Is your love life lacking in the fireworks department? Perhaps you have been busy…or bored, and the idea of sparks flying isn’t exactly on your mind. It’s understandable, but let’s undo it. When it comes to staying connected to your partner, keeping things hot in the bedroom is part of a healthy relationship. You don’t have to swing from the chandeliers or reenact a steamy sex scene from a movie, but it would benefit you both if you took things up a notch. It is far too easy to fall into a rut, especially if you have been together for a while. Sure, the lust for one another may have waned, but the comfort level can be amped up with some conscious creativity. The “honeymoon” phase can last longer if you put in the effort. Here are three ways to spice up your love life. You deserve to feel sexy and satisfied.   Dress the Part             You can get into the mood by changing up your wardrobe. Rather than flopping around in stained sweats or your worn-out college T-shirt, slip into something that hugs your curves and reveals some skin. Don’t worry about your perceived “flaws” or flab. Every inch of you is fabulous, and flaunting it will kick things into motion the moment you look in the mirror. If you don’t have anything in your dresser that suits you, it is the perfect chance to peruse online to shop for something a bit risqué. When you are dressed to impress, expect to get noticed.   All-Day Foreplay             There is no need to wait until you’re together to “get it on.” Tease and tempt one another throughout the day to prepare for what’s to come later that night. This can involve suggestive text messages, saucy mid-day phone calls, or little love letters left in secret places. Spritz some of your perfume on your partners clothing or leave a pair of your panties in their bag or briefcase. The element of surprise is remarkably stimulating. When the promise of romance is awaiting their arrival, the hours-long build-up will be worth the wait.   Reminisce and Recapture             Go back in time to when your love life was at its peak. The memories will ignite a renewed interest in getting back to the place when you couldn’t keep your hands off one another. Never feel embarrassed to bring it up, and don’t make your partner feel badly that your love life has fizzled out ever since. They’ve surely noticed it too, so be delicate, but determined. It is common among couples, but you don’t have to be another statistic. Speak in positive terms about these hot and heavy times, and how much you enjoyed the excitement. You can pretend you’ve just met and relive the interactions and intimacy all over again. And this time, you can do it even better! [...]

It sometimes seems like the only path to happiness is with a partner. Just look at TV commercials, rom-coms, and Hallmark cards. Sure, being with someone is special, but single life is just as satisfying. You don’t need to be part of a couple to be complete, and it’s about time that the world wakes up and realizes that happiness comes from within, with or without a significant other to share it with. Whether you are single by choice or due to circumstance, embracing your freedom and all the fun you can have solo is exciting. Being partner-free doesn’t mean loneliness. It gives you opportunity to explore and engage, all on your own terms and in your own time. I’m in a relationship, and it gives me great joy. That said, when I was single, I felt just as fulfilled, just in a different way. Life has its steps and stages. It’s important to take in every moment, appreciate the present, and free your mind of the “What ifs?” and focus on the “What now?” Perhaps “The One” is somewhere out there (if that’s what you want), but for now, it’s all about self-acceptance, a zest for life, and the understanding that your peace and prosperity comes from personal experience and positive energy. Here are three ways single people can stay happy and fulfilled. You deserve the best, so dig in and do it.   Form Friendships             You may have a large circle of friends or just one or two you can count on, but there’s always room for new platonic relationships. It can be tricky to make new friends as an adult, but when you’re open to stepping outside your comfort zone, you’ll give off a vibe that’s welcoming and accepting. Seek out like-minded individuals by volunteering, taking classes, or just being extra-friendly when you’re going about your errands and daily to-dos. You can meet new people at the gym, in line at the grocery store, or while you’re walking your dog. All too often, we keep to ourselves and lose the opportunity to find a friend. Smile at a stranger and you may just find a connection.   Be Healthy           Make yourself your number one priority by eating well, exercising, meditating, and treating yourself to the extras that give you a good feeling. When you’re at your best, you feel awake and alive. If we don’t tend to our mind, body, and spirit, we can fall into a slump. We think the answer comes from the outside – perhaps in a mate – but the real solution is self-care and mind-body management. Go for whole foods, lots of hydration, regular workouts, and plenty of sleep. Erase negative thoughts and give yourself the go-ahead to reach new goals and greater self-awareness. It’s not about looking a certain way or pleasing anyone else. Good health is personal and productive. Put your all into it, [...]

Thanksgiving this year may be a little different than usual. With less travel and smaller gatherings, you may find yourself having a cozy couple’s celebration rather than an all-out family/friends affair. While you may miss the catching up and carefree chaos, there’s something nice about giving a low-key thanks with the special someone in your life. A table for two is far simpler to set up, and you won’t have to worry about your “crazy uncle” going off the rails or everyone asking about the status of your relationship. When you have a Thanksgiving for two, you can bring on the romance while being grateful for your blessings, as you carve the turkey and share the side dishes. Pop open a nice bottle of wine, toast to your good fortune, and settle in with a smile. Be sure to leave room for extra dessert…wink, wink.   Eat What You Want             The typical Thanksgiving fare is delicious, but you don’t have to do the same old thing when it’s just the two of you. If you’re in the mood for something different, serve what you like. Perhaps you’d prefer fish or steak instead of turkey, or want to lighten up the side dishes with fresh salads instead of sweet potatoes and stuffing. You can even order in rather than cooking, saving time and energy so you can relax on your day off. You’re sure to still have leftovers, so store them for the next day’s lunch, when you and your partner can enjoy another meal together.   Make It Festive             Just because it’s only the two of you doesn’t mean the holiday isn’t as important. Give yourselves the full Thanksgiving treatment by bringing out the good dinnerware, using cloth napkins, and getting dressed up nicely for your meal. Play some ambiance music, light a few candles, and sit down at the dining room table rather than plopping down on the couch in front of the TV. Take your time with your meal – savor every bite as well as the precious moments with your partner.   Pay It Forward             You’re fortunate to have a hot meal to eat and someone to share it with. Before sitting down to supper, take some time to help those less fortunate. You can spend a few hours volunteering at a soup kitchen, collect canned goods for donation, or give money to a charitable organization. A little goes a long way, and any effort you can put forth will be appreciated. Doing something like this with your loved one makes the experience even more meaningful, and hopefully you’ll continue doing so moving forward.   Follow Up with Family             Your laid-back Thanksgiving is something you’ll cherish, but find a few minutes to wish your family a happy holiday. Zoom or FaceTime to check in on your loved ones [...]

With holiday season fast approaching, making plans with friends and family is at the forefront. While gatherings and get-togethers may be a bit different this year due to the current state of affairs, there are still sure to be celebrations as 2020 wraps. If you are in a relationship and it’s now reaching the next level, the holiday season becomes a bit more involved. With a partner to share the experiences with, there will have to be compromise and consideration. There are two sets of families and friends to manage, introductions to be made, and traditions to formulate and follow. Before you stress out, remember the season is all about love, laughter, and life. There is no need to get too structured when food, fun, and feeling good are first and foremost. These tips below will help you and your significant other navigate the holidays as a couple. Before long, you will be ringing in the New Year with more memories to make.   Give A “Heads Up”         Before accepting invitations and showing up, alert your loved ones that your relationship is getting serious. You don’t want there to be awkward conversations or any big surprises. Those who support your decisions will be happy that you’ve found that “special someone,” and the fact that you’re celebrating these milestones as a couple is a big deal. This will be your first “introduction” as a serious couple, so expect some questions…perhaps a little prying. Hopefully, nothing gets too personal or uncomfortable, and everyone just wants to get to know your partner better.   Divide and Conquer             Unless you can somehow manage to get both sets of family and friends all together for one big gathering, you’re going to have to decide who you’re going to spend the holidays with. This issue often causes tension between partners, so plan wisely well before the holidays approach. You can do Thanksgiving with your family and Christmas or Hannukah with your partner’s. Perhaps you split the day and head over for supper with one set and dessert with another. And who says you must celebrate a holiday on a specific day? Make it a double and celebrate twice! There are plenty of ways to be sure you cover all the bases and see all the faces you look forward to seeing this time of year. With a little arranging and adjusting, everyone will be on board. Better yet, host the holidays yourselves and invite the whole group to your place. Problem solved.   Release the Pressure             Holiday season can cause anxiety. There’s a lot to do, and the expectations are extraordinary. Don’t let the “musts” of the season cause you to lose your cool. Take a deep breath and give thanks for what you have, including your relationship.   Don’t worry about what your friends and family will think. Be yourselves and everything will fall [...]

Relationships take work, and any couple that claims theirs is easy breezy 100% of the time must be either sugarcoating the truth or the luckiest people on the planet. Most couples have ups and downs, good times and bad, highs, lows, and everything in between. From the thrills to the troubles, those who intend to stick with it will do all in their power to persist. Throwing in the towel isn’t an option, and fighting for love is what they believe in. It takes strength and support to make it through the trying times and staying on track can be tricky. Sometimes, this requires professional guidance to get to a place of positivity, especially when the couple feels stuck in a rut or at their wit’s end. Should you consider couples therapy? If you’re already thinking about it, the answer is probably yes. First and foremost, erase any shame or stigma you may feel about this option. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about and nothing to hide. Taking steps to improve your relationship is a meaningful approach towards a brighter future and a closer connection.   You’re Constantly Bickering             If you can’t go a day without back-and-forth bickering, nitpicking, and feeling annoyed, there’s surely an underlying issue at play. Rather than delving deep into the root of the problem, you find fault in nearly everything else. It’s exasperating. This dreadful dynamic leads to tension and aggravation. You’ll focus on trivial things that otherwise wouldn’t have bothered you. Your relationship will suffer as you throw verbal jabs and criticize. Couples therapy can help you open up to share what’s really bothering you. Once that’s out in the open and you can heal that pain, the bickering will become a thing of the past. You’ll be able to address one another directly with the tools your therapist teaches you.   Lack of Trust             Trust is the cornerstone of a good relationship. When it’s broken, everything can fall apart. When one or both partners lose trust, it affects nearly everything, and this can lead to arguments, lack of affection, and even a breakup. One may lose trust due to infidelity, lies, secrets, or something else that compromises the confidence and faith in the relationship. Constant questioning and ongoing doubt is stressful and scary. Couples therapy can address this concern and help the couple reestablish a level of certainty and stability, so they can regain the trust that was lost along the way.   You’ve Hit A Dry Spell             The “honeymoon phase” is over and now you feel more like friends. There’s little (if any) romance and your relationship is pretty much platonic. While it’s nice to have a best friend by your side, you want more out of your relationship for the long run. A therapist can help you reignite the spark you once shared, prompting you to fall in [...]

The words are nearly falling from your lips, but saying “l love you” for the very first time is tricky. You may be unsure if the feeling is mutual, if it’s too soon to share such an important message, or whether or not it is truly love that you’re experiencing. Only you know what’s in your heart, but expressing it can lead to anything from embarrassment to exhilaration. You feel the butterflies batting away in your belly, your mind is always preoccupied, and when you are with your significant other, you’re in a state of bliss. It’s a beautiful thing, but is it love? Could be. The right time to say “I love you” is different for everyone, but certain principles apply universally. Before you blurt it out, be sure you’re ready, and prepared for whatever reaction will follow. You’re taking a chance, but it’s worth it, especially if the person you’re in love with loves you just the same.   Infatuation or The Real Deal?             Is your attraction more than skin deep? And even if you adore your significant other’s personality, are you simply smitten or struck by Cupid? Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if you’re head over heels or if your heart is really in it. If you think you’re at the love stage, consider all facets of the relationship, your significant other’s attributes and attitude, and where you see the relationship going. If it’s just a fling, forget about saying, “I love you.” It’s premature, and probably a surefire way to end the relationship abruptly. However, if you have deep feelings that hit at all your emotions and engage your soul with happiness, love may be where you’re at.   A Private Moment             The very first time you say, “I love you” will be meaningful and memorable. Make the moment special by being alone and intimate. The last thing you want to do is shout it out at a crowded bar or in front of others, which can be awkward, to say the least. Find a place that’s private, look into their eyes, and reveal your truth. Your heart will pour out honesty, as they take it in and process your profession. You may get an “I love you too!” in return, which would be the ultimate response, but don’t go in expecting to hear those words. Some people need some time to take it in and figure out how they feel. Don’t be discouraged or regretful, as your sentiment will mark a serious step in your relationship.   On the Other Hand…             Sometimes, overthinking can drive you nuts. If you think you’re in love, shout it out from the rooftops. Life is short, and if you think you’ve found “the one,” they ought to know it. While this approach may be risky, if you’re the impulsive type, you’re willing to lay [...]