How To Build a Support System as a Single Parent

Being a single parent comes with many challenges. From making the right decisions alone to finding a balance between work and life, this new parenting situation might be a little daunting and overwhelming. However, the one tool that provides you the most help, above all else, is a support system. Ultimately, it takes a village to raise a child. Entrusting family, friends, and other adults in your life give you and your child the attention, love, and life you both deserve. Learn how to build a support system as a single parent with the following advice. Talk With Your Neighbors or Family One of the first things you need to do after getting granted sole custody of your child is to find individuals you trust to care for them. This is still important, even if you entered parenthood without a partner. Usually, the first people most single parents go to for help are family members. Albeit, it’s still important to find others, like neighbors, to help you when family isn’t available. Join an Online Support Group Sometimes all we need as single parents are words of encouragement and advice instead of physical help. You can find many support groups online for single parents that provide plenty of information and resources to ensure your child has a beautiful life. Consider joining one or two groups to lean on when things get tough. It’s a great way to meet new friends and find like-minded single parents that experience the same hardships as you! Be Clear on What You Need Help With Most people fear asking for help because they don’t want to burden anyone. However, this is precisely what your support system is there for. Does your kid need a babysitter after school? Do you need someone to transport your child to sporting events? Be clear on what you need help with so your peers know and understand how to accommodate you and your child’s needs. Provide Help in Return Building a support system as a single parent shouldn’t be a one-way street. While these adults add value to your and your child’s life, you can also support and add value to theirs! This could be as simple as lending a listening ear or taking this individual out for dinner. The more you invest in the relationship, the more you will gain in return. You might not find your village immediately but don’t stop searching for trusting adults or neighbors. The more adult influence you can provide your child, the more they can flourish and learn. Our support systems become an integral part of parenthood as a single parent. Remember our advice when you’re building your community.

2023-04-24T19:15:54-07:00By |

Tips for Being a Great Co-Parent With Your Ex

Co-parenting can be a hard road to navigate after a fresh divorce or separation, but it’s better than constantly fighting with your ex about parenting decisions. Your children deserve consistency, support, and stability in their relationship with both parents, and you cannot achieve this if you ignore the other parent’s parenting style. Being a great co-parent with your ex takes some effort, but using the tips below can make it much more attainable! Leave the Children Out of the Middle Your children have nothing to do with the dysfunction you and your ex-partner might encounter. Remember that you should never use the children as pawns to get something or put them in the middle of your arguments. It’s also important to avoid relaying information through your child. Communicating between both parents isn’t the child’s responsibility; use clear, direct communication when you need to say something to your ex. Learn To Be Flexible The world isn’t always forgiving, and nothing can go according to plan 100 percent of the time. There could be a time when your ex asks you to switch weekend schedules, or maybe a situation arises where they cannot have the kids at home for a few days. Regardless of the reason, it’s best to be flexible because you never know when you might need the same favor in return. Respect, Respect, Respect How you treat your ex teaches your children how to treat others and even how they can expect you to treat them as adults. Using foul language, showing disrespect, or constantly slandering your ex around the home can sour your future relationship with your children. Meanwhile, showing respectfulness is an excellent way to showcase how to be an engaged and supportive father. When respect is at the forefront of your relationship with your ex, co-parenting becomes much more straightforward. Remain a Team When you and your ex were together, you likely tackled parenting as a team. Just because you are no longer together does not mean you can’t still be a team. As long as you keep clear communication between you two, co-parenting can be very simple. Focus on coordinating and aligning with your partner on set rules, disciplinary actions, and schedules. Develop a Support System You might have heard the saying, “It takes a village,” when it comes to parenting a child. This statement couldn’t be more true—it’s even more prevalent when you’re co-parenting. Being a great co-parent with your ex also includes having a support system for both of you, such as friends or family. We always need a safe place to vent because—let’s face it—parenting is extremely tiresome and challenging. Having someone with a level head can help lessen the chaos you might feel when you and your ex disagree or the parenting plan isn’t going well. Your children are likely the center of your world. Because of this, you’ll probably do everything in your power to ensure your co-parenting situation goes smoothly. It won’t be perfect [...]

2023-02-01T09:50:54-08:00By |

3 Benefits of Taking Your Toddlers for a Walk

When raising a toddler, finding time to get out of the house can feel like a massive task. Thankfully, there’s one way you can get the best of both worlds—routine walks with the family. Besides having the desire to get out of the house, there are several benefits of taking your toddlers for a walk on a routine basis. Continue reading to learn why you should add walks with your family to your daily routine right now. Forming an Admiration for the Outdoors Today’s technology presents many ways for kids to be entertained, from playing games on tablets to watching TV shows, and beyond. Therefore, it’s important to make time for the outdoors. It’s okay to allow kids to indulge in digital entertainment, but balance that out with a healthy dose of the nature around you when the weather permits it. By introducing regular walks to kids at a young age, you can start building their admiration for the world around them right away. A Fun Way To Build Strength Not only are walks fun, but they’re also beneficial to their health. Walking is important for adults because it helps us keep our bones and muscles strong, and kids require the same care. As soon as they can walk, kids should be able to build their strength as they safely explore the world. After all, one of the key reasons why wiggle room is important in kids’ shoes is that it allows them to build strength at a young age. Learning About Their Surroundings Another benefit of taking your toddler for a walk is that it can be a learning experience. Kids can certainly learn about plants and animals in videos or books. However, you can take it a step further and show your kids the beautiful nature up close. Explain to them the things that they are seeing; they may seem normal to you, but extraordinary to them. That way, the outdoors can become more than something they admire. Instead, it can also become something they truly understand, thanks to their time with you.

2023-01-04T14:56:01-08:00By |

The Path to Parenthood Through Gestational Surrogacy

In the past two decades, gestational surrogacy has proven itself as a reliable family building method for intended parents who cannot carry a pregnancy by themselves. Infertility, no doubt about it, is a difficult subject to digest and even more difficult to go through. Surrogacy gives those struggling parents a hope amidst the closing doors. Thanks to the famous personalities like Tig Notaro, Lucy Liu, Jimmy Fallon, Kim Kardashian using surrogacy to become parents, the process has gained limelight. Today, more and more hopeful couples and individuals are turning to this life changing path. The hitch here is that gestational surrogacy is a time-consuming journey and demands a lot of patience. A typical surrogacy process takes around one to two years (sometimes more). So, let’s break down the process in parts and see how you can grow your family using surrogacy.   Find an Agency Searching on Google for ‘surrogacy agencies’ or ‘surrogacy professionals’ will give you a big list of surrogacy agencies but it is your responsibility to partner with the right one with the most economical gestational surrogacy cost. Remember, the one returning your call first may not be suitable for you. When looking for an agency, thoroughly search their: Reputation and expertise Values Services Surrogate screening Arranging meeting with your potential match Transparency about fees Communication Legal assistance and services Level of support Doctors and staff Do they offer any free consultation Of course, you can go for independent surrogacy where you will be solely responsible for arranging all the support and resources needed. Most intended parents turn to surrogacy agencies since it greatly eases the process.   Find an IVF Clinic An IVF clinic is where the medical processes of the surrogacy are taken care of. Most surrogacy agencies have partnering fertility clinics which can save you time and expenses. Still, do some research on your own before choosing the fertility clinic. Look for the following criteria to help find the convenient clinic: Location Legal Surrogacy for gay and single parents Single or unmarried couple Same-sex couple Financials Medical expertise Available treatment options IVF Cryopreservation   Select a Surrogate Mother Once you have partnered with an agency, it’s time to complete the most crucial part of the whole process - find the right gestational carrier. This woman will become a surrogate for your baby, so it’s absolutely important that you feel comfortable being partnered with her. The surrogacy agencies typically have a large database of surrogates but once you have shortlisted some candidates, look for these qualities: Between the ages of 21 to 37 years Trustworthy, responsible, and committed Be aware of the potential risks A resident of a surrogacy-friendly state Must be in excellent health and have had at least one successful pregnancy A non-smoker and no records of drugs abuse Lives in a healthy home environment She is driven by the desire to help someone become parents Emotionally and mentally healthy   Surrogacy Contract After you have found the [...]

2022-01-25T13:23:01-08:00By |

Guide to Raising Children to Be Empathetic, Expressive, and Healthy

No one ever said raising children was easy -- but with enough smiles, elbow grease, persistence, communication, fun, and participation in sports, you and your brood can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Bringing kids into the world and turning them (hopefully) into members of society is a complicated thing. Here are some resources for making sure you have the main points covered.   Communication is key Any coach worth their salt understands that the old adage “communication is the most important part of any relationship” goes double for the ones you have with your kids, even from the earliest years.   Supporting your child’s ability to express themselves verbally should begin nearly at birth. Using synonyms of a word once your child expresses their understanding of it is a good way to help them build vocabulary. When your child gets older, read stories to them, and sing songs together. You’re building their skills and their trust in you.   Promote emotional health Your children have mental health challenges, too -- and teaching them how to care for themselves in a way that improves their emotional health will be a huge boon to them in the future. This is true on and off the field.   Using physical cues like hugs can be a great way to display love and improve self-esteem. Provide structure for the activities they are doing. This includes things like a schedule for sports practices and games, bedtime, time limits on video games and tablets, and rules for playtime (like no running in the house, etc.).   Set goals for yourself If the best form of flattery is emulation, then it follows that the best form of education is by example.   Setting goals and earning achievements will show your child that you care for yourself -- and that therefore they should care for themselves as well. Go back to school and earn your master’s degree in computer science or information technology security -- or something else that strikes your fancy. Prioritizing education will show them that they should also care. Create a culture of kindness and good sportsmanship, and make sure they know it is your goal. They will learn from the example you set.   Give them a good head start with nutrition As children age, they need to learn how to build a healthy diet for themselves. You are doing it for them now, but give them the building blocks to achieve this alone once they leave the nest.   Remember: The recommended daily allotment of protein is just about 1 gram per kilogram of body weight per day. Introduce the idea of a healthy diet slowly but surely if you haven’t already. Make small changes that have a big impact down the line, like more veggies and whole grains. Teach your kids to look to nature first for alleviations to their ailments, such as vegetable juice serums.   Giving your kids the building blocks to their [...]

2022-01-17T16:47:15-08:00By |

Breastfeeding and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

“Breast is best,” is a saying many of us have heard. But is breast milk really best for babies with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)? Is there any connection between breastfeeding and the development of autism? And is it advisable for autistic mothers to breastfeed their babies?   It seems any article about breastfeeding needs to be introduced with great sensitivity, a disclaimer or two, and even then there may be enough reason for accusations of being a “nipple nazi” or alternatively pushing the agenda of formula feeding by manufacturing companies. Maybe it’s better to acknowledge, right off the bat, that there are no clear answers. Plenty of research still needs to be conducted, and most importantly, for moms with autistic children, no one should be adding any more pressure to the (possibly) already boiling pot. Instead, mothers at higher risk of having autistic children may need more information about the suggested role of breast milk in autism prevention or symptom management. Mothers with children with ASD may require information about prolonged breastfeeding and, finally, autistic mothers may be interested to learn more about the influence of neurodivergence when it comes to breastfeeding a baby.   Autism spectrum disorder and breastfeeding Definitive answers about the link between autism prevention and breastfeeding are difficult to provide. There are so many variables, making it difficult for scientists to provide definite conclusions. However, research does suggest a correlation between reduced risk of ASD when breastfeeding. Factors complicating research include things like gestational age and socioeconomic status of mothers. These two factors may influence whether a baby is likely to be breastfed, and it may also influence autism risk. There are, however, some suggestions from recent studies and research about the influence of breastfeeding on autism.   Can breastfeeding reduce the risk of autism? A recent meta-analysis—a statistical analysis combining results of multiple scientific studies—reviewed the association of breastfeeding status with the risk of autism (Ghozy et al., 2020). The authors shared the following: According to their dose-response meta-analysis, breastfeeding a baby for six months was linked to a 54% reduction in risk In the conventional meta-analysis, the greatest reduction in the risk of autism spectrum condition was associated with prolonged breastfeeding of young children, between 12 to 24 months The conclusion of the authors highlights the importance of breastfeeding to reduce the risk of autism. This may be a sound conclusion, reached after a meticulous meta-analysis, but for many women it may feel like a scientific reprimand. A recommendation from the ivory labs where babies don’t latch on incorrectly, inflicting the pain of a crazed piranha intent on destroying human flesh (or at least that’s the downplayed version of my first lactation attempt). For some women, breastfeeding is painful, impractical and demoralizing. For others, circumstances just don’t allow the time and commitment needed to breastfeed. If I didn’t have a village of support, I probably would’ve quit after the first week, where I ended up crying more than my [...]

2021-12-27T13:39:29-08:00By |

7 Tips on How to Be A Successful and Happy Single Parent

Let’s face it. Single parenting is no easy task. You are faced with a constant need to balance your work life, personal life, and budget even with the tremendous job of parenting. You are also entirely responsible for tending to the emotional, physical and developmental needs of your kids. Being a single parent to two sons, I have been asked, over the years, how I have managed to remain happy and energetic while juggling my career, kids and other responsibilities. The truth is that I have always felt empowered by being a single mom and have gained strength in my singleness and the freedom that comes with it. Although single parenting may seem demanding, exhausting and challenging, it can be very fulfilling and rewarding. My sons are older now, but here are some tools that I learned along the way to help keep you happy and fulfilled as you navigate single parenthood.   Don’t feel guilty             First of all, learn to “give yourself a break.” It’s easy to feel guilty about working too much (or too little), not having enough money, or even your child’s success. However, dwelling on this guilt will not help improve the situation. It will only paralyze you and suck the energy right out of you. So, stop putting yourself under pressure to get everything right. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes or blame yourself for everything that goes wrong with your kid. All you can do is your best.   Create a schedule or routine             Create routines and stick to them. Start by scheduling things set for a specific time so your kid(s) know what to expect. Create consistency with scheduling wake-up time, bedtime, mealtime, sports practice and games, appointment, and special family time. Not only do routines create stability, but they also ensure less falls through the cracks.   Make time for self-care             Never overlook your self-care; it isn’t selfish. Creating “me time” for yourself is as equally important as having time for your child. I understand you want to sacrifice your needs and immerse yourself in your kids, but it can get overwhelming. When you feel overwhelmed, take a step back, take care of yourself, and when you feel all relaxed and rejuvenated to continue, pick up from where you left off. Some self-care practices you can engage in include: -watching a favorite movie -taking time to exercise -keeping in touch with friends -getting enough rest -getting that mani/pedi in so you can keep yourself looking good These things help you remind yourself that you and your needs are important too and make you a better parent.   Set goals and prioritize             What would you like to do? Learn to paint, get fit, go back to school or start a new relationship?  Take out time to write your goals. This exercise gave me [...]

2021-05-04T19:24:52-07:00By |

Helpful Tips for Working Single Parents

Being a single parent is common nowadays, but that doesn’t make it easy. Without a partner present to rely on regularly, it puts the single parent in a predicament. With countless obligations and unforeseen issues, there is always something to do, day in and day out. Getting a break is a blessing, but those come fairly infrequently. If you are a single parent like I am, let’s talk. With all the struggles, there are plenty of positive elements to embrace. After all, your children are the center of your universe, and you’d do anything for them, no matter what it takes. The love you have is immeasurable, so you go through the grind to give them a good life. It’s exhausting, but endlessly rewarding. As a working single parent, you have to find a balance that’s doable and won’t drain you completely. Your hours may be crazy, and your “me time” is a few minutes at best. But if you can come to a place of peace by lessening the pressure you’ve put upon yourself; you’ll find that it is possible to do it all, perhaps with time to spare. Here are three tips to handle the challenges of work and family commitments. Once you get into the groove and can take charge, you’ll be less stressed and more successful, at work, in parenting, and simply as a person.   Schedule             You need structure to stay on track. With too many balls in the air, you’re bound to drop at least one of them. Go high-tech with apps that can keep your schedule in order or do things the old-fashioned way by writing down your appointments and such on a calendar. Do this as far ahead of time as possible, so you don’t double book or miss out on important activities and events. Your daughter’s soccer game is right up there with your staff meeting, so if you know what’s what, you can make it to both. Not to mention, you’ll feel less frazzled when everything is in order, so you won’t have to rely on your memory when your mind is already on a million things.   Ask for Help             There’s no shame in asking a co-worker, family member, or friend for a helping hand. “It takes a village…,” so take the opportunity to ask someone for a reasonable favor when you’re particularly pressured. If your sister or mother can pick up the kids from school so you can finish a work project, it could allow you to focus on the task at hand, uninterrupted. Perhaps you can ask your assistant or a co-worker to send that recap email to the boss. You don’t have to be hands-on at all times if you have a solid team you trust. If your kids’ other parent is in their life, be sure they’re doing their part when it comes to custody arrangements and so [...]

2021-05-04T15:38:45-07:00By |

When and How You Should Talk to Your Kids About Sex

Some conversations aren’t easy, and talking to kids about sex is one of them. Not only is the sex talk hard, what’s even harder is knowing how to start. This may be because you don’t have a model for how things should go or never got a sex talk from your parent. Well, while it is normal to feel awkward and nervous talking about sex to our kids, we must do it. You are probably thinking, so when should I get started? How much should I tell my kids about sex? What’s too much for them to handle? You don’t have to worry, that’s why I’m here. In this blog post, I’ll share tips and strategies to help you learn how to talk to kids about sex.   Initiate the Talk Early and Often             As a parent or caregiver, you might wonder how old a child should be before you talk to them about sex. Well, the answer is sooner than you probably think. Here’s why. When you speak about sexual matters from when kids are young, you have the chance to ease into things and ensure your child is getting accurate information when they need it. This builds a foundation for open communication and makes you the person they come to whenever they need answers.   Use Real Names for Private Parts             Start by teaching your kids the correct names for genitals rather than using slang or nicknames. That means naming the genitals at an early stage in your child’s language development. Penis, scrotum, vulva, clitoris, and nipples are all terms they need to be familiar with. Using the appropriate language to talk about body parts reduces the awkwardness surrounding sex talk and lays the groundwork for a more comfortable conversation about sex later.   Look for Everyday Opportunities             Daily life provides tons of opportunities to start a conversation about sex. Ensure you take advantage of every teachable moment. Dive in and offer accurate information whenever your child says anything related to sex. Don’t wait for the point-blank question to be asked or until they’re teenagers. Try starting the discussions naturally using things that come up on TV (such as ads for condoms, menstrual pads, or birth control).   Answer Their Questions Honestly (But Don’t Overshare)             Kids are naturally curious. Therefore, you should be ready to answer questions. They may begin to ask questions like, “How are babies made?” While the amount of details you give to their answer depends on how much they can comprehend, it is important to answer frankly and truthfully. If you don’t answer their questions, they might begin to seek information elsewhere. However, if you become askable, you become the go-to person whenever there’s a question. Additionally, their questions give you an idea of what they already know and serve as an entry point for [...]

2021-05-06T16:13:58-07:00By |

3 Great Dating Tips for Single Parents

Hey single parents! Are you ready to get back out there and date? Finding someone who suits you isn’t a simple feat, but when you feel like it’s time to test the waters, you’ll find there are plenty of fish in the sea. Dating as a single parent does have its intricacies. You’re not on your own with no obligations or obstacles. That said, you now have the drive and determination to find a special someone who is not only a good fit for you, but for your kids as well. While you may not be considering what the future may hold on a first date, it is a detail that’s necessary to navigate. Why bother getting involved with someone who won’t fit in with your family? Your kids are your number one priority, so whoever you date must be on board with your commitments. Weeding out the winners could take time but finding “The One” is well worth it. Before you join a dating site or flip through an app, go to the bar on singles’ night or get set up on a blind date, here are three tips to take into consideration. First and foremost, have fun, but have the presence of mind that your children will be part of the process.   Be Clear Upfront             Mention you’re a single parent from the get-go. This is probably the most important thing you need to share, so don’t wait until date two or three to “reveal” this information. If your date is into you, this news will either be a non-issue or a problem. If it’s the latter…see ya later. You must find a potential partner who is cool with dating a parent. Perhaps they’re one too. Being a single parent shouldn’t scare anyone off, but not everyone is interested in dating someone with children. That’s their prerogative, and it’s yours to move on and meet someone else.   Take Time Before the Big Intro             You should be in a committed relationship before bringing the person you’re dating around your kids. This introduction is a big deal, and it will have an impact on your family. Seeing too many dates come in and out of your life can confuse kids, cause resentment, and just make things awkward. When you’re sure that it’s time to share this aspect of your life with your children, don’t spring it on them with an impromptu intro. Talk first, let them ask questions, and then set up a casual and comfortable meeting where everyone can get to know each other. Things should go smoothly if you’re in a healthy relationship and it feels natural to bring your kids into the mix.   Never Settle             As a single parent, you may be eager to marry or move in with your mate so you can have someone to help you raise your family. [...]

2021-05-04T15:32:09-07:00By |

Tips to Get Kids to Listen and Follow Instructions

Do you wonder how to make your children follow your instructions and make kids' education successful? This article offers tips for getting children of all ages to listen to their parents' words and follow their directions. Parents are often nervously trying to get their children to hear them and do something. Why isn't my child listening to me? Why is it so difficult for him to do what I ask? How can I get him to listen to my instructions? If you are asking yourself these questions, then this article is for you. Yes, we all want a better education for our kids. If you ask these questions, advice on how to get your child to listen to you and follow your directions can help. Here are some simple tips for you, so let’s dive in!   Capture your child's attention Do you want your child to listen to what you have to say? First, grab his attention. Here's how to help your child pay attention to what you are saying. Remove any distractions (TV, music, computer). Use some physical education games for kids for concentration.  Try to be on the same level and stay close. If necessary, sit down and look him in the eyes as you speak.  Use your example to show how to pay attention to what other people are saying. When he wants to talk to you, take your mind off everything and listen carefully only to him.   Be clear and specific Talk to your kid directly to the point. Ask him to do something, avoiding abstract long phrases. Try to keep it concise and straightforward as it helps your child understand you better. Why is education important for kids in doing parents’ tasks? In most situations, the child does not follow your instructions because he may forget what you are telling him. The reason may be your verbosity. You can help your child hear you using these simple ways: Try to use no more than 3-4 words. For example, instead of, "You need to wash your hands every time before you eat," say, "Wash your hands." Or, if you want your child to clean the room, say bluntly, “Clean the room.” You need to give the children only one instruction at a time. It is the best way to make sure they follow all your commands. If you want to give your child more than one task, wait for him to complete the previous one before explaining the next one. If you do need to give your child more than one instruction at once, clearly define the sequence. Give your kids all the information they need to do the task, help them learn everything about it in detail, and know the method and correct sequence of actions. Speak affirmatively, don't ask questions "Darling, can you close the door?" It is a question to which you can get different answers - yes or no. For the child to follow instructions, [...]

2020-10-07T16:11:41-07:00By |

6 Ways to Teach Your Kids to Be Resilient

Sooner or later, we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t always be there for our kids. At one point or the other, they need to stand up for themselves in the face of obstacles and adversities. Raising kids that can cope with stress and rise against challenges is no easy task as a parent. The good news is, with the right steps, every child can be resilient. Growing up, I experienced what bullying felt like and what it does to a child. I saw the effects of a broken family, low academic performance, low self-esteem, and general stress on the fellow kids around me. I made up my mind right then and there that my kids would be different. Now, most of these challenges happen in areas we can’t precisely predict or control, like bullying and divorce, but we can control how our kids react right after. Do they get back up, or do they stay down? Follow me as I guide you through 6 practical yet fun steps to teach your kids to be resilient. Now let’s get right to it!   Teach them to be independent             I’ve always heard people say experience is the best teacher. As a parent, I have come to agree absolutely with it. Being a parent doesn’t mean you always have to jump in every time your kids face an issue. Sometimes it means sitting back and watching them sort things out on their own. I have found that not only does this make them more confident, but it also helps me understand them better. I have found that every kid has a different way of solving their problems. Teach your child to find their way by letting them confront uncertainty and adversity in their way.   Maintain a strong relationship with them             Does leaving your child to sort things out mean staying entirely out of it? No. Part of being a parent means being there when things go south. A little push in the right path might be all they need. Maintaining a close relationship with your kids will help you know just when they are going into a shell and how to help them crack it right open. Handling their issues doesn’t mean they will always handle them correctly. They are sure to make mistakes. Be there to lift them up when they make the wrong choices, so it doesn’t affect their confidence. Teach them that the beauty of falling is getting right back up. That is resilience!   Encourage healthy risks             Let us face it; the real world is full of risks. Taking risk head-on is a skill many adults are still learning to master. Leaving the comfort zone is something many kids don’t do quite often, and when it comes down to it, they have no idea what to do and get [...]

2021-05-04T19:03:18-07:00By |

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