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How to Handle Family Conflicts

“Hold up your cup here is some positive tea that I want to pour out for you.”    There isn’t a family on earth that hasn’t had to battle with conflict at some point or another. Having a positive family doesn’t mean you don’t have to manage conflict. There are many reasons family conflict occurs. We are all different and have distinctive experiences in how we communicate, what we value and how we live our lives. So, yes, it is normal for a family to have conflict, but the secret is in how you deal with them.   Here are the three family conflict resolution secrets:   Take your heart out of the conflict when communicating Taking your heart out of the conflict simply means keeping your emotions at bay. Sometimes your emotions may lead you to say something that you'll regret. Keep a calm voice; shouting, yelling and stomping will raise that person's stress level and automatically puts them on the defense. I know it's difficult to shut out your emotions. However, do your best to manage them and be more logical about the conflict.   "Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." --Frank Outlaw   Listen without being on the defense When listening to another individual, are you really listening with your ears? Or are you twiddling your thumbs waiting for your chance to respond? You must use active listening, which means you listen to understand and not to defend yourself. As a consequence, you can help rebuild relationships, solve problems, and instead of making assumptions, you can improve the accuracy of knowing the root of the problem, resolve conflicts, and ensure understanding. Let that family member or friend complete their thoughts and listen to them without disruption.   “Listen with the will to learn.” ― Unarine Ramaru   Brainstorm solutions together After, you've done both steps above, you should be in a good space to collectively solve the conflict together. Make sure that you are not only giving the suggestion; if so, you will think the conflict is solved but actually it isn’t until the other person suggests and you both agree to the best solution going forward.   Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. -Edward Everett Hale   #AlrightNow #2022 LiveYourBestLife

2022-08-26T18:09:29-07:00By |

Remember This Tool When Leading Through Uncertainty

Our understanding of leadership has changed dramatically in recent years. We used to collectively believe that leadership is about having the answers. More and more of us now know that leadership is not about having the answers, leadership is about service and allowing the best answers to be found. Leadership is about personal accountability, curiosity, deep listening, adapting, serving, finding mutual benefit, integrity, communication, kindness, respect, vision, and commitment. Leadership is a way of being.   When we're faced with uncertainty, it's easy to fall back into the old notion that leadership means having the right answers. Answers make us feel safe and when we're uncertain, safe is what we want most. Unfortunately, this is the exact wrong way to navigate an unknown situation. The results will nearly always be subpar, if not a total disaster.   When we seek safety, we seek the known. Very often though, what we know is not going to get us through uncertainty because, by it's nature, we are outside the bounds of what we know.   Today, I find myself facing another significant uncertainty. My beautiful mare Dancer is sick, very sick. I've done all that I know to help her and now it is time for the vet to step in.   The challenge now is to walk through this health crisis with my head on straight. To be a leader to my herd, I am responsible for their care. Isn't that true of any health crisis? The vet is an expert, an expert who I feel deeply grateful to have available just like any doctor. Whether the health crisis is happening to our animals or our own self, we all will face more than one in this lifetime.   It is tempting at times like this to turn over responsibility to the experts. It's times like this we can think, "I don't have the answer, so I must not be the right one to lead here!" Yet, at the end of the day, the accountability rests with me and abdicating that is not good leadership. Isn't that true when we're facing the oncologist too? The goal as leader is to keep your head clear and heart open, so that the expertise and information can be fully absorbed. From there, it can inform our best thinking.   I've recently been enjoying a book called More Time to Think by Nancy Kline. In it, Kline provides a well considered and researched framework for creating powerful thinking environments. One core belief that she holds (which I resonate with entirely) is that YOU are the best source of answers to the questions that YOU have. If given a safe and loving environment, information, and time, you will find the best possible solution.   Thus, there is good news here. I will have the answer regarding how to best care for Dancer. What I need are these three things: 1) an excellent thinking environment, 2) information (veterinary expertise, personal experience, experience [...]

2022-05-23T18:45:39-07:00By |

Boundaries Are Our Points of Connection, Not Walls

When someone said the words, "You need better boundaries," I used to bristle. I used to believe that boundaries meant walls that we build to protect our egos. I despised walls, I didn't trust the ego, thus I hated boundaries too. As a lifelong yogi, I believed that unity was the goal and boundaries were in direct opposition. Then one day I was working with a powerful horse. He was pushing his giant body around and forcing me to either step up or get out of the way. My trainer said that I was leading with my forehead, trying to direct his movements from my spiritual eye. He coached me to drop into my body and move from my belly, the seat of power. I was taken aback. Was I really trying to push this big horse around with my forehead? Yup. And it was getting me nowhere. So, I dropped in. I breathed deep, grounded into the earth with my feet, and re-centered my attention on the belly. When I was ready, I began to move the horse again, but this time, I led from my core. He responded immediately by moving where I asked him to go. He moved gracefully around the arena with me in willing partnership because I had met his energy with an appropriate match. Let me be clear, it wasn't about pushing him around or being "the boss." Too high a vibration and he was shoving right into me, too much space between us and the connection would be lost. The change happened when I met him at the correct frequency, the boundary point where our energies could meet in healthy partnership. This was the first in a long journey of exploring the power of boundaries with horses and then with humans. In time, I learned that a boundary is not a wall, it is an appropriate point of connection. To hold healthy boundaries takes way more energy and awareness than to put up a wall or it's opposite, to let everyone unload their crap on you. The effort and discipline reaps worthwhile rewards. Relationships at work and home are transformed when we learn the art of boundaries because our points of connection become empowering, authentic, and full of love. This is the art of partnership and it will change everything. [embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwkLCdza9jI[/embedyt]

2022-02-24T13:57:45-08:00By |

8 Activities with Surprising Mental Health Benefits

If you want to improve your mental health, you might use therapy services, take prescription medicines, and exercise more often. While these are typically the best options for people struggling with emotional and psychological issues, there are also a variety of other activities that can yield surprising mental health benefits. Here are just a few suggestions:   Art Therapy Expressing oneself has always been a great option for those with a lot on their mind, and using various mediums, such as painting or sculpting, can help you to express complex and difficult emotions. People dealing with anxiety or depression can benefit from translating the emotions in their heads onto a variety of mediums while under the guidance of a professional art therapist.   Dance Dancing can be an excellent way to alleviate stress and express yourself. It’s a convenient activity due to the lack of needed materials and the ease of doing it anywhere, at any time, and it’s a wonderful way to express your individual style and creativity. In many contexts, dancing can also be a social activity, and interacting with others can combat feelings of loneliness or being misunderstood.   Outdoor Activities Interacting with nature can be a simple way to clear your head and reflect on life. Being in natural surroundings enables you to reconnect with the world and take your mind off of society and material things. If fresh air sounds good but escaping into nature isn’t quite what you had in mind, how about a weekend trip to Los Angeles? You could check out some of those restaurants and bookstores you’ve been hearing about, followed by a stop at the Natural History Museum. You could even catch a Dodgers game if you're a sports fan. You can find discounted tickets online through sites like TickPick which allows you to filter by date, price range, and seat rating. You can also utilize their interactive seating chart of Dodger Stadium to get 360-degree virtual in-seat views before you purchase.   Puzzles Solving puzzles can provide a mental challenge that grants a sense of achievement upon completion. Puzzles offer you chances to pursue difficult tasks without presenting any real-world consequences for failure.   Watching Movies Movies help people escape to other places, view the world through perspectives that are new to us, and present questions about the human condition we may be eager to answer. Studies have shown some surprisingly potent psychological benefits of watching movies.   Collecting Collecting things creates a sense of accomplishment that compounds upon itself as the collection grows. There are also clubs built around collecting different things, so if you’re dealing with loneliness, you’ll get the chance to socialize with others who share your interest.   Cooking Preparing food can be a fun and creative activity that generates positive feelings for those who enjoy serving friends and family members. Cooking dishes that are culturally or personally significant is also a great way to help others feel closer to [...]

2022-02-23T14:01:51-08:00By |

Want to Change the World? Learn to Receive.

I am friends with some of the best people on earth. They are kind, devoted, and disciplined. Many of them want to change the world. Some want to change it through activism or nonprofit work, others want to create powerful businesses that solve the world's problems, some are artists with incredible perspectives to share, and some want to change the world by becoming enlightened. If you're reading this, you're one of them. I am too. Full stop. So, if our intentions are good and our efforts focused, why are so many of us playing small? Our books are being self-published, our classes reach numbers in the tens or maybe hundreds, but not thousands. Our nonprofits struggle for funding or our B-corps lack investors. Even with our best efforts, our community of influence never breaks beyond a certain bubble. Here's what I felt deeply this morning that is changing me: I used to believe that to change the world, I needed to set aside my ego and be a channel for something bigger than me. Now I know that to change the world, I need to receive its love and gifts with such acceptance that it fuels ME to BE BIGGER. Every time someone used to say to me, "Great job Gita," or, "Thank you, you've helped me so much," I would shrink. I would reply with uncomfortable responses like, "It wasn't me, it was the Divine, but thank you," or, "it's been a team effort, but thanks." These responses came from fear that the praise would grow my ego and my ego was the enemy. Here is what happened this morning that changed me. I was standing inside the gate to my horse pasture, halter in hand. I observed three of my horses notice me. Slowly they stopped their grazing and turned to face me as if to say, "hello." There they stood, about fifty feet away, facing me. It felt like they were waiting for me to answer a question. I closed my eyes and scanned my body. I noticed my breath and took a big one. Then I decided to ask myself a question, "Who do I need to be to have them choose to come to me?" The answer came, "You need to be so full of love that they feel amazing in your presence and they can't wait to be near you." Then a visual came to me. I was walking out onto a stage, about to give a speech to an audience of thousands. I felt my big open heart, I breathed deeply from my belly. A wave of adoration and appreciation flooded me from the audience. Rather than ducking the wave and fearing it will make me an ego-maniac, I let it wash all over me. It felt like a huge tsunami of love and as I let it into my heart, I felt myself expand bigger and bigger until I could feel every single person in the audience! [...]

2022-02-09T13:23:59-08:00By |

The Path to Parenthood Through Gestational Surrogacy

In the past two decades, gestational surrogacy has proven itself as a reliable family building method for intended parents who cannot carry a pregnancy by themselves. Infertility, no doubt about it, is a difficult subject to digest and even more difficult to go through. Surrogacy gives those struggling parents a hope amidst the closing doors. Thanks to the famous personalities like Tig Notaro, Lucy Liu, Jimmy Fallon, Kim Kardashian using surrogacy to become parents, the process has gained limelight. Today, more and more hopeful couples and individuals are turning to this life changing path. The hitch here is that gestational surrogacy is a time-consuming journey and demands a lot of patience. A typical surrogacy process takes around one to two years (sometimes more). So, let’s break down the process in parts and see how you can grow your family using surrogacy.   Find an Agency Searching on Google for ‘surrogacy agencies’ or ‘surrogacy professionals’ will give you a big list of surrogacy agencies but it is your responsibility to partner with the right one with the most economical gestational surrogacy cost. Remember, the one returning your call first may not be suitable for you. When looking for an agency, thoroughly search their: Reputation and expertise Values Services Surrogate screening Arranging meeting with your potential match Transparency about fees Communication Legal assistance and services Level of support Doctors and staff Do they offer any free consultation Of course, you can go for independent surrogacy where you will be solely responsible for arranging all the support and resources needed. Most intended parents turn to surrogacy agencies since it greatly eases the process.   Find an IVF Clinic An IVF clinic is where the medical processes of the surrogacy are taken care of. Most surrogacy agencies have partnering fertility clinics which can save you time and expenses. Still, do some research on your own before choosing the fertility clinic. Look for the following criteria to help find the convenient clinic: Location Legal Surrogacy for gay and single parents Single or unmarried couple Same-sex couple Financials Medical expertise Available treatment options IVF Cryopreservation   Select a Surrogate Mother Once you have partnered with an agency, it’s time to complete the most crucial part of the whole process - find the right gestational carrier. This woman will become a surrogate for your baby, so it’s absolutely important that you feel comfortable being partnered with her. The surrogacy agencies typically have a large database of surrogates but once you have shortlisted some candidates, look for these qualities: Between the ages of 21 to 37 years Trustworthy, responsible, and committed Be aware of the potential risks A resident of a surrogacy-friendly state Must be in excellent health and have had at least one successful pregnancy A non-smoker and no records of drugs abuse Lives in a healthy home environment She is driven by the desire to help someone become parents Emotionally and mentally healthy   Surrogacy Contract After you have found the [...]

2022-01-25T13:23:01-08:00By |

Guide to Raising Children to Be Empathetic, Expressive, and Healthy

No one ever said raising children was easy -- but with enough smiles, elbow grease, persistence, communication, fun, and participation in sports, you and your brood can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Bringing kids into the world and turning them (hopefully) into members of society is a complicated thing. Here are some resources for making sure you have the main points covered.   Communication is key Any coach worth their salt understands that the old adage “communication is the most important part of any relationship” goes double for the ones you have with your kids, even from the earliest years.   Supporting your child’s ability to express themselves verbally should begin nearly at birth. Using synonyms of a word once your child expresses their understanding of it is a good way to help them build vocabulary. When your child gets older, read stories to them, and sing songs together. You’re building their skills and their trust in you.   Promote emotional health Your children have mental health challenges, too -- and teaching them how to care for themselves in a way that improves their emotional health will be a huge boon to them in the future. This is true on and off the field.   Using physical cues like hugs can be a great way to display love and improve self-esteem. Provide structure for the activities they are doing. This includes things like a schedule for sports practices and games, bedtime, time limits on video games and tablets, and rules for playtime (like no running in the house, etc.).   Set goals for yourself If the best form of flattery is emulation, then it follows that the best form of education is by example.   Setting goals and earning achievements will show your child that you care for yourself -- and that therefore they should care for themselves as well. Go back to school and earn your master’s degree in computer science or information technology security -- or something else that strikes your fancy. Prioritizing education will show them that they should also care. Create a culture of kindness and good sportsmanship, and make sure they know it is your goal. They will learn from the example you set.   Give them a good head start with nutrition As children age, they need to learn how to build a healthy diet for themselves. You are doing it for them now, but give them the building blocks to achieve this alone once they leave the nest.   Remember: The recommended daily allotment of protein is just about 1 gram per kilogram of body weight per day. Introduce the idea of a healthy diet slowly but surely if you haven’t already. Make small changes that have a big impact down the line, like more veggies and whole grains. Teach your kids to look to nature first for alleviations to their ailments, such as vegetable juice serums.   Giving your kids the building blocks to their [...]

2022-01-17T16:47:15-08:00By |

Five Steps to Turn Failure into Growth

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” - Robert F. Kennedy   We read motivational books, we see meme’s on social media, we hear what great leaders say about failure, they all tell us that failure is a step on the journey to success. They remind us that it is our willingness to fall down, brush off the dirt, look around for the lessons, and keep going that makes or breaks our success. But the cold hard truth is that this process hurts, it’s hard, and our path is littered with grief.   I woke this morning with a heavy heart. Failure was the topic of my personal coaching session yesterday and the feelings lingered. The doubts felt like a dark cloud over my head, causing me to question the choices that I’ve made and the sacrifices along the way. So, as I sat to meditate this morning, I decided to lean into the grief. What came out of the process was a deep sense of gratitude, so here is what I did to get there: Write a list of all your perceived failures. Write the jobs you’ve lost or left in disharmony, the trigger moments that sent you into a tailspin and caused you to react in ways you regret, the relationships that challenged you and you dislike how you handled them, the decisions you made that you regret. Whatever you see as failures, write them down. Now, review the list. Sit with the discomfort and the feelings that arise as you look at each moment. Breathe. Take a few minutes to practice a simple even-count breathing exercise that brings you into an emotionally congruent state. Inhale for four to six counts and exhale for an equal amount of counts. Give yourself at least 5 rounds of this even-count breathing exercise. Next, make a list of the personal quality that you needed, but didn't have enough of, in each failure. Words like integrity, honesty, focus, kindness, mindfulness, forgiveness, boundaries come to mind for me. What was that event trying to teach you? Focus not on the details of the event, but on the qualities within yourself that you wish you had more of to face the challenge and achieve a different outcome. This can be hard. We often want to justify our failures as someone else's fault. Resist that urge. Release the story of what happened and take responsibility for how you showed up in the event only. This is brave and humbling. Finally, take a look at what you’ve written. See how the qualities needed to overcome the challenges you have faced are the areas in yourself that you most need to address. Or, you may find that these are the areas you are making the most progress on. The one question left to ask yourself is this, “am I committed to growing in these areas?” If you have yet to make that commitment, this is your invitation. If [...]

2022-01-13T11:18:55-08:00By |

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Between a rock and a hard place, it's the best way to describe how we all feel at times. It happens when two voices, often inside our own selves, argue about the best course of action.   Clients arrive in this state often. It's a tortuous feeling, usually accompanied by fear of making the wrong choice. As if life is a choose your own adventure story and you're decision today is going to send you to the chapter where the dragon eats you up.   The truth is, these are often big choices. Whether to stay in a marriage, a job, a friendship. Whether to allow our in-laws to come to Thanksgiving or how to deal with a mistake we have made. These choices feel huge because they have real consequences.   When I begin coaching around this choice, the impulse of the client is to dive into the details. Tell the whole story and assume that in doing so, the correct course of action will be obvious. It never is.   You can't solve a problem from the frequency of it. You have to first shift gears. You have to enter a state of safety and Self awareness. Neuroscience has a new theory to explain this called Polyvagal theory.   In a nutshell, it goes like this: the vagus nerve that runs along the spine determines your state of being. When the lower nervous centers, the dorsal and sympathetic systems, are activated, your brain is in a state of either freeze, flight, or fright. From this state, your higher centers at the heart and brain are shut off. You are literally unable to use executive functions. So, telling the story will do you no good. Not without some more subtle things happening in the process.   The way out is through. The way to our executive function is through the heart center along the vagus nerve through a process called co-regulation. This is where Polyvagal gets fascinating. We mammals require an external connection, one that is in a higher functioning state, in order to create internal safety that soothes the lower vagus nervous system. Once our dorsal and sympathetic systems are deactivated, our higher functions of intuition and creative problem solving become available once more.   When we do it right, we reach out for help during a time of crisis choice like this. Maybe it's a trusted friend, a therapist, a coach. Maybe it's a beloved dog or, most powerful among animal co-regulators, a horse. Whoever it is, we are unconsciously seeking a source to co-regulate with us, to help us unlock our higher thinking and perception.   When clients arrive at the round pen in this state, I often have them groom the horse as they share their conflicting feelings, fears, and worries. Sometimes they take the horse for a walk as they talk. They think this is about catching me up to the decision point. It is, of course, helpful to [...]

2022-01-13T11:08:31-08:00By |

Breastfeeding and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

“Breast is best,” is a saying many of us have heard. But is breast milk really best for babies with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)? Is there any connection between breastfeeding and the development of autism? And is it advisable for autistic mothers to breastfeed their babies?   It seems any article about breastfeeding needs to be introduced with great sensitivity, a disclaimer or two, and even then there may be enough reason for accusations of being a “nipple nazi” or alternatively pushing the agenda of formula feeding by manufacturing companies. Maybe it’s better to acknowledge, right off the bat, that there are no clear answers. Plenty of research still needs to be conducted, and most importantly, for moms with autistic children, no one should be adding any more pressure to the (possibly) already boiling pot. Instead, mothers at higher risk of having autistic children may need more information about the suggested role of breast milk in autism prevention or symptom management. Mothers with children with ASD may require information about prolonged breastfeeding and, finally, autistic mothers may be interested to learn more about the influence of neurodivergence when it comes to breastfeeding a baby.   Autism spectrum disorder and breastfeeding Definitive answers about the link between autism prevention and breastfeeding are difficult to provide. There are so many variables, making it difficult for scientists to provide definite conclusions. However, research does suggest a correlation between reduced risk of ASD when breastfeeding. Factors complicating research include things like gestational age and socioeconomic status of mothers. These two factors may influence whether a baby is likely to be breastfed, and it may also influence autism risk. There are, however, some suggestions from recent studies and research about the influence of breastfeeding on autism.   Can breastfeeding reduce the risk of autism? A recent meta-analysis—a statistical analysis combining results of multiple scientific studies—reviewed the association of breastfeeding status with the risk of autism (Ghozy et al., 2020). The authors shared the following: According to their dose-response meta-analysis, breastfeeding a baby for six months was linked to a 54% reduction in risk In the conventional meta-analysis, the greatest reduction in the risk of autism spectrum condition was associated with prolonged breastfeeding of young children, between 12 to 24 months The conclusion of the authors highlights the importance of breastfeeding to reduce the risk of autism. This may be a sound conclusion, reached after a meticulous meta-analysis, but for many women it may feel like a scientific reprimand. A recommendation from the ivory labs where babies don’t latch on incorrectly, inflicting the pain of a crazed piranha intent on destroying human flesh (or at least that’s the downplayed version of my first lactation attempt). For some women, breastfeeding is painful, impractical and demoralizing. For others, circumstances just don’t allow the time and commitment needed to breastfeed. If I didn’t have a village of support, I probably would’ve quit after the first week, where I ended up crying more than my [...]

2021-12-27T13:39:29-08:00By |

7 Tips on How to Be A Successful and Happy Single Parent

Let’s face it. Single parenting is no easy task. You are faced with a constant need to balance your work life, personal life, and budget even with the tremendous job of parenting. You are also entirely responsible for tending to the emotional, physical and developmental needs of your kids. Being a single parent to two sons, I have been asked, over the years, how I have managed to remain happy and energetic while juggling my career, kids and other responsibilities. The truth is that I have always felt empowered by being a single mom and have gained strength in my singleness and the freedom that comes with it. Although single parenting may seem demanding, exhausting and challenging, it can be very fulfilling and rewarding. My sons are older now, but here are some tools that I learned along the way to help keep you happy and fulfilled as you navigate single parenthood.   Don’t feel guilty             First of all, learn to “give yourself a break.” It’s easy to feel guilty about working too much (or too little), not having enough money, or even your child’s success. However, dwelling on this guilt will not help improve the situation. It will only paralyze you and suck the energy right out of you. So, stop putting yourself under pressure to get everything right. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes or blame yourself for everything that goes wrong with your kid. All you can do is your best.   Create a schedule or routine             Create routines and stick to them. Start by scheduling things set for a specific time so your kid(s) know what to expect. Create consistency with scheduling wake-up time, bedtime, mealtime, sports practice and games, appointment, and special family time. Not only do routines create stability, but they also ensure less falls through the cracks.   Make time for self-care             Never overlook your self-care; it isn’t selfish. Creating “me time” for yourself is as equally important as having time for your child. I understand you want to sacrifice your needs and immerse yourself in your kids, but it can get overwhelming. When you feel overwhelmed, take a step back, take care of yourself, and when you feel all relaxed and rejuvenated to continue, pick up from where you left off. Some self-care practices you can engage in include: -watching a favorite movie -taking time to exercise -keeping in touch with friends -getting enough rest -getting that mani/pedi in so you can keep yourself looking good These things help you remind yourself that you and your needs are important too and make you a better parent.   Set goals and prioritize             What would you like to do? Learn to paint, get fit, go back to school or start a new relationship?  Take out time to write your goals. This exercise gave me [...]

2021-05-04T19:24:52-07:00By |

4 Keys to Healthy Conflict

You’re a sensitive person, walking through your day with invisible armor to protect yourself from the intensity, insensitivity, or abrasiveness of others. You’ve found a way to make it work, but at a cost. Your way is avoidance and the cost is your authenticity and joy. When your boss gives you that look, you step back and hunch your shoulders forward in preparation for the requisite admission of guilt that will deescalate him. When your partner uses that tone of voice, you know it’s time to change the subject and forget about trying to be understood. In an argument, the words never come out right. You’re prone to emotional outbursts or bouts of situational depression. Little by little, day by day, your defenses have left you disconnected from your true feelings and unable to find your own voice. If this is you, I get it, this was me too until I let the horse teach me a new way of addressing conflict. Today, I am an equine guided life coach. I facilitate experiential learning for humans with horses, letting the horse guide the human toward a more balanced, authentic, and joyful state of being. What the horse has taught me and my clients about addressing conflict has changed my life forever. Let’s start with a story. One day a client, we’ll call her Cynthia, arrived for a session. She was late, holding a hot coffee in one hand and wearing no protection against the harsh midday sun. She seemed hurried and scattered. As she approached the round pen, Chi, the bay gelding I had selected to work with her, hung his head over the gate and seemed anxious to leave us. Cynthia patted his nose and told him he was handsome. We entered the pen and Cynthia launched into her life situation. As she spoke, the gelding paced around the outside of the pen as if to say, “I feel anxious and tense, I have to move my body.” He was a perfect reflection of Cynthia’s inner state of being. Cynthia continued to share her feelings, thoughts, and beliefs, while another horse, Nasim, approached the round pen and stuck his nose over the fence to greet Chi. The two sniffed in their usual manner, but as Cynthia’s story began to veer toward the conflict she felt between her feelings of suffocation and sincere connection with her spiritual community, the two horses began to argue. Chi and Nasim relentlessly nipped at each other over the rail as Cynthia spoke. For a moment, it seemed to de-escalate as Nasim left Chi and approached the round pen gate in an obvious request to enter. I knew it was risky, Cynthia was caught in her inner conflict and the two geldings were already showing aggression. But, if there is one thing the horses have taught me, (which they certainly have taught more than one thing!) it is to trust them. I let Nasim into the pen and kept a [...]

2021-07-09T20:15:30-07:00By |

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