a special bond that can’t be broken. Connect with those family members you especially enjoy being around, even if you can’t meet in person right now. Text, call, FaceTime, or Zoom. Chat about everyday happenings as well as the big picture. Whether it has been a while or you’re quite close, it’s always nice to know that your family is there for you. Perhaps there’s no one in your family you’d care to communicate with. Instead, reach out to old friends and classmates, co-workers, and neighbors. Just like you, they’d love to have someone to talk to or meet up with to socialize, single or not.   Pet Project There’s no time like the present to adopt a pet. Loving companions need a good home, and you can provide a safe space for a new furry friend. Having a pet is a great responsibility, but the rewards pay back by the billions. You can focus your energy on playing and petting, lots of snuggles, and perhaps some slobber. Long walks, unconditional love, and a best friend by your side will make you feel less alone.   Dive into Work, Hobbies, School, Etc. Use your single status to your advantage by becoming extra-productive. Get ahead on work projects, school assignments, volunteering, and household odds and ends. You can pick up a [...]

2020-12-01T14:53:43-08:00By |

The Top 7 Secrets for Happy Couples to Survive the Years

There are some happy couples who stay together for 20 years and more. Then there are couples who last only 5 minutes together because of a Facebook post. Makes you wonder why can’t a couple in a relationship stay together for years nowadays. I'm sure you're not the only one who questions  the secrets of happy couples who stay married for years? This post will give you the insight of many healthy and happy relationships lasting 20 years!   Happy Couples Secret 1: Trust Sure there's a temptation to go through your partner’s phone as they sleep next to you. Before you put your detective hat on, stop yourself. It’s not worth fighting over what’s on their phone. Remember, curiosity killed the cat. Every time you want to snoop around, think of this old saying. Besides you have to trust your partner. You can’t build a relationship if there’s no trust.   Happy Couples Secret 2: Communication When you and your partner get into a fight what happens? Do you both runoff and swear to never talk to each other ever again? If you want to make your relationship work, then you have to learn how to communicate. Let’s not forget that active listening skills are a part of communication too. Take the time to listen to what your partner is saying to you. Don’t wait until an argument to use your active listening skills. Your partner will tell you what they want from you if you take the time to listen through everyday conversation.   Happy Couples Secret 3: Affection Showing affection to your partner is as important as communicating. How else do you think happy couples stay in love? Affection doesn’t have to be sexual. Unhappy couples think all physical touches have to lend to sex and when there’s no they avoid it. Happy couples know affection is a must! Snuggle Kiss on the check Rub on the shoulders Communicate and listen Let them know they were on your mind Holding hands Simple actions like these are a great way to show affection if you don't know-how. Happy couples know showing affection creates a sense of harmony. It’s the little things that matter the most.   Happy Couples Secret 4: Respect Happy couples respect their partner’s space and them as a person. Treat your partner how you would like to be. Think about it, don’t you want someone who: Listen to your needs and wants Communicate openly to you Speak kindly of you Help build your self-esteem up This is how respect looks like in a healthy relationship. Respect your partner and don’t take them for granted.   Happy Couples Secret 5: Own Identity Spending 24/ 7  with your loved one is a bad idea. You need some time apart and your separate identity. It’s ok to share common interests and views together. This is what made you and your partner close. Though you should have a hobby, friend, or family member separate [...]

2020-10-02T17:26:56-07:00By |

4 Things You Can Do Now to Feel Happy

Mindfulness is our awareness of ourselves and our surroundings. Starting from within and working outward, the more conscious we are of our spirit and soul, the better people we become. I’m a big believer in practicing mindfulness, and I do it every day, sometimes multiple times throughout the day. When I’m tuned into my deep thoughts and can clear my head of needless noise and chaos, I’m a better mother, partner, friend, and acquaintance. It gives me peace and pleasure to be my best self, and that means staying true to my beliefs, treating others with kindness and compassion, and knowing that I’m valuable. Not sure what to do to be more mindful? Here’s what I do daily to reach my self-prescribed quota of mindfulness. Even when I’m busy, I manage to squeeze in something. It’s just as important as my other to-dos, so I try not to miss my chance to better myself. The rewards I’ve reaped over the years have been well worth every instance.   Meditate Meditation is perfect for reducing stress and giving my mind a chance to sort things out and find solutions. Sometimes I let my brain go “blank,” and just exist. I find a dim quiet place to be alone where I can breathe deeply, connect with my body, and decompress. I finish the session with a nice stretch and a renewed sense of self.   Journaling I keep a journal in my nightstand so I can jot down what’s on my mind first thing in the morning and right before I fall asleep. I find that these are the hours when I have plenty to put to paper, and if I don’t get it out, I tend to forget what I was thinking. These journal entries can be emotional, inspirational, something work-related, a way to vent, and so on. If I write something down before blurting it out, I’m usually more controlled and coherent. Sometimes just writing is enough, and I keep my entries all to myself.   Affirmations If we’re not our own biggest fans, then how can we expect others to hold us in high regards? Even when I’m feeling down or things didn’t pan out as expected, I remind myself that I’m worthy and wonderful. I’m a loving mother, a faithful partner, and a devoted friend. I’m beautiful inside and out, and my actions are always geared towards the greater good. I even praise myself when I’ve eaten healthfully, exercised, and cleaned the house. I smile when I look in the mirror and appreciate the fine lines that show my strengths and struggles. Loving myself is the best gift I can get.   Learning Be like a sponge and soak up something new every day. Read whatever you can get your hands on, watch the news, talk to people outside your immediate circle, and be open to different opinions. If you have the time or inclination, take a course in something you’ve been interested [...]

2020-10-15T18:54:42-07:00By |

3 Simple Ways to Be Happier in 2020

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”    Are you happy? You deserve to be happy. Not just any kind of happy, but genuinely happy. Yet, how can you be happy during something like the COVID-19 pandemic? How can you even think about happiness and peace during these times? You might think it is difficult and impossible, and that a life of happiness and peace in 2020 requires specific happenings. This is not so. There is no perfect time or right time. Every day you deserve to feel like you’re excited to be alive. I'm not looking over the fact that most of us have heard the voice of "2020" whisper things like:   “You won't achieve happiness.” "Life won't give you what you want." "From now on this is how it will always be." However, you can choose to not allow 2020 to defeat you. You can choose to still act on your dream. Why? Because NO YEAR and NO ONE can overrule your decision to live a blissful life. “No human on earth has power over you; you are the driver of your own life; don't give up your driver's seat.”-Lyoshi Esters   You deserve to feel good about your life. You deserve to look forward to the future with a hopeful mindset instead of a fearful one. So, what’s my goal? It is to motivate you to FIGHT for your RIGHT to be HAPPY.   Here are 3 simple ways to live a happier life in 2020.   1. Be a doer The doers are the ones that take it from the mind and into real life. They aren’t afraid to just do it and make their happiness a reality. When life is beating you down, get up, fight back, be a doer. Don’t just accept your outcomes. Don’t be submissive. Be active, a doer. Give your fears and stress the boot and power through like a Dodge Challenger vehicle. Your happiness is on the other side!   2. Practice mindfulness Do you ever notice how one negative thought can send us into a place of distress, fear, shame or sadness? Practicing mindfulness can help us to identify and disengage these thoughts, moving our attention back to the present moment with thoughts that support us. Mindfulness has been shown to help us be less affected by stress, more relaxed and more productive. For the next 15 days, choose one of these activities to focus on each day. Walking the dog for 15 minutes (Listen to your breathing, listen to your footsteps, and let your dog walk you safely around the park.) Taking a shower (Listen to the sound of the water as it relaxes your brain, take this moment and allow your thoughts and feelings to be washed away.) Soothing Music (Permit yourself to only listen to the music, without constantly checking your email or searching google or social media on your [...]

2020-10-08T15:05:34-07:00By |

Why Some Solo Time Is a Good Part of a Relationship

Being in a relationship means you always have a special someone to spend time with. Whether it’s a weekend date night or just vegging out on the couch cuddling, the together time is important for bonding and keeping the romance alive. That said, too much togetherness is not always ideal. You do not have to be joined at the hip to have a good relationship; in fact, time apart can strengthen a couple. Solo time gives each person some personal space to do their own thing, focus on themselves, and embrace their independence. When a relationship has a good foundation and there is two-way trust, away time won’t compromise their “couplehood,” and when they reconnect, things fall right back into place.   Time to Myself I adore my significant other, but I also look forward to time alone. It has nothing to do with my adoration for this amazing person, and the feeling is mutual. I covet the time when I do not have to compromise, so I can get some extra work done, exercise, read a good book, binge-watch one of my guilty pleasures, run errands, or just flop on my favorite chair with a cup of hot tea. I know my partner isn’t particularly interested in doing these things anyhow, so it works in both our favors.   Getting to Know Me By now, I have a pretty strong sense of the woman I am and what I want to achieve, both personally and professionally. I am confident, creative, and caring, but my curiosity is always creeping in. When I am alone, I have quiet time to reach inside and learn more about myself, helping me become a better person – not only for myself, but for my partner as well. When we are constantly with someone else, our identities can become blended. That’s great as far as who we are as a couple, but we are also individuals with unique attributes and personality traits. Keeping these identities separate makes us more interesting as people and as a pair.   Decompress Although I feel completely at ease with my partner, there is a sense of being “on” when we are together. It is far from stressful, but sometimes I just want to “be.” When I spend time solo, I can simply sit there and do absolutely nothing. I do not have to say a word or move a muscle. This helps me tremendously with releasing the day’s built-up tension and helps me relax and recharge. I often meditate and get my mind off things. It gives me clarity and contentment. Once I am back together with my partner, I am in a much better place.   Go solo and see how it impacts your relationship. Whether it’s just a few hours or even a couple of days, do what benefits your relationship without worrying about what other people think. Solo time works for me, and my partner is 100% on board. When we [...]

2020-09-28T13:27:16-07:00By |